Regaining control after slip

Now that is what I really like to hear!

Normality coming back to you! Yes, those debts will still be there for a long time as in my case but like you said, they are a constant reminder that going back to that dreaded gambling world really is a no-no.

It is great when you compare where you are now to where you were 6 months ago. And I know where you certainly would like to be.

Onwards and upwards with you mate, well done, and keep up the fab work you are doing.

GT

Hi,

Another few days of non gambling and no urges whatsoever, but I will not get complacent. I am actually finding that its more of a lifestyle change, breaking the habit of hurting ourselves mentally, emotionally and financially.

As much as the debt mountain gets me down, I think gambling has had a massive effect on me emotionally. I can actually dela with having the debt, its only money and if a day comes when I can't repay my debts in full on time, there isnt much the creditors can do about it to be honest.

I struggle to accept the massive risk I was taking and could of lost my family as a result of standing in a room full of strangers, writing on a piece of paper and watching my money go down the drain. Sad sad existence.

No more though, the last 6 months have been great - initially it was so very hard to break the routine, but I am so comfortable mentally at the minute, I'm actually a little afraid. Have I really got this d**n thing beat this time? I have no urge to gamble, I know that it will be the end of family life for me if I ever do and I am not prepared to risk that.

Today is day 172 since that horrible dark day, a day when my wife was sitting at home waiting for me to come in from work and I completely destroyed her. I am working d**n hard and she says she knows I have changed and she is finally getting her husband back - GREAT - I will never compromise this ever again

Take Care and have a wonderful day

Blues

Top man blues 😉 as long as you have your barriers in place and know the consequences then you will succeed at this game...congratulations on 6 months bet free,talking of which unlucky cant be far away either..im away over to chase an update..best wishes blues,we can do this 🙂

Hi,

Delighted to say no thoughts of gambling whatsoever and really happy about that.

Now, i'm a pretty emotional fella, wear my heart on my sleeve (in a masculine kinda way lol) and I found myself watching a program last night about the predicted end of the world on 21.12.12 - as predicted by the mayan tribe or whatever they are called thousands of years ago.

Now, belive that or not, the day will come for us all at some point and I found myself going into deep thought about the people i've hurt, the things i've done, the things i've risked and actually got pretty downbeat thinking of it.

Now, my head has been in a good place for the last few weeks, but woke up this morning and that emotional strain was still there. Slowly starting to shake it off and absolutely no urges but sometimes really really wish I could turn back the clock and repair all the emotional damage I have caused others.

Well there it is, just wanted to get it down on my diary as I do read through it from time to time.

Take care and have a great day all

Blues

Blues,

How is it going fella, long time no speak, thanks for your reply on my diary mate, like you these days i am busy at work etc to update much as i used to.

6 months mate, tremendous achievement, im right behind you in that mountain fella, surely we must of climbed no. of metres now? ha ha.

Hope you have a great weekend with your loved ones, take care my friend.

hi blues,

thanks for your post - great to hear from you.

Hope you are feeling a bit happier today.

As the song goes,"regrets, i had a few" only in my case "regrets i have too many !" - it seems to me, that sadly nothing in my life was more important than gambling, nothing at all, so many friends & partners lied to, taken advantage of over the years, until one by one they were all gone.

I'd give up just about anything (not got much left to give !) as you said, to go back and change things, say things that i should have, and some that should have never been said, but sadly I can't.

what we can do, is be the type of person we want to be, there's a new chance to do it with every new day.

You are blessed, take a look around you. be proud of how you have changed - you are a special man.

take care

tommi

Just a quick update. Sadness/regretful thoughts passed eventually. Busy weekend just passed ending with a lovely day out with my daughter yesterday which she really enjoyed.

So nice to be able to do these things without that gambling cloud hanging over me, thought of 'cant believe i lost so much', 'how will i win it back', 'where will i get money from', 'wonder what score the footy is' etc.

Really enjoying life at the minute and the house is such a happy home. Wish you all a gamble free day.

For me, today is day 179 of this battle. Tomorrow will be onnneeee hundred and eeiiiiiiighty!!! (bet you all said this in your head as its written !! ha)

Have a great day

Take Care

Blues

Just wanted to document something. Someone in work was selling raffle tickets for a childrens hospital and I bought one.

The reason I bought one was because it is a good cause and with kids of my own, these things are so important.

However, I have a massive guilty feeling now over buying one (didn't occur to me at the time), because I guess it is a form of gambling (even though this wasnt my reason for buying one). I was also in an group and everyones reaction was 'thats a good cause' so it would have been difficult to explain my reasons for saying no. If I was quicker on my feet I could have said I need to get money and explained to the seller in private.

Not going to use this as a reason to go back to day one, but will tell my wife as soon as I get home.

Thanks

Blues

Hi Blues, I've been following your progress and I wanted to say a massive well done. You are doing great. I believe you did the right thing buying the raffle ticket. If you win something in the raffle, then just sell it and give the proceeds to the charity....or donate the prize back. Certainly not day one but I appreciate your honesty. Russ

Thanks Russ, good idea with any prize giving it back. As for the ticket, will give it straight to the wife when I get home and forget about it..

Take care

Blues

Well ticket given to the wife - no urges to gamble yesterday, happy with life at the minute and may even get a little holiday this year - family deserve it.

Tomorrow at 534pm, it will be a full 26 weeks / half year since placing that final bet

So happy with my progress and just need to document this massive milestone for my recovery.

take Care

Blues

No gambling yhoughts or urges - really enjoying living a normal life. I said a few private things to my wife last night and she said ;thats because you have your life back and are not trying to cover things up causing massive stress'

Thats what we are now doing folks - living our life - and it feels good

534pm today and it will be 182 days free from the demons and living the life me and my family deserve

Take Care

Blues

Hi Blues and thanks for your thoughts, they make alot of sense. Alcohol like a stepping stone to many an addictive behaviour. But like you also say once in action it doesn't matter whether one is drunk or sober the money always goes. The only solution is not to place that first bet.

Well done on your 6 months of freedom and living life. Regards.. S.A 🙂

Thanks for the posts.

Can thankfully say, nothing to report on the gambling front. Weekend passed with no intention to gamble and even bigger test came as I had quite a lot of time on my own and could easily have covered my tracks. Very, very proud of this.

It may seem like I do a lot of back slapping to myself, but i'm sure you will realise how hard it is to kick this godforsaken habit and every day I don't place a bet, is a MASSIVE achievement for me.

Hope everyone else had a smashing weekend

Take Care

Blues

Still gamble free - day 188 today - feeling good with regards to urges - few itches but nothing my mind can't handle. Trouble sleeping over the last week or so, few things (mainly debt!), on my mind - hopefully wont last long

Take Care all

Blues