Hi to you whoever you are and thanks for reading and maybe even caring a little too.
I have been a compulsive gambler for over 20 years and have tried on multiple occasion to stop. I was managing to control my loses mostly by the lack of chance to gamble, mostly just in pubs on fruit machines. After more time I was becoming isolated from my friends, even if they were In the pub with me preferring to play machines rather than talk to them. Then conscious of my friends opinion I would go to the pub alone just to gamble.
This seemed to be ok for years but then the amount you could bet went up and they started to accept notes and I would lose over £100 just popping out for a quick pint.
The largest part of the problem came from the discovery of on-line gambling, in the past 4-5 years I have lost 40-50k, had to borrow from the bank and have come up with hard luck stories to get money from my family.
This all came to a head last week when I lost £2k in one day that was supposed to be set aside to help buy a house for me and my family. I had been drinking a lot and the shock that I had done this when I realised what I had done the next day seriously f****d me up for days, but I haven't gambled since and I never want to again. Today's news on online gambling mentioned gamcare so I decided to have a look as I as yet have never talked to anyone about this.
Basically then I am a gambling addict and have been most of my life and it has nearly ruined my life. I haven't gambled for 5 days now and I never want to again. I'd really appreciate any support or advice or just the chance to feel proud for every day of strength and some one to turn to in times of weakness.
Good luck to everyone in the same boat, stay strong.
Well done for finding your way here, friend. Sorry to hear of your troubles and losses. I suppose the most recent heavy loss is the motivator for your recovery and exit from the gambling life that you need, so look at that from a different perspective. If you continue on with your recovery you'll soon see it as a blessing in disguise.
What's lost is lost. You'll never get it back, but you have tomorrow and a chance to do things differently. Choose recovery and move on. 5 days will be 5 months, then 5 years, if you choose to abstain from gambling. It's all a choice.
Wish you the best in your recovery.
Alex
Thanks Alex, you're officially the first person I've ever discussed this with and I'm in tears with a feeling of relief. Don't worry I'm not going to rely on you, hope you'll just be the first of many I can talk to. Just knowing I can share how I'm doing and some one will actually read it and care feels great.
Alex is right, whatever's done is done - there is no magic wand to change things. There is no point beating yourself up over mistakes in the past... use it as a catalyst for your recovery towards a gamble-free life.
£2k is a lot of money... but it doesn't matter if it's £2, £2,000 or £2m - it's all the same. Eventually every compulsive gambler reaches that point where they can take no more. Where there life has become unmanageable and the only way out is to take action.
Well done for finding your way here. The forum is full of people just like you, and rest assured you will find support and advice from people who will not judge.
I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong, keep posting on here, and take one step at a time.
All the best
D123
Thanks for the kind words. Hopefully I'll find the strength from the support here to really quit this time, for good.
Hi New Start
Welcome to this forum its a great place to offload and share mutual experiences!
Well done on your progress to date....5 days is a great start.
Many people here cite time-money-location as the ingredients needed to gamble, if one's removed its much more difficult. For me, that meant blocking access to online sites and leaving bankcards at home and keeping myself busy....anything to buy me some time when I felt the "urge".
Anyhow, I wish you well.
take care
Irene
x
Thanks Irene. I've gotten rid off any bank accounts that are not joint so my wife would soon see what I'm up to if I start gambling again. I've also taken up jogging to give myself goals to achieve and fill the time.
I'm most concerned about drinking as this is what would cause most of my lapses when I was trying to stop in the past. I enjoy a drink and socialising but it really does affect your will power. Stopped drinking for now but that can't last forever.
Every day at a time. Day 6.
Very happy to read of your relief at having told others of your problem with gambling. That first post is always the hardest, and just putting it in writing that you have problem can be start of beating it. I know of that relief myself. It's a good sign.
Gambling can definitely be a lonely pursuit, so I totally understand this, as I was the same when I arrived here last year.
Most I lost was only £600 in a binge over a weekend, but I know those feelings of "What the hell have I done" and the mixture of emotions that come with it all. Second to that, my gambling only went of for two years as a problem, but my addictive behavior has always been there. Throw in gambling to this and I had massive problems. Luckily, it reached a head and I've somehow got myself out of the bubble of it. Bubble, I say, as that's what it felt like. I lost myself in gambling inside a bubble, hid myself, escaped and was alone until it reached the point where that bubble needed bursting.
You may also want to think over the reasons and why gambling became a problem. Usually it's a lot more than wanting to hit the jackpot. For me, it was an escape from other problems that occurred the year prior or stresses and strains that we all have in life.
This journey can be testing, but stick to it and it'll have life-changing effects, I promise.
All the best
Alex
Well today will mark 1 whole week gambling free. Just the first of many. Feeling stronger every day. I know I've been here before but this feels different.
Well done on your first week, NS. Let it be the first of many. You can do this.
I think you're right, I can do it and I think the difference is being able to talk about it. Shame about all the money I've lost but at least all the money I'm not wasting now can go towards actually enjoying my life.
Hi New start and welcome to this forum.
Very well done on first week gamble free. Great achievement. It is not easy journey, a lot of bumps on a way but if you set your targets and put your heart and soul to your recovery you sure will come out the other end. Believe in yourself and take it day at a time.
It will get easier and you will start seeing life in different colours:-)
I wish you all the best in your journey to better future.
Take care
Sandra
Quit just over a week ago and the feeling of excitement, optimism and relief has gone. Feel depressed and empty and want to be alone. Don't really feel like gambling but feel really low.
Anyone else been through a similar feeling? I want to, actually I don't really know what I want but I don't want to feel like this.
You're not alone in that feeling, NS. I think it just comes with leaving something that's a had a significant grip on you for sometime. It can trigger urges, so be cautious and stay strong. Keep youself occupied with something productive. Work on some new goals. The future will open up now you've left that gambling nightmare behind.
I might be wrong by what's causing you to be down, so I apologise if I am.
All the best & wish you well
Alex
Survived a night in the pub with no fruit machines played. Feeling a little bit proud of myself.
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