Regrets, I've had a few, but then again....

Ryan

fella thanks for the kind words upon my thread,I am truly humbled by what you write.

Today this forum has a profound effect upon my life,it really does help in gifting my resolve through my therapy of writing to continue making the right choice.

I fully understand the value of it,folk like your good self gift unconditionally

For it I thank you.

Keep writing and making the right choice

P.s the football was in my mind always going to be a tactical affair last night,funny because Mr Moriniho knocked the west hams negative play only to field a team intent on not making a shot for themselves!!

Funny how the words come back to haunt him,still tonights game I hope will be a better one,and of course the darts tomorrow the highlight of my sporting week,the averages continue to astound me!! if only lol!!

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi Ryan,

Thanks for your post on my diary. First of all, well done on reaching over 200 days gamble free, you'll soon be hitting that year again. I really like your positive attitude in the few posts I have read and intend to read your whole diary when I get a bit more time.

All the best,

Scambling

This rollercoaster is going into steep downhill at the moment, just feel like questioning everything I'm doing with my life. Why? What's the point? Survival, is that all this is? Just had two pretty depressing days, maybe it just overwork though, as I'm trying to clear all my freelance work to take 3 1/2 days off next week.

No work at all for that period of time is probably the longest this year, and I wonder what will surface then. Good vibes? More depressing thoughts? Gambling has entered my mind, but I know that route is the most depressing of all. Last day in the office tomorrow, and then writing and editing on Sunday, and then the lull will come.

Feeling like a proper miserable so-n-so tonight, and having to try and put together a cheerful front for the work folks didn't help! Ah well, it'll be brighter round the next corner I'm sure.

Ryan

Morning Ryan

Hang in there through your own experience you know it will get better the not so good days we just have to battle through , you did the right thing though writing it down In your diary , I hope you feel the benefits this morning

Castle2

Hi mate Ryan,

Sometimes it is exactly what we need to keep ourselves going, feeling a bit sorry for ourself and painting things black, complaining about life and work.

As long as it leads us in the right direction and we understand that gambling is not the answer to our problems, it's ok. And we will get over it.

Stay strong mate

Wolfgang

Ryan

Fella I wrote on the honourable SA's thread recently that for us having a day where we don't give in to our addiction is 'enough'

Don't be too hard on yourself my friend,f**k addiction loves that,it creeps in under the door you shut.

'those promises of good times whispered into your ears,sweet nothings about how live is treating you harshly,so why not treat yourself to a punt!!'

Truth for me is the punt is the last thing you need,what you need is the break you work hard for,the point is you are moving on to new beginings,your gamble free time granted you the opportunity.

Fill that glass up again my friend,half empty life always looks worse.

You are doing something amazing,yes the results are not the instant one's addiction wants,but the good in my eyes outweighs the sh#ite.

Keep making the right choice

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi Ryan,

As well as fellow comrades I'm here by your side and always listening. Do relate to your recent feelings and willing you on more than ever to push through.Funny enough i was just reading one of your posts to me from last year, it had a video on it and i even had a tear rolling down because it rang so much true about life.Roller coaster ride can be sickening, but my friend after every downfall we do get back up. Don't give in to the dark thoughts, stay strong and keep kicking this b*****d addiction t the nuts!

Some time off work is necessary. You need that time for yourself.Rest is something keeping us ticking and if things looks pretty dull at the moment, I'm sure you will see bright side of it all. Step back, breathe and look around. There is so much to look forward to. Future is mistery but we are the artists creating that masterpiece.

Take care, stay strong, believe and keep fighting the good fight!! Here and always alongside you my friend

Look forward to hear from you soon

Sandra x

What a big old drama queen moment that was! Today is feeling much better, work done until Thursday, and a bit of freelance work tomorrow and I am free to do what I please. Thanks for the support guys, Sandra, as you said it just takes time to step back, breathe and take a good look around. It ain't brilliant, but there's a lot more than I see when I'm on a downer.

As for the gambling, I'm quoting my old friends the Eels:

Every time I find myself in this old bind

Watching the death of my hopes.

In the ring so long gonna prove them wrong

I'm not knocked out, but I'm on the ropes.

I've got enough fight left inside this tired heart

To win this one and walk out on my feet,

No retreat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXbFcdKGAFs

I went to the concert in Birmingham, though it was on the same tour. One of their quieter more contemplative songs, but one of my faves.

Ah well, on to the future, which hopefully will have less whining and more optimism!

All the best

Ryan

Hi Ryan

Thanks for the post on my diary....I can't tell you how much it meant to get your supportive comment. Keep being strong

Mo

hey Ryan

glad to see you are hanging in there. Hope you have a good week. Stu.

Morning guys,

Another few days off, and I have to say I feel as though I've benefited from having some time where I've not been doing any work. In fact, I've not been doing much of anything, just playing computer games, watching TV and enjoying the sunshine when it's reared its bright head. Idle time used to be gambling time, and although it still has its ups and downs, this is definitely no longer the case.

Grey skies overhead this morning, but just weather wise, I'm back to that optimistic fool who still thinks that things ain't too bad. Most of the time he's right. 221 days gamble free. I may not have completely defeated the demons yet, but today I might just think I'm going in the right direction.

All the best

Ryan

Ryan 221 days wow well done, thats a stick in the eye of that addiction , thanks for your comment I like your phrase about being an experienced hiker on a gamble free path , onwards and upwards , thanks simon

Hi Ryan,

Well, took some time to come back to you, but as always thank you so much for the support.

Hope you are feeling well, staying strong and fighting the good fight

Opportunities are endless in this crazy world, hope you will find your way to pure peace and happiness. ..of course you will 😉

Take care my friend

S x

Hi folks,

Not been on in over a week, but no slips or stumbles, just an overwhelming amount of work that sees me stumble into bed tired at night, and getting up the next day feeling much the same way. Taking an afternoon and night off tonight, so hoping to get some R&R in and going to watch some sport, films and maybe make something nice to eat.

It's been an up and down old week, having just taken on a new role at work, and at times I've felt out of my depth, and others I'm thinking that everyone else there is out of their depth too. Been thinking a lot about family, I've known for quite some time that a family of my own would never be something that came my way, but there are plenty of other things to enjoy in this life. At times I long to ramble the world, exploring new places and sights, others I would just like a house in the country and a few dogs, with plenty of open spaces.

Either way, this path I'm on now is towards a better version of my life, one where gambling has no role to play, and my money is actually my money. I may slip or stumble, but I'm determined that not even the biggest low will send me back to this particular vice.

I hope everyone's having a good weekend, and are either in a positive place or getting there without a gamble.

Ryan

231 days

Hey Ryan,

Good to hear from you and thank you very much for your ongoing support. I'm pleased to read you managed to get some R&R time. We all need it to keep the right balance with ourselves.

Well done on your continuos fight against evil habit. Way to go!!!

Follow your dreams Ryan, there is defo nothing to lose doing that. I know you will get where you want to be, the strength, belief and courage shines through your posts and I'm very pleased for you. Just do it my friend, it might take some time and patience but you are there half way through :-)))

Keep up the good work and have some lovely relaxing time tonight.

Take care

Sandra x