Staring today July 12, 2017

I have relapsed 2 or 3 times but walked away b4 losing everything. I am 58 and have gambled for years but this year i have almost lost everything. 3 weeks now for me and counting. Dont give up. Keep posting. We will support each other. It is doable

Thanks for these comments, I am now 27 days gamble free. I am thrilled that I have made it this far.

Definitley deleting gambling Apps, only using apple pay via my phone to pay for things (so i did not have cash) and self excluding from online accounts has given me the ability to do this.

Keep going mate I've slipped up many times but at least you're back on track. 27 days is great keep it up

I actually went 32 days gamble free, before messing up completely a week ago and since then I have gambled on and off each day for the last 8 days. I fooled myself, thinking that as I was only gambling "small" amounts, I would be ok. Consequently, I won small and lost small.

Until today.

I have just lost £750 on a FOBT in a high street bookies.

Then a further £200 online trying to win that money back.

I've just spent the last 2 hours thinking about it and how, despite going over 30 days, there was that itch, that gnawing little thing that I could not shake off. I failed. It hurts.

I hate what I am

Another £200 today. I am devastated and P****d off. All I can think of is how I am letting myself down

i do not learn, i never ever learn

Hi Burko

Sorry to hear you are struggling. One thing that leaped out at me was your comment "I hate what I am". You should not hate yourself for letting the gambling industry suck you in and make you sad and broke. That is what they do and they are very good at it, hence the number of us on here plus probably a 100 fold more out there struggling on their own. Join me in hating the gambling industry by all means but never yourself.

For what it is worth my short term advice would be to step up whatever blocks you have in place. Your urges to gamble are obviously strong so you need to work out what would have made it impossible to act on them.Where did you get all the cash to gamble?

Longer term you do need to work out why you are really gambling and the triggers. If counselling did not work for you then perhaps GA meetings?

Good luck and keep posting. I know it sounds odd but I do think the act of posting daily does help, almost as if you are renewing your vow not to gamble each day.

Muststop123

Thanks Muststop123

I appreciate that

Hey burko 26 just 9 days for me this time after big relapse. I am determined to beat this. I will succeed and so will you

Im struggling big time too burko please don’t give up quitting Muststops advice is very good I’m taking that advice on board myself. I’m currently having psychotherapy but last two sessions haven’t had any as first one I couldn’t make it second one my therapist was off for day. There’s obviously a link there I think for me but I’m going to have to learn how to cope without therapy one day and not self destruct so I’m considering ga too. Thanks Mustop keep hanging in there burko I’m rooting for you

I decided to revisit this thread. I am gamble free since Sunday....3 full days. Prior to that I have had periods of 6, 8, 12, 11 days of being GF.

I am in counselling and the key thing i am working on is "what is gambling giving me"?

I walked past three b00kies this morning, peered into one of them and saw three pwople on the FOBTs before 9am. I am determined this time not to be one of them again.

I failed.

I gambled again, and often. I lost more money I cannot afford to lose. I am not going to update this thread anymore. Instead, I have started a new one. It might sound strange, but I see today as a close to the old me, the gambler, and the start of a new me. I am determinied to leave behind the old me.

New diary is here: http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/trying-again-7