Regaining control after slip

Blues,

It is sad to hear that things have gone quiet. Hope you get back to this forum as it worked for you before.

Brian

Well what a disaster - I have 9 days to find a grand to save my marriage and stop wrecking the family home completely. The story is typical - small bets and then BANG - culmunating in my last amount of money on the gold cup and watching as my horse didnt even complete the first circuit - numb feeling and it hasnt got any better. I wont get the money, ive accepted that - cant belive this time next week, I will be homeless and without my precious family. My wife doesnt see it as an illness, its just selfish behaviour and I agree in oart but I dont choose to do it, it takes over.

Anyway, i'm back, but I feel my troubles go far deeper than what this forum can offer

Take Care

Blues

Thanks blues 4 ur post on my diary gud advice mate i do sumtimes forget its a day at a time just. Sorry 2 hear of ur slip and hope you get something sorted 4 next week f**k its not easy but as you said theres no way were going to let it beat us f**k that what dosent kill us makes us stronger. Really hope you get something sorted mate

Hi Blues... sorry to hear that your back in the proverbial s**t. Its the first bet that does the damage. We have no off switch. We have no self-control once in action. Make this your rock bottom mate.. get back to not gambling. Life gets better with time and patience.. you know this to be true... so do I. Onwards and upwards.. S.A

Hi Folks,

Thanks for your support Ronnie and my long time support, S.A.

Things a little clearer today from a head wrecking perspective - still counting down to d day when I will probably need to confess, as the amount of cash is substantial. The main thing is I know I cant gamble as it will only get worse and i'm going to get the head down for the next few months and attempt to repair the things this disease has caused me to damage - Trust, Love, Appearence, Health, Weight, Work, Desire.

Onto day 2 without a bet - I had a last gamble on Monday out of desperation - was never going to win but it was my last 20 and I said to myself I need to try to save everything and if this comes off I have escaped by the skin of my teeth. Would I have stopped had I won? Yes i'm pretty sure I would as there was absolutely no pleasure in placing the bet or waiting for the result. The last time I felt this way, I managed 204 days clean - but words are easy - actions are what counts

Take Care

Blues

Most important letters I will type-NO BET YESTERDAY-onto day 3 today and there is a glimmer of hope that I can get the money together by next week-Prayers are the only thing to save me now I think-I personally hate gambling (even when I am betting) and think I am actually a danger now because even though Im a placid person, I found myself getting so angry and potentially physically aggresive last week - that is not rational because someone else is cheering on a winner or celebrating your misfortune-need to stay stopped and reap the benefits

Take Care

Blues

Hi,

Another day passes with no bet - how good does that feel? I had some urges yesterday, but did not act on them - I just have to get through one hour at a time at the minute and that is working for me, as it has in the past.

I should find out over ther next day or two if I can be bailed out of my latest financial mess - praying the news will be positive.

Today I go into day 4, feeling a lot stronger than yesterday and am currently comfortable in the knowledge that I can manage a bet free day today. My family are so important to me and I need to do this for them but, firstly, for ME! I dont want to go through life in the emotional mess i have to go through every 2 or 3 weeks when i gamble, lying, covering tracks, shifiting money, not eating etc - I want MY LIFE BACK.

Even found myself singing along to the radio this morning and thought WOW WHATS THIS, A HAPPY BLUES?

Take Care

Blues

Jeez mate,

Sorry to hear of your recent woes but equally pleased to see you back determined as ever to kick this habit.

Just remember that we are all one tiny, tiny bet away from disaster.

As we all know what that tiny bet WILL lead to.

All the very best,

GT

Gambled again yesterday-need to get my head down or else i will lose it all-currently can just scrape through this but this is the strongest mix of urges to gamble/couldnt care less that I have EVER had, I can honestly say that - just for today I will TRY not to gamble

Take Care

Blues

Sometimes this addiction clouds our judgement. We think we can have a bet when we know that it could cost us everything we have. Unfortunately there is a yard full of broken families that will testify to the cost of this addiction.

That last mail by you was pure addiction talking. Recognise it blues. Don't regret these choices you are making as they will backfire eventually when it all comes out. This addiction spirals downwards for EVERYONE.

Use the diary to get it out of your system. Write the good stuff and the bad stuff. Get it out.

When the thought of "f**k it, lets have a fun bet. What harm could it do" comes into my head, I just remember the promise I made to my son and daughter. They might not have heard me or understood me but it is a contract that I will defend with all my strength. I can't guarantee it, but it works for me today. Why not create a similar unbreakable promise ?

Brian

Brian

Thanks for taking the time to reply-I really need support at this time.

I am currently on a knife edge in terms of debt-I think I can just about get through with 3 or 4 months of hardship but my addictive mind is telling me that with one big win, I could be back to a comfortable position. However, I also need to realise that in the event of winning, I will definately A) Give most if not all of it back and b) probably wont win and will end up finished.

I'm currently getting by an hour at a time, my mind giving me massive mixed messages - I just need to get out of work and home in one piece, for today, that is all I need to achieve

Take Care

Blues

Blues,

Rise to the challenge. Gambling is risking taking your family off you.

If someone stopped you on the street and mugged you and threatened your family you would go nuts wouldn't you? This is what those bookies are doing.

An hour at a time is fine. Take it to 5 mins at a time if needs be. Don't think about tomorrow, just the next 5 minutes. The world will not end in the next 5 minutes if not gambling is all you achieve in that time.

Brian

Take it one day at a time, mate, and even less if you need to.

There are brighter days ahead of you as long as you keep well away from the hell-hole which we call gambling.

GT

Hi Blues... dig deep my friend, dig deep. Like others of said, foucs on the here and now and not gambling in the here and now.. thats all that matters.

I know that for me when i am under alot of pressure and stress if I were to start gambling I just wouldn't stop, cos when am in the act of gambling I have freedom from pressure and stress. I think what i am trying to say is that even if you did get a sizeable win its highly unlikely that you would stop and even if you did walk out.. you know yourself that you would be back.. to win just a bit more. Force yourself to play the tape forward in your own mind... win or lose the money always goes, together with ones peace of mind.

Keep posting.. S.A

Day 3 - its not easy but i have to make the right decisions.

By NOT Gambling - finances will be extremely difficult for next 4 months and life will be empty and unfulfilling

By Gambling-finances may improve/or may not in the short term, but 4 months down the line-no home, no wife, children in a broken home, job at risk, more debt

Todays choice is not to gamble

Take Care

Blues