Regrets, I've had a few, but then again....

Thanks Julie,

I seem to have found a little insomniacs club here around 3am last night! I was somewhere between wired about my mum getting the good news and frustrated and annoyed at work. No crisps and scotch eggs, but giving myself a few beers as a treat tonight, nothing silly just a little taste.

Had a weird little ten second urge to gamble earlier. I don't know why it happened, and I didn't even get anywhere near placing a bet, but it was just a strange ten seconds before my brain stamped it out just like it should do. I guess being a sports fanatic games and so on are just ticking along in the back of my mind.

My guard is definitely not coming down, and this weekened is going to be just as gamble free as so many recent weekends have been.

Ryan

Yo yo!!

Guys, having a party and i'm not invited lol lol!!

Well done Ryan, keep stamping on that ugly urges head ...i have a little jump in the air for u too :-))

Well done, be proud Ryan...and yeah...have that well needed sleep 😉

S x

112 days in, and I must admit I'm absolutely antsy at the moment. My team West Ham are going in to the last few minutes a goal ahead against Cardiff. One think that I've found since I've not gambled is that I've been able to pay more attention to my team again, and not worrying about whether some club I don't usually care about grab a goal to bring my accumulator back into things. It's nice to be able to enjoy the sport for the fact that it's sport, and not the gambling repercussions.

This post has filled a few minutes, West Ham just a little closer to that win. Did I mention we're down to ten men?

All the best

Ryan

Well done Ryan on your 112 days you should be proud of yourself. Your so right you see sport differently when your not gambling. You enjoy it an see what's happening in the game. Nice too see your team won 2 nil today great performance an down too 10 men just takes that bit of fight. We just have too stay focused an strong

Good luck ally

Hi Ryan... 112 days, good stuff.. regards... S.A

Hey Ryan,

Thank you for your kind words this morning 😉

I suppose i come across like a right "bully " and trouble maker at work lol...nah, it's not the case...i just do my job and ..well yea...occasionally step in the situations if it gets out of control ...but most annoying thing is, then some stuff is being fired at me, when i'm nothing to do with it..if it makes sense..

Some ppl trying to pick on me lol..maybe couse they know i will not let anyone to walk over me and always stand my ground!!...many ppl don't like strong characters lol

Happy days lol..

Good stuff on ur g free time..keep it up and be proud!!

Day at a time

Sandra x

Ryan

Up the hammers!! Good to see Carroll make a return to football, I wonder if he will find his shooting boots for Brazil??

Great to read that your enjoying sport for what it is fella,a true reward of recovery.

Me I am a pompey fan man and boy, and I love watching any football these days, take today just seen an 8 goal thriller, cheered them all in, the result really unimportant.

Funny my club sit at the bottom of the football league almost and it seems the common factor in English football is the terrible defending throughout. Great to watch even more so today without the angst gambling reaped.

The gift of recovery.

It keeps giving.

Keep up the great work my friend.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hey Ryan,

Thank you so much for your post. :-))

I used to do 2-10 shifts for 4 years, and it wasn't as bad as now, but still I used to miss daylight. The thing now, it's just too stressful and so much pressure and responsibility on my shoulders. I near enough take manager's duties on, and it winds me up...couse I shouldn't.. I am on my feet for the whole night..I do clock some miles overnight..I have to b everywhere in a minute lol..can't miss any issue.. ..you are right..managers are cr** lol..(P.s. that's my next step in a carrer lol..thanks mate lol )..:-)))

My hat off for ur mum, some great years doing hours like that...I don't think I could...but never say never...

China? Lol..nah...too difficult language to learn...I think USA is closer to my goal lol....if I still work for the same company :-)))

Hope all is good with you. You are great soldier and should be proud of urself :)))

Keep it up and b proud!!!

Take care

Sandra x

Well, we're into the early hours of day 115 and once again I can honestly say that being gamble free is a completely positive influence in my life. It is much easier to get a clear idea of what I want to achieve and what steps I need to take next.

I have always been a writer to some extent, whether it was my years working as a journalist or the freelance work that I have done since then. The bigger picture for me is to save up for another 18 months or so, and head out on my big journey in August/September 2015. Thinking too far ahead? Probably, but if things go well then that is when I will finally put my career as an employee behind me, and when my career as a freelance writer will begin.

Sandra - I'm pretty sure I said "most" or some other word like that to temper my description of managers. I've had some good, some bad, and some middling managers over the years, and it is the ones who stand up and support their employees that I have always felt a loyalty to. If you back down and just toe the party line, then frankly as a manager you can feel free to go **** yourself. I'm sure you'll be one of the ones that I feel a genuine loyalty to.

Up late once again, but not really insomnia, just due to my tiredness and an evening nap that lasted longer than I expected.

All the best

Ryan

Hey Ryan,

Thanx for the post and well done on ur ongoing abstinence. Keep it up!!

U are right, my appologies, not every manager is c....

Anyhooo..speak later and look after urself:-))

Sandra x

Ryan

Fella it is great to read that you are making plans my friend, they will gift you something to focus on, a true goal so to speak.

For it be proud, strive to achieve them.

It is a subject that often gets talked about between myself and some of my GA room, the fact that all the combined years we all gambled, there was not for a single one of us 'An end game' we all to a man just went blindly at it, lurching from one loss to the next, quickly forgetting them and on to the next one.

A true sign of madness looking back today.

Thanks for the post on my thread, my 3 hours of feeding the fobt back in october are drawing further away, my recovery marches forward, the valuable lesson learnt.

Why simply I cannot place a bet in any form.

That way I actualy win.

you keep doing the same my friend.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hey Ryan,

I'm back again lol...feel like I had a little blunt reply to ur post last night...I keep telling myself to not to post if I'm not in a mood lol..

Just stress at work last night....lost my notepad 😀

Anyway, really great to see you marching forward and staying on the right track. You should be proud of yourself my friend. Little steps forward makes huge difference in a long run.

You are doing just that..respect to you my friend 🙂

Take care and keep it up!!

Sandra x

Saturday afternoon and off for another shift at work. I remember a time when I'd take in a list of the different accumulators I would have going on, and the videprinter on the bbc website would be getting frequently refreshed.

Not any more though. Day 119, and still no gambling. At the present moment, I can't see a situation where I would want to gamble again, but then again, I'm sure I felt like that before. Keeping my guard up and no complacency though.

Thanks for the support as always, and Sandra - I didn't notice where you thought your previous post was blunt, so don't worry about it. Hope that notepad pops up, I never go anywhere without mine! :P

All the best

Ryan

Hi Ryan... and well done on your 119 days gamble free. I also go through periods of time when thoughts of gambling are so far away that it seems idiotic that I ever gambled in the first place. However sometimes I don't feel that way and that's why I stay close to this place.

I'd love to put my career as an employee behind me. Freelance journalist, sounds exciting. Off travelling, sounds even more exciting.

Thanks for your support mate. Regards... S.A 🙂

Hi Ryan

Thanks very much for your kind words, just too take time out too say well done means a lot, well done on your 119 days gamble free. I totally agree with you saying you used too go too work with all your accumulators an that's probably all you concentrated on as I have been there. Looking back now am 13 days gamble free an makes you realise how much it gets a grip of you. Keep up the good work Ryan your doing great an keeps the rest of us aiming for what your at so you much stay strong not just for yourself but for all of us cause we are in it all together. Stay strong an well done again ryan