Regaining control after slip

Brian,

Thanks so much for you post, it is SO needed at this moment in time. Really feeling the pressure at the minute, lots of things going on in the last few days, head is all over the shop.

Gambling is way down my thoughts at the minute, which is obviously great, but family are in trouble and i'm doing my best, thats all I can do

Anyhow,hope you all have had a gamble free day

Take Care

Blues

Your wife asking you three times in 24 hours just means that she is worried about you and she really wants to make sure that you don't relapse. And you really don't want to, don't you?

Yes, we are in some form of debt problem or other but what really matters are two things:

1. Each day we don't gamble is another day towards reducing that debt. OK, it may be a small reduction some days but it's still a reduction.

2. Each day we don't gamble is another day that we are taking money away from bookies' profits.

Stay very strong and very positive. You are not alone in this mess.

GT

hope things have picked up for you blues....them demons will be hungry knowing your under pressure...stay strong mate,we can do this 🙂

Blues,

Look at what you have. What would others give to have what you do ?

I'm not trying to be patronising.... money can't buy what you have. All that materialistic stuff means shagg all. People always want stuff (even the people, aparently) but all they need is love, food and warmth. Not a PS3 or a new bike etc..

See the financial pressure for what it is and rise above it. (without driving your family bonkers lol ) All material boll ocks.

One thing you cannot do is destroy that love and warmth that I was referring to, by gambling. You will not allow that to happen... you have been through too much.

Brian

Brian / wp,

Thanks so much for your support, really appreciate it and thats what makes this forum such an important recovery tool. You folk understand the pressure and feelings that other CG's have, and can help from your own experiences.

Please to say that the dark gloomy mood of the past week or so seems to have shifted. No gambling urges over the weekend.

New week, new day, and those horrible evil bookies will not get another penny off me. It really is heartbreaking when I read the new members stories, at the same time its great that they have recognised the problem / disease and decided to stand up to it.

Even more frightening is the amount of CG's in the world who have yet to hit rock bottom. If I could just help one of them from realising until its too late...

Onwards and upwards folks, have a great gamble free day

Take Care

Blues

hi blues,

thanks for your posts, and sorry i haven't been able to reply till today.

I totally understand the pain that debt brings - i was almost sectioned and carted off because of it, and the pain and horror of what i did will never leave me - in the end i was fortunate that a revision of bankruptcy laws a couple of years ago here in scotland, meant i could escape my debt hell - without it, who knows where i would be.

thanks to guys (and ladies) like you, who take the time and effort to read and post, i will make it to a christmas, that won't be ruined by my selfish actions - thanks for your support.

don't be too hard on your wife - she deserves a cuddle, and maybe a sorry ?

hope you are feeling better - and stronger - and that something happens that makes you smile this week.

tommi

Blues,

Hello mate, long time I know and thats my fault, I was off work and couldnt log on here.

Just caught up on your diary, im so glad your still gamblefree mate, Im looking up the mountain we started together and want you to know,I got your back mate.

I can totally understand what your saying about the debt and how we are working and it seems for nothing, remember I was always saying that too, but your advice to me was, keep on looking forward, this is what you must do Blues, look forward.

Take care my friend

thanks for the post blues mate....you havent updated your own diary today, though i just know alls well....keep going mate,we can do this 🙂

Yes wp, all is well, thanks for the mail. Sometimes I feel that offering support to others actually helps me more than updating my own diary, wierd, but true in my case.

Nothing to report since my last entry on the gambling front. Financially, we are starting to feel the Xmas pinch, but we will get through it. The usual conversation came up with regards to no money last night and I was told that there was money I had put aside for xmas presents (for my wife) if I needed it, she really is a gem, but it is my response that I was extremely proud of, ITS NOT MY MONEY. Even though I have managed to save it over the last few months, I saved it for a purpose, not for a few meaningless nights out, but for presents.

In my gambling days, there is no way that I would be thinking this way. I would take the money, go straight to the bookies, 90% of the time lose it all, then try to undo the impossible carnage that followed.

So, of that, I am very proud. Today is day 118 of this battle and i'm as determined as I ever have been, long may it continue.

Its also really good to see so many posters continuing the fight, i'm not a soppy git, but I would be finding it really difficult without the support of fellow CG's, so THANK YOU

Take Care

Blues

youve hit nail on head blues....sometimes we have little or nothing to say on our own diaries but a little input towards others certainly helps our own recoveries and PROUD you should be mate...118 and counting,keep it going mate,we can do this 😉

Hi Blues.. and great stuff on your 118 days.. keep going.. doing just fine 🙂

I agree with what you say. When i write to others am also reflecting on my own situation. It helps me to see that am not alone in my madness and helps me to try and not make the same mistakes that others may make. Easier said than done of course.

By the way I am a bit of a soppy git.. too soft for my own good sometimes. Am gonna try and be a bit more of a blokey bloke. Being broought up in a female dominated houeshold was my downfall lol Cheers for now.. S.A 🙂

Quite content in myself today, although two poor nights sleep last night and night before.

No gambling thoughts whatsoever, no urges and I really hope it stays this way as i'm starting to enjoy the fact that i'm not rushing around trying to cover my tracks, nipping ot for a paper just to run in the bookies place two or three bets then speed home before suspicions arise!!

At 534pm this evening, It will be 17 weeks since that horrible dark ROCK BOTTOM day on 19th August 2010, my last bet.

Take Care

Blues

Blues,

I reckon our home lives are very similar.

I too have been squeezing myself to afford presents and avoiding unnecessary nights out to make it work or impacting the household living expenses. To prove/show that I am taking this thing seriously.

My wife tries to give me breathing space and encourages me to live a bit.

To have such strong support is fantastic, and even more the reason to return this support with support of our own and sticking to what we have said we will do... not gamble.

Well done to you.

Brian

Ok, first things first, I did not gamble since my last post and today is day 123 since my last bet, but what a strange rollercaoster of a weekend it has been.

Xmas party night on Friday, started drinking at 530pm and come 4am, we were looking for somewhere to get more booze (like we needed it!!). One of the lads mentioned a private members club he knew and 100% genine, I didnt realise it was going to be a casino!

Well, we walked in there and I saw the tables etc and incredibly, considering the alcohol consumed, felt very calm. Then came the cliffhanger, they would only serve drink if a person was playing at the table. I managed to blag one drink, then they wouldnt serve me again and I knew I had to get out of there. So I walked away, no bet placed and was extremely proud.

One thing is, casinos were never really my thing, and I didnt really get an urge, I just knew that I could NOT place that first bet.

Next day I woke up pretty rough and went for a curer and I got a strong urge to put a football coupon on but again this passed.

I put myself in two situations that I really shouldnt have but am glad I came out the other side. The urge to bet on the football was way stronger than my desire to put a bet on the night before, even though that was the only way I could get a pint (and I was fairly P*ssed, I was amazed at my resolve.

Could have stayed there drinking for the night if I had bought 50 quid ofchips, but I know where that would lead....

Anyway, back on the straight and narrow now, but really cannot put myself in that situation again, because next time, I may not be as strong

Take Care

Blues

That's great stuff Blues.

Don't be hard on yourself for being put in the situation or for being tempted. You didn't gamble, that's the only thing.

I expect being in the presence of gambling lead to the football coupon urge. Keep up the vigilence in the next few days !!!

Well done again,

Brian