Something's got to change.

I just posted in you diary and that exact moment, you posted. How strange.

Well done on tonight, NS. You're right to feel proud. Super achievement.

-Alex

Thanks for you continued support Alex.

Nearly two weeks in now, terrible news from work that I have been being over paid for years. Could be taking a pay cut and have to pay back 1000's. Just what I need right now.

At least got Great Birmingham run to look forward to tomorrow with 20,000 other fools running in the rain. Just not feeling motivated for it right now.

Guess it's always darkest before dawn.

Hey there you are like me. I never gambled until I retired from work got a big lump sum spent a lot paying off my debts had money in the bank and life was good. Decided to go to the bingo with my sister then had a few shots on the slots got a little lucky and the rest is history! Now have debts of 60 k and am back working to pay the debts off. What a mug I am! However there is no way I am going back to my old ways. My money is saying mine. I know it's my fault but there are far too many outlets and adverts for gambling think the country has gone mad

You're right Hacker, so many TV adds for on line slots, bookies popping up everywhere and every other email is for a new casino with an introductory offer. You just can't avoid them and it makes me sick. There really needs to be more restrictions on these sites to stop people losing more than they can afford.

Well two weeks down and many more to go and now looking forward to my run tomorrow. Thanks for helping me get this far everyone. Just being able to write my thoughts on here and have people read and comment on them has been the difference between trying to give up and really giving it up for good.

Off to the pub to watch the football, this time on my own. Some inner strength will be required tonight.

6th of November will mark one month of being gambling free. Still feel a lot of guilt about the lost money but not needing to gamble at all now. Not been online gambling or on a single fruit machine. Think I might be able to do this you know.

Well done on you continued recovery, NS. The 6th of November will mark an important milestone for you. Congratulations on this achievement.

Alex

Hi new start

Just popping by to say well done you!! Nearly a month!! I'm only on day 2 having tried to give up a few times this is the most determined I have been and I think I will get far this time if your half hearted about something you're not going to get anywhere, well done again Hollie xx

Thanks Hollie. I've tried to quit several times in the past but something was different this time, I really wanted to as well as needing to. Finding this forum also really helped to as I am able to proudly broadcast each little achievement rather than be constantly filled with guilt.

Well done on just making the decision to stop and if it's what you really want you'll find the strength to see it through. I look forward to hearing from you again and hearing how you're getting on. Good luck.

Alex, thanks for the congratulations. I remember when you first replied to my post making you the first person I ever told I had a gambling problem. I'm already so much stronger and happier. Only wish I had gotten to this point 10 years ago. Never mind it's all in the past now and what's past is merely prologue.

Glad to read you're doing so well, NS.

I have to say I wasn't fully aware of the meaning and origin of the term 'the past is prologue' until I looked it up. Very profound in the context of beginning again after addiction. I had a shudder go up my spine when I looked into the history of it and its origin in the Shakespeare play. I was moved by it to say the least and will always remember it from now on, so thanks for using it in your last post.

Well done on reaching your first major milestone. Key in this battle is to look ahead and not behind us.. The past is merely prologue!!

-Alex

Alex. The first time I read that was acctually round the edge of a £5 coin and then later found out it was from Tempest. It's also on some statue or building in Washington dc.

I keep that coin in my wallet now to try to use it as a physical reminder and for strength when I need it. I know I've f***** up big time in the past but I still have a great chance for a happy and full life. My mistakes have been many and in gambling very costly but instead of dwelling on them I'm trying to look to the future, always mindful of the past but only to use my experiences to help me make the right choices today, not to punish myself for something I can no longer do anything about.

To go back to Shakespeare "the past is prologue" and has got to where I am in my story today which really isn't that bad a place, "what to come, in yours and my discharge", I see as simply meaning that the future is up to me and my choices.

Thank you Alex for helping me find the strength to make the right choices this past month and continuing with my next far happier scene rather than the tragedy it was turning out to be.

Anyone that reads my thread might get the impression that I'm finding this all very easy. I promise you I'm not. I feel the compulsion still to play machines in pubs. I just have to manage my drinking so I know I can stay in control and just yesterday I nearly walked into the gaming area of a motorway services just out of habit and nearly started crying because of it.

I may be winning my battle but that doesn't mean it's been easy.

Thanks to all that read and post on here, it help gives me the strength to keep struggling on.

When does it get any easier? I've been here before but I've alway gone back to gambling. I won't do that again but I thought I'd be happier after I quit. Need a holiday from my own thoughts.

6 weeks in and starting to see the bennifits now. More money to spend with the family and more time with them too.

Hope things keep improving.