SadG wants to be happyG

Sad g hello mate, a massive congratulations on 50 days gamble free you must be so proud!!!!your last post touched me so much and I can relate to everything you wrote in it, especially the stuff to do with your children how gambling has denied them so much I.e times lost which could of been spent with them and materialistic things or holidays!! I mean to think that I would use to moan about giving my partner 100 pound for food shopping yet I would easily sit there and put 500pound into a stupid machine, gambling made us selfish selfish people, now is the time to make it up to the people who missed out!!! We can beat this addiction! I wish you all the best mate, and thanks for your continued support!

From your friend simmo!!!

P.s you should of let me know about your plumbing problems lol

Hi Sad,

Havn't read your diary yet, but wanted to comment that I thought the post on duncs diary was brilliant. Will catch up with yours on sunday when am off work.

Keep up them gamble free days!

Womble x

So helpful to read such a positive post and you have so got your priorities sorted.

Fairly new here and as I process more thoughts about stopping the guilt is the hardest thing to acknowledge. My children working their butts off while I threw away my money and then they pay for a surprise trip to Dublin for my birthday. Everyone says don't look back but feel so ashamed difficult not to at times. Maybe like you I can compensate for the past without them realising the truth. At least we have another chance which is more than some.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and feelings and stay strong.

xxx

Hi..

I have had a read some of your thread and the difference between your first and last post is immense. Congratulations on 50 days. I can relate to what you were saying about; 'when you where gambling every pound mattered.' Before my last binge I chose to walked a really steep hill to my car, so I didn't have to pay 8 quid for a taxi. only to go home and blow £200 on a game of poker!

I don't have any money left this month but I definitely intend to follow your lead and spend more on those nearest and dearest to me in the future. Have a great gamble free day.

Hi Sadg

Well done pal you made the magic 50 trust me before you know it you be at 100 the days fly in

Take care and stay strong and just for today I will not gamble

Hugh

Guess what happened last night? I managed to confess to a friend that I'm a recovering CG.

Ok it came about by accident but it felt good to talk to someone about it. Duncanmac can take some of the credit for this one after I was reading his thread in great detail yesterday.

He wrote that when he started his new job he had an interview and in that interview he told his future employers that he was a recovering CG and how he was turning his life around, before he went on to outline his vision for the job. I drew strength from that, in that he felt he was in a good enough place, and strong enough to discuss his addiction. I loved his honesty.

Last night whilst driving to work I rang a friend of mine for a quick chat. I said 'how's things'. Not good he said. He went out with friends the other night, got drunk and ended up in the casino. He was £1500 down very quickly before chasing the losses. He ended up £4000 down. Money he couldn't afford to lose. I could tell just how gutted he was by his voice. I said 'I know how you feel'. He didn't believe me.

I then found myself telling him about the year I've just had and the losses I've incurred and how I'd seen the light and was 50 days gamble free. He was stunned to hear my story. I still couldn't quite tell him how much I'd lost but he knew I was talking serious losses. I told him I was now a recovering CG, 50 days free and that I posted on this site every day. It felt liberating telling someone I know. I know he understood where I was coming from. It would be so much harder telling someone who isn't a gambler(like my wife) because they just don't understand what addiction does to you but it was a start just telling my friend.

He's been a compulsive gambler for years, Casinos and sports betting. He spends hours looking at football teams form. He admitted that his betting takes up hours upon hours of his time. We both have 5 year old sons and were both addicted to gambling. We worked together for 5 years, up to 2 years ago, when I moved my job. We often talked in the staff room at work about gambling and our sons development. Things we had in common.

Last night I told him to get on this site and to sort himself out for his son and his wife's sake if nothing else. It was a really good productive chat and I hope he came on last night and took a look at this site. I'll chase him up tomorrow and see how he's getting on. It just felt good to share my addiction with someone I know. We'll definitely share our thoughts more in the coming months. I really hope I can get him to see some sense. Will keep you posted on his development hopefully.

Have a great day today everyone. I wish you well. There will be no gambling today!

G

Sad g.

Fella i thankyou for helping me lance my boil!!!!!!!

Through recovery you find amongst many other things that honesty is a truly amazing thing.

Harness these feelings,keep passing on the good words.

They help a fellas resolve no end.

Abstain and maintain.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi SadG,

Thanks for taking the time to read my diary and post your thoughtful response.

I think it was a lovely gesture to give the advice to your friend and hopefully he checked out the site,he might even start a diary of his own.

It must have taken great courage for you to admit this problem even to someone who is a friend with similar issues.

Incidents like those make us stronger each day as there is great strength to be gained through unity.

Dealing with te emotional side has been a real struggle for me and many others on this site and i can see it has been for you too at times. The guilt and sadness do ease but it takes such a long time and as ex-CG's we want everything to happen so quickly and instantaneously. Hang in there taking it ODAAT the days are already adding up to weeks and these will soon be months.

I am walking this path together with you and to our left and right thre are others who are walking with us, some a little way up ahead the path and some behind. Together we CAN do this so please stay safe and strong, lets go for those 100 days and can't wait to hear all the tunes.

