Trying my very hardest at the minute - day 3 today
Take Care
Blues
hang in there blues. . Its not easy. .You can do it . Keep fighting. . O d a a t 😉
Blues,
Like wp says, keep fighting. That's exactly what it is, a fight !
When I was in the throws of gambling i used find it would mask itself as a temporary thing, a bit of fun or a lifestyle choice. Absolute bol locks. It brought me years of misery and 7 years of heavy debt repayments.
Awareness of what those 'innocent' bets mean and where they will bring you are key.
I hope this helps your defences today. We're doing this with you Blues.
Brian
As always, thanks for the support folks. Very annoyed yesterday when I saw S.A. had slipped. Not annoyed at him obviously but annoyed at the grip that gambling has on ordinary, decent people.
Yesterday has passed and today is day 4 of my latest battle. This diary is so important to me at this present time and thanks for all your support.
One day at a time and Brian, yo are right, placing a bet is far from fun, because we all know where it will end up - EVERY TIME! We may glide along for 2 or 3 months and then BANG, run out of cash, start ducking and dodging our responsibilities, thinking of nothing else but playing that first bet.
I went into an old haunt last week (the same one I commented on earlier in my diary and the same one I was in on August 19th last year), sadly it was as though I was never away!
One of the fellas in there said 'I havent seen you in months' my reply was 'ah i've been busy', then we proceeded to chat as if it was yesterday. The only thing we have in common WAS gambling - I woldnt know this fella from Adam other than standing next to him in the bookies!
MADNESS - day 4 has commenced!
Take Care
Blues
Hi Blues.. thanks for your support and kind comments. I relate to your thoughts. On Sunday i went into a gambling hell hole I han't been in for the best part of a decade and found myself gambling on the very same machines that i gambled on back then. I even recognised one of the faces. Astonishing after all this time. Like you say its as if the time in between hasn't happened.
Ive been around this forum for years now and what I see is that whatever any of us gamble on, if we go back back to it.. we ultimately end up back at what bought us to this forum in the first place.. its just a question of time. For me it tends to be straight away. I binge and do alot of money very quickly. For others its a bit more insidious and it takes a few weeks or a few months for the full consequnces to re-appear... but re-appear they do.
Keep fighting the good fight my friend as i do the same. I will never stop trying to stop and stay stopped. what is the alternative.. prison, insanity or death! ... now theresa sobering thought. regards.. S.A
Day 5 today - very very hard on the drive home yesterday. My car is running on fumes at the minute and I had £6 leaving work yesterday. I have a small tin which (when i'm not gambling!) I put my loose change in - knowing that I need fuel for my car until I get paid tomorrow, I took the small bit of change in the tin and put it into one of those coin counting / changing machines and got a grand total of £9.09 back, leaving me with £15.09 in my pocket.
What happened then is no suprise at all, my head was telling me - pop into the bookies, even money shot - £30 in your pocket, £20 in the car and a tenner to treat yourself to a few cans - holy jesus, which part of I CAN NEVER PLACE A BET CASUALLY do I not understand?
Anyway, drove home almost in a trance fighting with myself - didnt once drive into a garage forecourt, but drove into two car parks with bookies close by!!!!!!!!
Anyway, came to my senses and drove home. Woke up this morning with the original £15.09 in my wallet. I obviously have to really get back to basics - £2 per day does me in work so thats what I will be leaving the house with. If there is a sponsor or something at work, they will have to wait until the following day.
I was asked yesterday, why I dont do sweepstakes/fantasy football competitions in work, normally I would lie and say "I do loads outside of work and never win anyway", but I just said "I dont do those things anymore". I'm tired of lying, ducking, cheating to people - everyone. I have a problem and if I was addicted to alcohol, there weould be people there to help, Gambling - oh no thats a taboo
Anyway, day 6 today, I hope you all have an urge free day
Take Care
Blues
Hey well done Blues. I can just imagine the internal struggle going on as you drove home. I know what its like to literally be down to counting the pennies with x amount of days to next pay day and then the gambling head reminds you of times where you pulled the rabbit out of the hat. Its a cruel addiction thats for sure. Keep fighting the good fight.
As you know with time and patience fraught life situations do change. I am talking to myself here just as much as to you. Regards.. S.A
Thanks SA. You hit the nail on the head, time and patience. I guess its the impatience that makes us want to rectify everything today. When I am not gambling, its as though I want to pay all my debts back today, make up to the people i have hurt, today. Yes, time is a great healer and I have come to realise this - things will work out in the end, but not if we continue throwing money away.
Less of a struggle yesterday but still very strong thoughts about placing a bet. Treated myself to a few beers to watch Wimbledon yesterday and really enjoyed the relaxation (better than running from bookie to pub to bank machine spending my families cash!)
Anyway another day ahead - may you all remain urge free
Take Care
Blues
No urges yesterday, but know that they will come, at varying strengths and have to keep on my guard at all times.
Hope to have a short term solution to my financial problem later today and am determined to give myself the best possible chance at recovery (AGAIN!).
Today is day 7 for me on this latest battle - onwards and upwards
Take Care
Blues
Blues,
Well done to you. Hopefully you have stopped the downward spiral in the nick of time.
Keep it up mate,
Brian
hi blues,
i've been away from the forum for a few months, and wanted to say hello again.
sorry to read that you have had trouble recently - but glad to read you are ready to fight again for the life you deserve.
It can get better - you have to want a decent life, MORE than you want to gamble - i know from first hand experience how hard that can be - but you can do it.
have a great weekend, hopefully spending quality time with your family.
take care
tommi
You are so right, blues, we simply cannot enjoy betting casually ever again.
Once you fall into the unfortunate route of gambling beyond your means, there really is only one option.
Never, ever place a bet again!
Enjoy your weekend and keep those evil gambling urges at bay!
GT
Hey blues,
I know what you mean about casual betting, its a slippery slope, and once I started I had to get to the bottom before starting to climb back up again, and its simply not something I want to do again.
Chin up, and keep doing the things we know are right and avoid the gambling opportunities. I know you can keep avoiding even the little bets that trigger the urge.
All the best
Ryan
Hey Blues.. thanks for your support mate. Keep fighting the good fight.. S.A 🙂
well made an outstanding 13 days, then blew it again yesterday - wife and kids are away for a week or so and the temptation got me AGAIN - is there any point in continuing to fight something that can just knock you out when it feels like it? I'm not so sure anymore
Take Care
Blues
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