rock bottom...again

Good on you for telling how you feel and what happened. I to was sucked in by those d**n FOBTs!!!!!

I felt the same always thinking next time would be different but it never is 🙁 I barred myself from all bookmakers near me for a year. I'm only made 1 day GF but like I say EVERY DAY COUNTS 🙂 hope you find the inner strength to live a life away from the FOBTs

All the best GR4Y

P.S you have me and others on this site to talk to 🙂

thank you for the reply and the supportGR4Y. not really sure if i deserve any of it. as i said, i was here before and received a lot of support from everyone...and what did i do? i've let everyone down. i've never and probably never will meet any of the people that were so kind to me, but i still feel like i've let them down. gambling is like playing in a wavy sea...the waves are so nice, you keep jumping everytime a wave comes, but you slowly get dragged in the deep sea and all of the sudden you cant touch the bottom anymore...and you drawn. we all like the rush of winning, than losing it all and than of the last 20 quid making it all back again...but what do u do when u lose 2-3k and the last 20 doesnt bring it all back? i do appreciate the help but i think today i am too depressed to even be thinking of a life without gambling. i have to go to work in a couple of hours...i dont know how i'll manage that..

P.s. i did selfexclude from my local bookies but living in london means there's always one around.

Hey lostinlife,

Firstly, you made a good move joining this Forum. I only joined a few days ago but I have already received some great tips and advice. I have spent hours in front of those FOBT'S before, playing that d**n Cops & Robbers game. All day, and maybe I'll win £100....after putting about £400 in. The machines are evil, and are only making everyone's Gambling problem worse.

Think positively though, you have made a major step in the right direction by joining here and talking to people. People who are either in or have been in the same position as you are right now, if you stick around and read other people's stories you'll pick up great tips and also find out rather quickly that your not alone.

Having a Gambling problem is sadly made 10 times worse as it's so easy to hide from everyone else around you. But you still shouldn't fight it alone.

Take it easy,

Stuart

Hi LIL

Every journey begins with small steps and this is your time to start another journey. By coming on here and being honest to yourself and writing down your story you are helping me beyond belief, I just hope I can return the favour. If you abstained before and liked it then I ask you to do it again for yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will have in your life. Other relationships are secondary to this. Hope your shift goes in quickly and your head clears quickly. There is no easy answer but firstly you have to accept the money ain't coming back!

Take care

If you read my diary you see I lost £1400 in a few days that is only one time but the other times I lost £1000 in a day (not even a day more like a few hours) but I realise I will never get that money back. If only I realised that sooner I wouldn't be on this site. Thing is try to think of the money you'll be saving with all your GF days I know it's hard at mo but it is what it is chasing lost money will only lead to more losing. I too live in London (woolwich) it's like a mini Las Vegas bookies everywhere but you need to try find your inner strength don't ever give up.

He dude. I feel u. I am rock bottom too. I no am a few bets from my partner leaving me to go on and live a normal life.got to strong. In my experience I would deffo get some one to one help. It does work to talk bud. Am just about to seek help to b4 ..

Well no what b4 what if u feel the same as me.

Good look bud

Thank you all for the kind words. I read a few diaries on here and in a way it helps that I am not alone in this, but it also makes me feel angry that so many of us suffer with this addiction. I just got into work and feel so drained. I didn't want to get out of bed and if I could afford it, I would've taken the night off. I just want to sleep... Slept for a couple of hours tonight , kept waking up in nightmares... Till now every time I lost big, I would take it on the chin..work like a horse loads of overtime and covered it. I don't have the energy anymore

Pretty grim day today. What happened yesterday still haunts me. Last night at work everyone asked if I was alright...I couldn't say anything, felt too ashamed. Saw some friends today...same thing. I just lied and said I'm not feeling well. came home and started working on my brothers car, just to try take my mind of things.

I'm just thinking of how many times I promised myself I won't do it again...and here I am again..

Broke...and broken.. Anyway, enough crying like a little girl.. I need to find the energy to try repair what I've done.. I still don't know how..but I need to do it .

It will probably take me a couple of years to repay all the money I owe, but I have to do it. I've done it before..I just need to find a way to stay on the wagon

1st try not to be hard on yourself I promised myself not to gamble anymore but still did. this is the 1st time I said it and doing something about it like being on here and booking GA meeting. It is gonna be hard for us all some harder then others.

My mind still going round like mad but I just try to think of my past when gambling weren't apart of it. As I been told the past is the past you can't change it but your future is what you want it to be (if only it was that easy) it might get harder on days then easy on others but we shall support each other through the road to recovery :-).

Stay strong my friend

After reading you post we are all in same boat, too be honest you in 25,000 in debt is like someone being 1,00 pound in debt that doesn't work, takes time too pay it. When we are in debt through gambling it means one thing. We are cannot win cause we don't know when too walk away which means the games up. A lost £3,000 in too weeks which was last off my savings an was devastated through being in the zone of destruction. We know it's wrong when chasing we look back after losing an know it's so wrong, but when in zone nothing matters but the next race or spin. It's sad scary but true. Stay strong it will get easier but only if it's gamble free. Good luck stay strong an talk about it get it all off your chest

Thank you for writing on my diary ally. I know it will get easier as that's our(cg's)best ability, to forget the losses and carry on. I didn't use to gamble everyday, I could go on for weeks without touching the fobts. But as soon as put money in , I'm hooked. Very rarely I walked out with money in my pocket, despite being always a bit up in the first hour or so.but I think is the greed that makes us behave this way. Funny enough I'm not a greedy person in my 'normal' life, if I can call it that way.. I have a good job, I earn quite a good wage and for some reason still isn't enough. I am very ashamed of what I become...but yet again, I was in the same shoes 2 years ago..and still haven't learnt my lesson. I've ended up all alone, in a lot of debt...fragile health, etc.. My biggest worry is that I haven't got the energy to start all over again.. I feel so tired of it all..

It might be just early days but..who knows. Today I'm gonna print off hundreds of photos and keep in the car. Every time I'll pass a certain bookie I'll go in and self exclude. I tried before to exclude from one and add up to another 4 on the list but it didn't work. I was still able to lose loads of money in those bookies for a couple of months before someone came to ask me if I have excluded myself from that establishment. After reading loads of diaries on here I realize I still have to figure out what makes me gamble.. I wasn't like this, I was quite outdoorsy, liked to play sports, loved ridding mountain bikes, had loads of friends etc. now, the phone doesn't ring anymore, if I don't gamble I watch tv...or just lay around the house. I feel like a dead battery, no energy to do anything.

Hi lost in life, thank you for writing on my journal, I definitely needed the advice to go back and re-read what I have written. A little wake up call and finding the strength to say no. Hope you are as you said staying on the wagon 🙂 Taking everyday minute as a victory at min and also trying to keep busy 🙂

Hi lost in life

Thanks for your support fella 🙂

Good idea on those photos. Like you said to me you showed yourself you can stay away from those FOBTs!!!!

Hope your ok my FRIEND.

GR4Y stay strong