I had a little songfest after 100 days too it was very theraputic, especially as each and everyday was a bit of a struggle it was nice to concentrate on something more upbeat.

These are for you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=583_nEvuRvw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?…KMTqg-9DZrYgoyqNburrSR7Ee4fmo

Paulds

Morning G,

Sincere thanks for putting your thoughts down on my diary. I really enjoyed your post. After that I proceeded to read through your whole diary, what a marvellous turnaround you've made these past 51 (or is it now 52) days mate. Well done. Really well done.

Reading through your diary also reminded me quite a bit of me with regards to your "former" gambling patterns. I too was no stranger to blowing thousands in a session and the bit in your post with you almost losing a couple of grand in a 20 min break from work really hit home. Years ago I used to think I was great walking round with a fat roll of cash in my backburner but the more time went on and the more time I spent on that destructive gambling path, the more my stocks depleted, and the less likely I was to hit the collect button. In fact over say the past few years I've never gotten anywhere at all with it or withdrawn anything decent, and it has been a total drain not only on money, causing more debts and misery, but also a drain on my soul and whole being. Like you say, why would we want to give ourselves to a heartless machine, online casino or anything of that nature. Surely there's more to life than this ? Reading your diary makes it apparent that there is.

Personally I know the feeling of gambling taking so much away from a person. It did with me also. G it would be a dream come true to be discussing what great progress we've made in a years time. I'll happily settle for in a few months time for now 🙂 Let's dust off off those guitars, gym sneakers, Spanish books etc and get to it.

Have a great day mate.

Hey G,

A lot of positive posts here! Glad you are doing well!

I accidently told a good friend about my problem! We had been to the gym and he was using my IPad. The last page up was gamcare website!

He asked what this was about and I was just totally honest, the sincere empathy and concern he showed was amazing and unexpected!

It felt fantastic to share and is now just another weapon in my armoury!

Keep up the good work G

Hello g,

A massive well done on telling your friend about the person you use to be,I bet it felt like a massive weight has been lifted off you're shoulders, seems like your growing in confidence, wish you all the best mate

Simmo

Congrats on your 50-days sadG. You seem to be in good control now, and it's a big inspiration to myself as well.

I am still not sure if I have the courage to tell my mates about my gambling problem. I suppose if it happens spontaneously, then I will tell, but I probably won't be the one that initiate it. Yeah, and if I do tell all, I will be hesitant to state how much I lost, I feel sick thinking of the amount lost can do myself..

Well done again mate!

Yes G,

Well done on getting in that gym mate. You said you was going to and you did. I'm proud of you and you done yourself proud. Got a lift to work this morning myself but was on the trusted Iron Horse on the way back (that's what I can my pushbike) for a nice 6 or 7 mile ride home. Lovely jubbly.

Reading your last post I also noticed you confided in a mate with regards to your gambling. That's great news. You did the right thing. Hopefully the next step is you getting him on here.

Thanks again for your support.

You da man.

Thank you everyone for your wonderfully positive posts.

Day 53 today

Well I made it to the gym. Oh yes. Been meaning to get back to it for a while. Realised I hadn't been since August when I picked up an injury. Stayed home, got bored, gambled, lost, lost more, lost even more, hit rock bottom, Gamcare people saved me. That's pretty much how it went in short. It wasn't just the injury as I was already a CG all last year. I love going to the gym when I'm motivated. I get such a buzz from the workouts. I realised if 2013 is to be different for me then I am the one whose got to put the work in. Hence went back today. Just a very light workout, 10 mins on the bike then home and a good dinner but it was a start. Used to be a real regular, 4-5 days a week. Would love to get back to the levels I was at 2 years ago.

So that's the first hobby up and running again. Spanish and guitar lessons to sort out next. Will keep you all posted on progress.

No contact from my mate who lost all that money. Will text him and see how he's doing. Hope he came on here and found some inspiration. Got a nice glass of red on the go at the moment. Going to sit and watch Inception now. Been meaning to watch it for so long. Too many wasted hours gambling online=no time to watch films. 2012 was a disgraceful, shameful, depressing uninspiring year. 2013 is going to be a hell of a year in my life. Not just by being gamble free but it's my wifes 40th, my sons 18th and my daughters 21st birthdays. On top of that we have a holiday in Barbados in April to look forward to(a good motivator for going back to the gym). I wish I could say I paid for the holiday to Barbados but I can't. Will explain all another day.

When I look in the mirror I don't see the same man I looked at 2 months ago. This man is much more at ease and happier. I don't hate the man in my mirror. I used to. He looks more positive now. I like the man I see in my mirror. He allows himself a wry smile here and there, like he knows something. The old one didn't. Not very often anyway. This man in my mirror looks fresher in the face. Can't be the same man can it? He looks like he's in a good place right now. I just hope he stays there. I think he will.

G

What a great post G a real inspiration and turn around!

If you look at the first page of yor diary you posted something along the lines of .... " I can only hope to be 68 days gamble free one day " or something like that!

Not too far off now! Sounds like you have a fantastic year ahead of you and a fantastic family! Keep it up!

Looking forward to hearing from you

Luke