Regaining control after slip

Hi Blues and thanks for your support as always.

You make alot of sense in what you say. I think I will start reading snippets from my own diary a bit more often. I always feel awful after a slip. I need to keep that in mind when it matters.

And yes your comment in my diary about winning a bunch of money being irrelevant.. cos i'd only gamble it away again .. and some.. it just a question of time.

Keep going.. you know yourself your doing well.. just keep an eye out for complacency and reading back through your diary is one way to avoid that. All the best.. S.A 🙂

Hi folks

Thanks for your support.

Had a GREAT weekend on the non gambling front, of course I did as I am an ex-gambler.

Played football friday, great team performance resulting in an emphatic win against a very good side. Body was wrecked on Saturday, so had a quiet enough family day. Yesterday was also spent, due to bad weather, doing simple things that families enjoy.

Been feeling a little ill since early Saturday evening but woke up this morning and worse seems to have passed - maybe I overdid it playing football on Friday ha!!

No urges with regards to gambling at all, which is lovely.

Onto day 81 today, cant believe how quick time flies...ODAAT

Take Care

Blues

Hi Folks,

Relatively quiet day yesterday, a real usual monday, putting things off to today!! So short post here, no bet yesterday and even more determined not to bet today. Hope the urges never ever return but must take it slowly

Onto day 82......

Take Care

Blues

18 days to go blues until the big 100 but once you get their don't take your eye of the ball my friend.

Plus you're too old for football now 😉

Smokes

short posts/long posts doesnt really matter blues...its them little numbers adding up one day at a time that counts...i like your postings and helping of others mate..you talk a lot of sense.. keep it going we can do this 🙂

Thanks for the posts folks, your support really is helping me, and for that I am grateful.

Pleased to say, absolutely nothing to report on the gambling front, no urges, the thought of placing a bet doesnt occur to me anymore, but I know I have to be on my guard. Being able to enjoy sport without a bet has been a massive plus for me, especially after around 4 weeks of no gambling, really started to enjoy watching sport for what it is.

Havent had access to internet for the last couple of days, and to be honest havent really missed it.

If you go back 12-18 months when I had every online account imaginable, no interent access for 2 days really would have been the end of the world. I am beginning to realise, what a selfish existence gambling causes you to have. The ONLY thought is when, where, how to place the next bet. When I was in 'full flow', there was so little of my attention that went into the important things in life (family being the number one), that I hope they are now seeing the real me again.

I have caught up with more old friends in the last couple of months than I ever did when gambling.

We USED to neglect the most important things in life, to stand in a room full of strangers, handing money over and feeling depressed, low and broke all the time.

NOT anymore, gambling has taken a % of my life that I will never get back, but i'm determined to fit in what I have missed out on the past number of years.

I hope you are all doing well, remain urge free and have a happy weekend

Take Care

Blues

Blues,

How are you mate? long time no speak? many thanks for dropping by my diary, your help has been invaluable mate.

Your 12 weeks gamble free now right? wow mate, what an achievement, your sounding so positive and strong each and every day.

The most important thing Blues is that your not letting your family down mate, that must be worth more than anything.

Have a good gamble free weekend mate.

Folks, totally unexpected but I woke up this morning and having a big urge to gamble. I got some bad news early this morning and am attributting it to this.

Jesus, it really has come upon me unexpectedly. I know I CANNOT gamble and must not gamble, but there is an urge there. Maybe its not an urge but my head is telling me a £10 football coupon will be ok. I know it wont be and wanted to visit here to help control those urges.

The block I have in place today is NOT to be alone. If I go out, I will take the kids with me (never taken them in a betting shop in my life), or we will go out as a famliy. I may be snappy today, but will settle for that if it means not placing that first bet.

One day at a time

Take Care

Blues

Well, delighted to report that the urge subsided within a few hours on Saturday, but was a real wake up call. I knew it would have been wrong to place a bet, in fact the worse decision I may ever have made, but my head just kept telling me otherwise. Really was a bolt out of the blue and really delighted not to have acted.

It could be a good thing because I have had absolutely small/no inclination to gamble since 19th Augut 2010, so this will keep me on my toes.

Weekend went really well after that and didnt really affect my mood on the outside (constant battle for a few hours inside tho!!)

Nice family day out yesterday, that included a bite to eat and few beers, which was lovely.

Anyway, I am now in one day at a time mode, but also know that I am closing in on 100 day target.

Today is day 88 of this battle and I intend to keep winning, making my family proud and giving them 100% of my attention...

Take Care

Blues

Hey blues.

88 days. Im in awe of you mate. Your diary is really inspiring. Its showing me what i can have if i change. Also shows your not complacent and aware danger is around every corner. Thankfully you had the strength to resist that latest urge. Keep on going mate. Your story and others are inspiring me to do the same. Please dont slip up now. I will be watching.

'If i stop now, I will never know what the next number would have been. If I never start, I wont care'

Kyle

Just read your update blues. ..how did I miss your diary at weekend ??? Sorry mate but very well done on not acting on them urges. ..will power alone got you through. .£10 is £10 mate that could go towards cinema with kids or something better than punting anyday 😉 hopefully you'll have a better week and you should be proud of your achievements mate. ..we can do this 🙂

hi blues,

thanks for taking time to post on my diary - i see we both had the dreaded urge to gamble last week, and we both made it through unscathed.

It must have been tough for you on saturday, and i am so pleased that you did the right thing, and that YOU were the winner - NOT gambling.

You can make it to 100 days.

You will make it to 100 days.

i have every confidence in you my friend.

take care,

have a great week

tommi

Blues,

Hope your ok fella, great achievement in resisting the urges mate, yes they will be there and yes they will creep up unexpectedly, but you have done so well to keep them at bay.

I hope the news you received was not really bad mate, take care.

Unlucky, Tommy, wp thanks for your posts, really mean a lot to me in my recovery, thanks a lot.

KRS, you have come to the right place and we will all try to support you while fighting our own battles, but I truely believe that we can all do it...

Nothing to report on the gambling front from yesterday, thank God.

Not one urge, but Saturday really showed me how quick they can come on!! madness.

Keep on your guard folks and we will be alright,

Hope you all have a gamble free day

Take Care

Blues

DAY 90 today folks, and no urge to gamble. Finding that I am benefitting now as much as I ever have, by reading other diaries. Some of the stories are so familiar that I could be writing them myself.

Its heartbreaking to realise the money we wasted when gambling and humbling to know how much we can actually live on day to day. There are some days now, when I spend nothing, literally nothing, I come home from work with the exact same amount of cash I go in with. I am finding that money is certainly meaning more to me, but am also concious of how much I spend. Its really good to have money in my pocket with no desire to gamble. When I have tried to stop before, I have only been successful because the majority of times, I didnt have access to cash.

Dont get me wrong, I dont have 000's but 15 or 20 in my pocket and I feel like a millionaire. When I was gambling that 15 or 20 would be gone in a matter of minutes. Or even worse, I would try to stretch it out over 5 or 6 bets, obviously meaning that if I did win, it wasn't going to give me the money I craved to pay off my debts. It got to the stage where it wasnt about the winning, it was just ensuring I had fuel to bet. Even if I trebled my money, it would be another 30 mins of gambling until the inevitable and I walked out, into the rain, BROKE

No more Mr Bookmaker, you will not see another penny of my hard earned as long as I have this burning hatred inside me....

Take Care

Blues