Resisted this diary but here goes

Good luck, good start, I find my  diary helps me, keeps me on it.

can you do this? Yes, if you want it, I’ve gambled since I was 16 , I’m now over 50, I’ve lost close to £150k and got nothing to show for working all my life, nothing, I’m still 20k in debt.

i made a decision like you, no more, 162 days and over 5 months later my life is at the moment calm, the plan to finally get out of debt is there and to never gamble 1p is my goal.

if I can get this far you can, you have to really want it, yes it’s hard,you need the patience of a saint knowing that ONE DAY it will be finished, you will get ya life back, be a normal person.

i want it so bad, I hope you do as it will drive you on, try to keep that hope ok.

Thank you very much. 

Today is day 1 gamble free Sunday 18th

Well done.the road is long,remember this is for life,stay on it.

Hi there well my name is Iain and I have a gambling problem that has cost me thousands of pounds, friendships, marriage etc,

I am 56 years old and been gambling for probably the best part of 20 years, but I am stopping now, why because I have had enough.

I hope you come to like yourself again and whilst it not is big or clever, I find it certainly helps to say to people who are close to you, I have a problem, but hey I am trying to sort it. Yes we all carry the guilt and the pain, but we are only human beings and along the way I guess we took some wrong turns, made some bad choices, but we are still here, every day is a challenge, but today I did not gamble and I feel good, don't beat yourself up, get up, look in the mirror and say today I will not gamble and I feel good about myself

Thank you for your response, well done on a gamble free today. I feel any addict is never out of the woods, I think treating each day as it’s own day to choose not to gamble is a big deal, something I’ve never done before.

Monday today has been day 2 gamble free x

Cheers Lola and good luck on your journey, hopefully you can get the support you deserve and hopefully as you say you won't still be gambling in your 30, 40s enjoy life, good luck  xx

Posted by: Lola0612

For so long I’ve resisted doing this diary, mainly because I haven’t much self belief I could quit and didn’t want to have a gambling forum part of my life, just wanted to quit and forget about gambling entirely.

But 7 years being a gambling addict, that doesn’t work. Ignoring the addiction and pretending gambling doesn’t exist doesn’t deal with the problem, there will always be an advert or person to remind you of it. 

I’m 27 and been an online gambling addict since I was 20. I have spent most my 20’s as an addict and that is something I never wanted to be. It was ruined my confidence, relationships with people I love, friendships and made me look very foolish. Not to mention I have probably lost close to £100k in that time. 

I have very low confidence and low care for myself as a person, gambling has defiantly added to that. And also this doesn’t help with gambling because you don’t care if you ruin your life when you don’t care about yourself. But I want this to change.

I can sit here and say I have been an addict for 7 years, I do not want to sit there in 3 years time or 13 years time saying I’ve been an addict for 10 or 20 years, I don’t have to let that be the case. I can leave it here at 7 years which is only a small portion of my life as a whole. 

Despite my lack of care for myself I know I can seek help to turn this around and feel a very different way about myself. 

Im on Gamstop 

I have blocks on all devices 

I have been forwarded by Gamcare for therapy help. Which I will take.

Initially I’m going to report back to this post every single day. For at least 60 days. Then will report in weekly, monthly etc.

I want to remember the pain this causes, the gut wrenching regret, shame and guilt of ruining my life and bringing others down with me. I don’t have to ruin my life, it’s a choice. And I certainly shouldn’t be doing stuff that affects others I love. You can’t change what you’ve done. You can’t turn back time and undo actions or words. I don’t want to have regrets or blame for ruining other people’s lives when all they want is for me to be happy and ok.

I want to make a note of why I’m quitting, why now? Because I’m tired of underachieving and being a f**k up. I want to feel the sense of achievement of having savings, treating myself, building a secure future. Succeeding in business ventures and not walking around with the title of an addict.

Im quitting because I don’t want to be the reason for my families stress, misery or pain. 

I made the mistake by relying on blocks, pepople handling money for me, exclusions. It’s not enough. Building a better life everyday is must on top of that. Making changes to my life is a must.

I will report back each night. 

Feeling every word every pain we all need to help each other on here, Give one another tips ideas that help them even if so little. Im tired of starting of with little bets which always lead to big silly bets which then leads to sympathy of family friends we all need to change. Id like to hear back from how your therapy went as im looking in to it myself. Stay strong?

12 days gamble free 🙂