Regaining control after slip

Hi Tommi

Thanks - just had a listen to the song and yes, shows that we have a hell of a long way to go before we really hit rock bottom. Imagine not knowing where you are going to sleep, whether you will be mugged, stabbed when you are asleep. Waking up in the morning with no purpose and most peoplke either crossing the road or looking down their noses at you.

If nothing else, gambling has really taught me not to judge a book by its cover. I remember seeing an old man, drunk out of his mind, unshaven, shouting random things in the street a long time ago and my dad said 'you know what son, years ago he was probably the man about town, loads of friends and unfortunate twists in life have left him alone'.

Thanks for that Tommi

Well today marks a great achievement for me in Snooker terms, at 534pm it will be 147 days since I placed that last bet in that dark dingy hell hole, one of a few people in that 'shop' staring at the TV like a lemming hoping that the piece of paper in my hand could be exchanged for cash or that the few coins left in my pocket would make me back the 50k I was in debt (estimated lost at least double that!).

NO MORE GAMBLING - I f****n HATE YOU AS MUCH AS I DID 21 WEEKS AGO - How does it feel not to have such a hold over me eh? Gambling will always be in my life as I fight any urges each day, but with the help of this diary and more importantly, guts and willpower, I can do it and I know that you all can too,

Take Care

Blues

I like the fighting spirit Blues !

How true about everyone in the bookies entranced by some horse race in Dubai, or South Africa. We knew it was all rigged and that we never stood a chance but we still did it. That's the addiction for you.

It's great to have made a break from it. Keep up the high-alert and fighting spirit... every day is a day repairing the financial, emotional and family damage.

Brian

Blues,

Hope all is well with you and your family, wow mate what a tremendous achievement of 21 weeks without the evil gambling.

Good on you mate.

Not only have you consistently offered your support to people like me and have been there for us, you have fought this evil in a great way.

Your a top bloke mate, you deserve the best.

Well, strange goings on last night. No rges whatsoever leaving work yesterday, but real bad urge to place a bet on my way home - I would say possibly the strongest urge yet. I sat in my car for 10-15 minutes outside one of my haunts and fought and fought with myself. I logged on to my phone and this site and read about a few regulars who have slipped in the past few weeks and strangely it kind of made me jealous that they had fed their addiction and I hadnt fed mine!!

Thankfully, I soon copped on to myself, started the engine and drove home, but believe me this is no drama, it was as close as I have been since giving up.

Urge is very weak today, so im confident that I wont bet but that one crept up on me very very quick yesterday.

Oh to live a normal life (whatever normal is!!)

Take Care

Blues

Blues,

It would be so easy to give in and thinking it would be 'nothing' but you know that you would be disgusted with yourself. There's always the risk that it could result in another downward spiral.

Take strength from it blues and well done for being strong. If I could say one thing to you.... read your diary from the start and remember those feelings that made you want to quit and start a new life. Work hard over the next couple of days.

Be strong,

Brian

hi blues,

thanks for your posts - i am glad to say that my friend got the all clear yesterday for the dreaded big C, and although he still needs treatment, he is going to be fine.

Well done you for beating the urge to gamble yesterday - i am 9 months in, and i still have mega strong fights with myself about gambling, and just want peace from it, and to be left alone- but my addiction has other ideas.

Our lives have changed since we came onto the forum, why on earth would we even consider ruining what we have now ?? - i don't know the answer to that question, but like your goodself, i am doing my best, and giving it all i've got to stay off gambling.

6 months gamble free is your next milestone, see you when you get there.(because you WILL !!).

have a great weekend

tommi

Like tommi, I am around 9 months gamble free and this time last week, I had exactly the same urges as you had today.

We already know that they WILL keep coming back and we just need to be very strong and make the right choices.

And you DID!

WELL DONE! I am so proud of you and you should be so proud of yourself.

You KNOW that going back to gambling will NOT work!

Have a great weekend and please wallow in the pride that you have for making the right choice today. Perhaps a little treat or two as well...?!

GT

Hi Folks

Thanks for the support. Pleased to say no urges over the weekend, slight thought about gambling yesterday when one of the lads had all 4 games to finish in a draw. Even if I would have bet and won, it would be borrowed money and the start of a downward spiral, and the most suprising thing was , I actually told myself this yesterday and my mind actually accepted the message I gave to it! ha

Had a wonderful weekend actually and hope you all did to

Take Care

Blues

Blues.

Good on you. Keep up the work and good to hear that it is quiet on the urges front. You are not a gambler any more, so what other people do is their business.

A friend of mine says to me that I should follow through the thoughts... i.s. say you did bet and win the 4 draws. You would not stop there. It would go back either immediately or over the coming days, plus lots of interest usually. The only option is to see those 'missed opportunities' as reasons to celebrate you sticking to the plan.

Take it handy.

Brian

Thanks Brian, I knows it makes sense. Its not that I dont gamble anymore, I CAN'T gamble anymore, because money isnt the only thing at stake here. My family is also at stake if I ever fall back into the trap and this is what is keeping me gamble free, when I get the urge.

No urges/thoughts yetserday and enjoying the cold, crisp sunny weather. Still playing lots of football and generally enjoying life at the minute

Have a good day,

Take Care

Blues

Last Bet:19th August 2010 (534pm)

hi blues

i had a look over your diary and i feel we have some things in commen. ie i came so clouse to losing all i care for. my famley. the last time i bet i lost not just my cash but my famlay two. as my partner give in and kick me out. i sat on a brage for 2 hours. i was that clouse.

now 6 months later i am home with the people i love gambull ferr and fighting to stay that way. and it is a fight m8. a fight with you. there will be no one in frunt of you for this fight as you know. but up you gard and do not let it down. keep up the good work see you soon

itsme

some great posts there blues mate...avoiding them urges,sometimes reading of lapses i agree doesnt help but most of all realising that family can be affected by this evil...all impressive mate...keep it going,we can do this 😉

No urges today, but plenty of thinking. The actual thing that I miss is having 00's or 000's in my pocket and popping from pub to bookies and back. I actually couldnt have cared if i'd won or lost (one of my fondest memories was having 2k in my a*se pocket and being so free - although I think I lost over 1k that day). I took a half day from work, it was a cold crisp day - perfect. Strange how losing over a grand can stick as one of my most enjoyable days. AND THAT is wht I am a compulsive gambler. The winning doesnt matter, itd placing the bet that i crave - MADNESS

Anyway thought I would share this and suppose most people will be able to relate aswell. We actually gamble and dont care about the outcome - CRAZY!!

Anyway gamble free it shall remain

Take Care

Blues

Hi Blues and thanks for your support in my time of need. I surprsie myself at how quickly I am bouncing back.

I so relate to your last post.. when all is said and done its not the winning or losing its the being in ACTION that we crave. Thats the addiction. By the looks of it your doing just fine. keep going.. thanks again.. S.A 🙂