Regrets, I've had a few, but then again....

Hi Ryan and glad things are going well for you and your getting as much work as you want. It must feel good to be paying off your credit card and not squandering your money with gambling.

Good stuff on the golf. I played golf once. I couldn't get the d**n thing to go in the air! lol

Regards... S.A

Hiya Ryan,

Whoop whoop my fighter is always in a front line 🙂 well done on your continued abstinence and b proud!!! Work eh? I really hope you will get ur well deserved rest soon , thank you for your kind wishes on my diary, I do enjoy my holiday indeed. Not as much sleep yet lol,, but hey I've got some hours to beat uptil Friday lol 🙂

Keep posting, stay safe and keep fightingvthe good fight!!

Sandra x

P.s. Golf??? I only drive one lol

Hah, the golf was fun, though I lost three balls to the water and was 20 shots behind the eventual winner!

Coming up to my half year marker, and there's a Saturday out with the work folks coming up, so I've put a few quid of my bonus to one side to get a drink or two. Of course there's ups and downs to not gambling, same as in everything else in life. But on the whole its more ups than when I was gambling and less downs. 178 days since I last threw money to the opportunists.

Sandra - I'd love to have a Golf again, couldn't afford one when it came to buying my last car a few years ago...so now I drive a tin can with an Aygo engine. 🙁

Ryan

Hey Ryan,

Great post to read, and you should be sooo proud of yourself!! Up and down days is something we have to deal with we hav addiction or not, there is always the light at the end of the tunnel 🙂

Thank you for your support, really appreciated, shoulder to shoulder dear fighter,never give up, upwards we go 🙂

Take care and hav a fantastic coming weekend!!

Sandra x

Hi Ryan

178 days is amazing mate. You should be very proud of that and not forget the difficult journey you've been on.

Thanks for the post on my diary, I also love to laugh at the attempts these companies use to try and haul you back in. It seems funny how they all stop after you self exclude but then 3-6 months down the line they start up again! Evil or what.

Anyway, keep up the great work and keep smiling

Jimbo

Work is madness as usual, but still no gambling and apart from the occasional wisp of temptation that is quickly stamped out, not really much to report. It's Friday, the sun is shining, and after work tonight I'm taking calls for Sports Relief, and no doubt being relieved of a quid or two for charity in the process. After what my money has been spent on over recent years, I don't think I can begrudge that!

Moods are up and down as usual, and I still have the days where I think my head is either wired differently or just broken on a basic level, but hey ho, all we can do is get on and face things as best we can.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend, gamble-free and full of the other more exciting distractions of Spring.

Ryan

Hi Ryan... You mentioned on my diary about anti-depressants. All I can say is that they are helping me. I spent years thinking that I didn't need any pills for anything but in reality they do seem to help. So now I take the philosophy of whatever works keep doing it or using it. Its like my diary, it helps and like running, it helps... so I keep doing these things. Simples!

Like you say all we can do is face things as best we can and use whatever support helps. Regards... S.A 🙂

Passed through the six month barrier yesterday, and had a fun day getting royally drunk with the guys from work, and naturally dancing like a fool. I guess it is a reasonable time to reflect, and although I was feeling fragile for much of the day, I still think it was worth it.

So, six months without gambling has seen my debts reduce a fair bit, and being able to enjoy a treat like last night is certainly not something I'd have been able to do if I was still feeding my card details into those casino sites. I'm not sure if I'm healthier physically, but mentally I am a lot more balanced, although there are still fairly big peaks and troughs.

I've got a job interview for a mini promotion in work next Friday, so I'm going to have to dig out a shirt and tie, which is definitely not my favourite attire, more comfy in a hoody and jeans.

As for the anti-depressants, I'm still thinking on that one and trying to figure out if its something I want to try.

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Ryan

Hey Ryan 🙂

How come I missed ur half a year milestone??? Apologies lol, I do seem to skip few days on here now and again 🙂 Absolutely fantastic achievement my friend, you give so much to this site while ur a battling ur own battles. Its always nice to see you posting and ur support is always appreciated....so just thank you 🙂 Very well done Ryan, keep going, never look back only ahead. You are doing it and should be proud!!!

