Rejuvenation.....meltdown

Yes, all is calm right now. I can remember how difficult it can be to get started again, as it's all too easy to allow your mind to tempt you into that mind frame of just one bet

But i have a strong mindset again this time and enough incentives to make this work

Also, remembering the tranquility of how abstaining and maintaining (Dunc) brings with it that new lease of life and a better way of life, know that takes time and effort to get back to that stage

Weldy,

Thanks for your kind post on my diary.

And great to see you getting in and amongst the recovery diaries mate. I know you will build up even more strength in your recovery if you can make a few new acquaintances on here. Strength in numbers eh!!

Keep strong and get through the day. Deal with tomorrow when you rise, ignore any urges.....you'll most probably be too busy blowing your bugle to worry about having a bet!!

Keep up the with the Lemsip

All the best mate

Recovery is possible

I'm off to see if I can make it to the post box and back as part of my physio rehab!! Says the former Amateur footballer!! Lol

Ain't life funny

Ade

Up early as the cold is waking me up every hour or so.

Have a lot of thoughts going through my head with regards to the gambling, but thankfully no urges to want to have a bet and have blocked my account anyway.

Wäs expecting a cheque in but it hasn't been paid yet, which is a double edge sword as i am a little broke right now as i gambled most of the previous one, and could do with the next one to pay bills

Fortunately, i have the mortgage money set aside so not in dire straits just yet, but will need it to come in soon

I don't want to be wishing time away, but i am looking forward to passing my first target of 7days and then reaching double figures as i have in the past had a few false starts when trying to get away from gambling

Normally in these first few days i would have thrown myself into my work, but not feeling up to it right now because of this cold

Plus, the heating got turned on last week, and didn't work, so have been without a working boiler since Weds and it's got a bit chilly round here. Hoping the plumber will call us back today

Time for more coffee methinks

Ouch, just went online to check the balance of my bank account - looked like a battlefield of transactions - looking forward to a statement without such transactions, but that's going to be a month and a half away - disappointed that I cleaned it out as i thought there was a little left, but seemingly not - shows how you just lose track of everything when you are in the throws of losing it!

Been reading a lot of diaries this evening, including going back over some of my own posts, to a time when i was most active on this site. Although my past history of gambling is well documented on here, i.e. habitual loser, CG who cannot keep it going, i can see glimpses of times when i was truly inspired and focused.

I have no doubt that without this site, I would be in a far worse place than i currently am as it has played it's part at various times of my life, in allowing me time to stop and think about what i have done with my life.

During my reading this evening, I was fortunate enough to read again that some of my previous efforts, though ending in relapse, had prior to this given inspiration to others, some of whom are still on the road to recovery now, some considerable time later. This gives me renewed hope that i might be able to be that person myself one day, to last longer than i have ever previously managed.

Little steps again for me, but maybe these are forwards and not backward ones

Weldy

Hello mate,

Just dropping by to check all is well, was a bit busy yesterday.

All the best

Ade

s

Hi Ade,

Yes all ok with me - trust that you are recovering well

Weldy

Yep all good here too Weldy thanks. Slowly getting there. Walked into town today and had a haircut. Did a small bit of shopping then had a slow walk home. Total distance walked about 1.5 miles. Considering this time last week I couldn't even walk down a short corridor......progress is being made ;0)

Anyway enough about me. More to the point. How the he'll are you? Hope you are still feeling strong.....beware that the weekend is upon us soon enough and those urges will come just through the habitual rituals that you have done around weekends for years.... bat those urges away, and come back much stronger for it.

You can do this mate.

Ade

Thanks Ade,

I am ok at the moment and have completed a whole week, which feels good. Just dealing with the flak from gambling too much money in the previous 6 weeks which is getting me down a little, but I know from my past experiences that this just takes time to sort itself out and the best way that this can happen is through not gambling! I can't change what is past, only the future

Have had a few weak and wobbly moments this week, but managed to close these out fairly quickly, so on the mend right now but it's a slow process

Normally, I throw myself into work and it keeps me pre-occupied, but to be honest, I am not enjoying my work right now and it feels more of a bind than normal, so I need other things to help me get through the days.

Great that you are up and about - just build that up slowly and don't over do it!

Weldy

Thanks Weldy,

All good again today for you I trust. Keep building that strength....you know you can. I know that the lost money is frustrating, but just keep working through these early days and you will feel human again. Well enough to make informed decisions about avoiding gambling. It just leads to misery every time....

Keep strong

Ade

Yes, I am off to with my fiancee to the wedding venue this afternoon where we are getting married in December to sort out the finite details

And to pay a large wedge of money (which we saved and I didn't touch!) so that will stop any temptations today

Weldy

Nice one Weldy,

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!! December wedding will be cooool!!

Keep strong mate, hope you don't mind me checking up on you, but I just know that you have it in you to do this. I'm rooting for you all the way.

One day at a time and you will get there. And think of the benefit of entering married life free from gambling, and with a mindset that is so anti-gambling that your head is clear and your focus is on your new life together....

Keep strong

Ade

Of course i don't mind you checking on me, it's great to know someone is looking out for me and who better than yourself as we kind of go back a long way on this forum

Had a cracking free meal at the venue this evening as it was our opportunity to taste the menu and the wine for free

Been with the missus almost 14 years, so i thought last year it was about time. With the wedding coming up it is a great catalyst to want to make a change

8 days so far, so long may it continue

Weldy

Keep it up Weldy,

You'll have to let me know your Bands name again, as my memory cant drag it back at the mo!!

And some of your Londonish venues and dates over the next few months, so I'll be able to hopefully come and see you in action.

Incidentally, my Mum moves to Barnet in Feb/March time. Which isn't too far from you is it???....

Keep strong mate

All the best

Ade

WIRED Ade

Saturday is here which means I am closing in on double figures which feels good and I am in a much calmer place right now

Weldy