I am in my early twenties and have gambled since I started using Saturdays as my gambling day with the boys. I would have everyone around, use my fake ID, go into the local bookies at 16 putting 10p, 20p and 50p (if I felt brave) accumulators on. This was shortly after my mum had left the family home and I was dealing with my depression father who had an alcohol problem. I found gambling my realise, I deserved it right??
Over the years I had gone from earning £30 a week to having a very good sales job which now pays me around 45/50K. Sales is not a million miles away from gambling, targets, pressured environments and taking small risks to get bigger rewards. I do however, love my job.
The only similarity is when I earned £30 a week and now £1000 a week...I still have the same amount of money by payday £0. I had someone amassed a debt of a few grand in overdrafts despite earning a lot more than I needed to live.
3/4 months ago I stopped gambling, cleared my debts and started planning for life. Spending more time with my girlfriend and ok up golf. I thought that was it...easy...addiction beaten. Then my friend and I went casino...I was watching...everyone knows where this leads. I walked out £1200 up that night. Lost it all within a few days and then back into debt chasing my loses. My savings gone.
1st September I stopped for good. I as someone put it on here at the time has "cashed out" time to move on. Put my salary and bonus back into savings and moving on with life. I am finding it all too easy, but I am very aware that it will always be something I live with and that is why I have decided to start my diary. Day 44. Done dusted.
Gambling took me to a very dark place, suicide thoughts, running away from life and starting a fresh elsewhere, leaving my job and giving...what was the point in working in the bright lights of the city when it was all to be gambled away on my phone.
Anyways, I wanted to say thank you to everyone on here, it's not just the people that reply and post but people like me that have read on a daily basis. You are all an inspiration. Keep battling on. We can get there
Onwards and upwards.
Hanz.
Thanks hanz for your post, it's the best thing about this site getting such support and encouragement. Great to have you on the thread I hope it can help you and give you that extra focus if things get tough. It'll be a great way to end the year and start the next so I look forward to the next few months.
Well done on getting to 44 days you say it's been fairly easy so far and that's great, long may that continue but just keep your guard up and don't let any complacency set in cos you do not want to go back to gambling that world offers nothing, well it offers stress debts worry panic and a whole load of other cr** that we could all do without. Anyway enough rambling from me lol. Take care and great to have you on the thread can't wait for it to start.
Hello Hanz,
I think what makes the difference is the admission we have a problem and we really want to stop.
You seem to be in the same place as myself at the moment and whilst I know this will be a long, hard road to recovery we have to celebrate every positive step we take.
I thought by asking somebody else to take control of my finances I had lost control and felt undermined untill it was pointed out to me that by doing this I had actually taken a positive step to regain conrtrol.
I wish you the very best on your recovery, I have started attending GA meetings which I so regret having not done earlier, again that is not something to dwell on but to focus on the here and now, i am not sure if you have attended a meeting but believe me after one meeting the desire to stop is even more powerful.
I wish you well and well done on getting to day 44.
Hope x
Thank you both for the reply. Dave I am looking forward to the journey to Xmas and beyond to continue this journey.
Hopeless I have yet to attend a GA. I'm using this site as my main influence at the moment and it is working great thanks to people like you replying and helping.
I am using an app that counts my minutes, hours and days. I have found this really useful as a constant reminder of the progress done. Onwards and upwards 45 days done and dusted I'm off to play some football and get my fitness back. This beats a life of staring at my phone day/night betting on everything that moves!
So happy for you! Just want to say that I wish I had started dealing with my demons when I was your age. I really admire that and see a great life ahead for you! Keep it up.
Good luck, days will become months and months will become years if you apply yourself well enough. I'm certain you will continue to progress
Keep at it, happiness is there to be achieved
Hi, just wanted to say well done on your progress. Good luck and keep posting!
Thank you all for helping me start my diary. I truly mean it when I say you are all helping me change my life for the better...but not only mine but my family and girlfriends as well. I hope you are all joining in daves post taking us all through to the end of January!
Onwards and upwards to better life.
Hanz.
Hello again Hanz,
I think it is great that you sound so positive, I too was of the opinion I did not need any help from GA, Counselling, CBT etc and thought I would be able to control things with this site alone. For me that was not the case as I was not totally honest with myself that I was ready to stop.
Just remember the person doing all this good work to stop is you, you are the most important person in all of this and you have very strong driving factors i.e. your girlfriend and family. Keep that positivity going and you will most definitely succeed to a better life free of this vile addiction. Remember and do all of the practical things that all of us CG's need to do to help in our recovery i.e. blocking sites, handing over finances, exclusion, accepting support and most of all belief that our goal to stop is achievable.
I will follow your thread and wish you every success.
My best wishes
Hope x
Another day done. I had a nice evening out watching a comedian with my gf. Cost me much less than the siZe of my average daily gamble amount.
Amazing how much I lost the value of money previously. I'd drop money on the floor and wouldn't pick it up....I'll win it back wouldn't i? Im the lucky one. Of course I wasn't.
What a great world we live in without gambling.
Onwards and upwards
Hanz
45 Days. Smashes roll on 46, 47, 48, 49 and 50!
Another day done. I had a nice evening out watching a comedian with my gf. Cost me much less than the siZe of my average daily gamble amount.
Amazing how much I lost the value of money previously. I'd drop money on the floor and wouldn't pick it up....I'll win it back wouldn't i? Im the lucky one. Of course I wasn't.
What a great world we live in without gambling.
Onwards and upwards
Hanz
45 Days. Smashes roll on 46, 47, 48, 49 and 50!
Another day done. A small urge as I walked past a bookies. But used the TV averts they use as my trigger to squash the urge. I work in advertising so I know how much these bookmakers spend on TV....it was people like me finding that. Not anymore!
Onwards and upwards. 47 days. Smashed.
Nearing the end to another day but a night out tonight will raise a few challenges. I couple of my friends enjoy ending the night in the casino and a couple of bets in the bookies next to the pub. I'll avoid these tonight because if I gamble I can not stop. Today I shall not gamble
Had a good beer with a good mate. Shared my story and how I ended up posting on here. Isn't it strange, when you first join the site for me I thought I would be different or "better " than the addicts on here. Turns out everyone is the same, normal people with a determination to improve life.
Anyways, made it through yesterday easy enough and off to do day 48 today. It's a Saturday and this brings and a whole wealth of challenges with plenty of money sitting in the bank now and a day planned watching the results in the pub next to the bookies.
I will not gamble today though, because if I gamble I can not stop.
Have a good day all.
Hanz
Thank you hanz for my post.
I am so glad you resisted the urges this week, keep up that great work you are doing.
It makes it more difficult to resist when others around us have no idea of the challenges we are facing. I have just had to decline a Christmas night out with work because it involves going to a casino, but do you what, I am have probably just saved myself £1000 as it would cost £100 for meal, drinks and transport and £900+ I would probably have put into the slot machines so already yes I feel great.
Somebody once said "After we have gambled what we can afford, we continue to gamble for what we once had", - how true that is.
No more chasing the lossess, just remember we dont get any pleasure out of this just pain and heartache.
Enjoy today and please write tonight that you have succeeded to day 49.
Well done again and dont forget the crucial"moment" when we can make a spit second decision to choose the good, happy peaceful route or the devastatingly destructive one.
My best wishes again
Hope x
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