As of fools day lol lol....plz do not start 🙂 but as you said...it's better to fool someone (lightly lol) than get fooled by evil habit ourselves.

Great to hear from you, and keep it up 😉

Day at a time

S x

Evening all,

Feeling mildly optimistic tonight, interview went well, work is crazy busy as it has been for the last three months, and I'm enjoying sitting down with a beer and just catching up on some TV. Working Sat and Sun this weekend, so looking forward to Monday and Tuesday off.

No thoughts of gambling (where the heck did I used to find time to gamble???) and we're into day 189 without gambling. And I hate to tempt fate, but I'm pretty confident it will be a wonderful gamble free day.

Hope everyone's weekends go well, without the spectre of gambling over the shoulder.

Ryan

Time, that elusive trickster plays its cards once again. A whole week gone by, and I've not had time to think. Balancing freelance work, actual work, an interview and sleep seems to be quite the challenge.

There are so many things to do, and so little time to squeeze them all in. Another week working Saturday and Sunday shifts, so no days off till Monday, and the demand for my freelance services means both days are already pretty full.

The bi-polar part of me told me to try and take a gamble this evening. Once again, with the end of the journey to pay off debt coming into sight, the demons are back again. I'm not giving in, but equally, quitting gambling doesn't fix the shorted wires inside my head. It stops them from going for the full self-destruct, but it doesn't stop them from making me doubt myself, hate myself and at times wish something would come along and wipe my memory. My registry is corrupted, I'm almost certain I need a full reformat.

Ach, I quit the self-pitying whining there, my inner wuss could go on all night.

Hope everyone has a great weekend,

Ryan

Hi Ryan

First of all a big congratulations m8 on passing the half year mark.

Sounds like you are really busy.

I read you wondered how you had the time to gamble before kid.Well you know we sometimes made that time by ignoring the more important thing we had to do.

Its great to see you are coming to the end of your debts,then you can treat yourself in some way m8.you deserve it.I treat myself almost every week these days im off to watch city later(although its heart attack material lately lol).I will probably watch the national if its on in the pub but only for the spectacle that it is and without a bet.lets face it none of us on this forum were any good at gambling anyway or it wouldnt be a problem for us.lol.i cant cut sport out of my life because i dont gamble.I love watching any football,but i do enjoy it a lot more without tracking a certain player to score first or counting the goals.Try to make a bit of time for yourself m8 (just like you did when you wanted to gamble).Life isnt just all about work.the problem is when you work the weekend you dont mix with your mates and while you are off monday ,they are back at work.

No need to doubt or hate yourself kid,remember today is the first day of the rest of your life.Stay strong Jeff.

Hey Ryan,

Thanx for coming by the other day, and you sound so busy!! It is good in a way ( if not overreacting ). Make sure u look after yourself too, get all the rest possible.

Great stuff on g free time, b proud and keep fighting the good fight 🙂

Speak soon

Take care

S x

Ryan

fella Jeff said it all really, being kind to yourself is the one sure thing to get the monkey off your back so to speak.

I love the glass half full mantra in life,that way I get to see addiction drowning in it's own dribble, fading into the distance, yes it is still there,f**k it always will be but today I hold the reins,I am in charge of my destiny.

Fella you are too.

Hope the interview gifts you what you want.

Thanks for popping by my thread, my Joe has worked with Mr Pip and his sidekick Dan at camp bestival and bestival the past couple of years.

The fella is top draw!! oh as is my boy, his gift to himself is to do something with his life that he loves wholeheartedly, a rare gift in life.

Keep making the right choice

Duncs stepping forward never back

Well, got some good news on the work front today. The job I'd applied for was a six month secondment, and they were impressed enough with the interview to offer the job on a permanent basis. Turning on the charm offensive in the interview was a successful ploy, obviously. I can't help but think that it was maybe the charming lying gambler in me that was that charming and amusing personality at the interview.

Ah heck, I'm taking that victory on the chin. I've had plenty of losses to get over after all. Hard not to feel good today, and having a wee drink and catching up on some television while I'm at it. Hope everyone's week has started reasonably.

198 days on the clock and no gambling. d**n that's progress!

Ryan