Regaining control after slip

Better nights kip last night thanks god - lot of catching up to do but hopefully few hours unbroken each night.

No gambling urges, which means this is a FANTASTIC day - enjoy it everyone

Blues

190 and counting friend...i am silently following your continued excellent progress...best wishes and have a great bet free weekend 😉

Another bet free weekend passes and absolutely no urges to go back to that dark place I was in last August. Fleeting thought about the odds of the three football results yesterday, with all the underdogs winning but thats all they were, thoughts.

Today is day 193 and I feel good!

Take Care

Blues

Only good?! 193 days must make you feel brilliant.

Keep that dark day that you had in August in your mind. This will ensure that you will never, ever experience it again.

I know, as I do the same with my dark, dark day around this time last year.

GT

Blues,

193 days. !!! I knew it. Keep doing what you are doing and you will have overcome one of the most vicious addictions around. Delighted for you. All good with meself and the family too. Nine months on Wednesday. Jaysus, seems like a lifetime some days and other days something comes up that kicks you in the stones but you take it and move on knowing tomorrow is another day.

Just a flying visit and reading a few diaries that I have missed over the past couple of weeks. Take care Blues.

Brian

Today is day 197 of my new life and i'm feeling great that gambling is no longer a part of my life,

Havce a great weekend all

Take Care

Blues

Fleeting thoughts yesterday on having a football coupon this evening but thats all it was, a fleeting thought - nothing wrong with that.

I'm not sure what has changed the last 6/7 motnhs, but I used to find myself filling out docket after docket on every race (dog, horse, snail!!!). Now I just dont need it, the thought of actually walking into a bookies and placing a bet now horrifies me. Not just that one bet, but my life spiralling back to one step away from suicide!!

I'm enjoying it at the minute, have a positive outlook, more monet worries than most, but hey - pieces of paper is all it is and if I ain't got it, you cant have it!!

Today is day 201 of my beautiful new life and I intend to take this opportunity with both hands

Take Care

Blues

Made 204 days gamble free, placed two bets yesterday and three this morning

Financial implications = ZERO

Mental implications = MASSIVE

Take Care

Blues

Hi Blues, it doesn't have to be massive. Ask yourself....why did you do it? What was the trigger? What did you do different? Did you stop doing something that was working? You've flagged it....time to put all the blocks back in place and start again. It's just a hiccup on a lifetime without gambling. Russ

Yes I know what you mean.. once that first bet is made (however insignificant) it changes everything in ones headspace.. it becomes so much easier to have another bet and another and another.

But remmber its not back to the beginning. Having written about it you have now drawn a line under it and brought it to an end. You can get back on track just as i can. Regards.. S.A

Thanks Russ and SA.

Nothing really changed, was in the pub having a pint on Saturday and just said to myself I will go in and see whats on and basically placed two bets. I was only on my first pint so alcohol was not the trigger. I'm at a loss at to why I did it to be honest. What was typical was my behaviour. I actually won the two bets and walked out with mixed feelings. Firstly amazed at the fact I walked away after two bets with money in my pocket and also utter disgust that I had thrown so much hard work and effort down the pan in the space of 15-20 minutes.

I then spent the whole of Saturday evening thinking about placing 'free' bets on sunday and that what i did (3 losers incidentally).

Today is day one after this slip. I Will not be beaten by this demon

Take Care

Blues

Blues,

So sorry to hear about your slip mate, i havent been on here for ages so couldnt speak to you. Mate you have come so far since august, we started this journey together, look at this as a little trip mate, could of been worse, you havent undone all your good work.

Dont be too hard on yourself and pick up the great work from where you left off Blues.

Take care mate.

Blues,

I pass these diaries every week or so. I just saw your recent posts. Honestly speaking.... don't give yourself too hard a time. You've done no damage financially and the emotional damage is only based on how you handle it. Just don't let it start the next gambling spiral. To help you along with this, I have copied in two of your early diary entries for you to remember.

"After losing more money yesterday, I went to my first GA meeting last night. The weird thing is, that even when I was in the bookmakers, I knew I had to and wanted to attend GA yesterday evening. I told my wife of my slip yesterday evening, she is understandably upset and has told me to move out. My two children were crying and it really was one of the lowest moments of my life, made s**t by this horrible disease. There are no excuses for me, I WANT to stop, GA was the first step of a long, horrible painful road, but listening to the stories last night made me realise I am a compulsive gambling addict. I am normally a shy kind of person when it comes to public speaking, but I was asked if I wanted to share anything last night and must have spoke for 10 minutes about my journey so far. People seemed to understand and I am going to another meeting this evening to see what else I can learn from people who have BEEN THERE, DONE IT, AND LIVED TO TELL THE TALE,"

"Thanks for yor mail. I have known deep down that I have a problem for the last number of years, but yesterday, there was something different. It is as though i'm actually tired of the ducking, diving, trying to replace lost money, racking my brain etc. I long for a calm, simple life, not just for me but for my family, which they fully and wholly deserve. I went last night because I wanted to go, needed to go, for my family but also for my own sanity.

I wish you all the very best in your recovery

"

Thinking of you,

Brian

1 slip in 204 days,..you havent gone on a binge afterwards blues ? Nor have you gambled in them pre 204 days...although disappointed in yourself i would call that rapid progress in beating this illness friend...stay strong for this week,probably the most difficult of all...get through it and your well back on the way to happiness, ...best wishes to you mate 🙂

Thanks to all my old friends, your comments mean so much.

No bet yesterday and feel back on track. This week promises to be extremely hard, so plenty of late nights in work until the 'action' is over.

The more I think of the past few days events, the more comfortable I seem. Ok, so I placed a total of 5 bets, but if I can go another 204 days without placing a bet, I've come a hell of a long way.

My advice to people who slip is dont beat yourself up, so i'm going to take a spoon of my own medicine and have dusted myself down and am ready to CONTINUE the battle.

I will try and continue to offer help and support but feel slightly embarresed by doing so at this moment in time

Take Care

Blues