Right time to start getting my life in order. I cannot let this problem beat me. I need to get control back of my life and not let this addiction control me.
Tonight I changed my managed to change my password on a site that I have been using for a couple of months and it's difficult to recover the password and I have just used a mixture of letters so I will never remember it. Tonight I sat back after wasting my wins and then depositing more and realised I have wasted a load of money and put a load on to credit card. Now I'm lying awake wondering if I can afford to pay the credit card back.
I don't know why I just kept depositing on my credit, perhaps as it's not coming out of my bank account it doesn't feel like it's my money? But now I have to find a way to pay it back.
I also don't think about it when I play from my bank account and how much I spend on gambling. Yet I will stop and think about how much I am spending when it comes to buying something. It's like gambling is a seperate money bag. I can't and don't want to let this continue. My life doesn't feel like my own. I seem to work to feed my gambling habit but I want to work to have a life, my life!
It's now time for me to take my life back! From this night on I am going to try and take control!
About getting your life back, I also think you can do it. There's nothing else to add. You have the choice, you may not feel like you do, but you do. I worked it out like this. If I feel like gambling, I ask myself one question. What will you gain? Nothing, what will you lose, everything, because compulsive gamblers don't gamble to win, they gamble to lose. Even when I've won, I've gambled until I've lost it all again, how stupid is that?
Thank you. I have gambled away several lots of wininings as the urge to play consumes me. I then kick myself as I have gambled those winings away.
Just had an email from the site I have been using asking how long I want to be excluded for. My reply was as long as they possibly can.
I have made a step in the right direction. This road I know is not going to be easy!
Hi Lia, your story sounds just like my own, I have been 6 days gamble free today and have a recovery diary which helps. I feel as though I'm always thinking about the gaming sites and imagining myself winning a large amount but I know this is very unlikely to happen in reality. Like you when I put money on the sites it doesn't feel like real money and I always spend everything I do win. It makes me feel so angry that I can be so stupid and weak. Keep strong in beating this evil addiction we can beat it xx
Thank you all. It is nice to know that even though I am fighting my own demons, I'm not alone in my struggle.
Well day 1 is nearly over, thankfully! I'm desperately trying not to think of gambling and thinking of things to occupy me. Been difficult but I have been good! Bring on day 2! I can do this!!!
Hey Lia,
I like your determination!!!:-) that's all you need..believe in yourself and take day at a time..It's not easy road, but we are all strong enough to meet the challenges being thrown our way.
Try to keep yourself busy as much as you can...or just read the diaries...it helped me to stay on straight and narrow..
Be kind to yourself and keep fighting the good fight:-~)
Wish you well on your journey
Sandra x
Day 2 is going well. I keeping reading other peoples stories. It's mad how much people are similar with this affliction. Gives me hope that people are over coming it. I signed up to the christmas challenge to help keep me motivated. Stay strong everyone! X
I'm on day 4 now. I'm doing well so far! Today it's starting to feel the urge as I don't have anything to really occupy me. But. I am determind to stay strong!
Now on day 5! Woohoo!! Each day small steps but so far so good!
X
Well done on your progress, Lia. Take each day as it comes, always remembering that gambling gave you nothing and that your life now will improve without it. Wish you the best on your journey.
Thanks for the encouragement on the Christmas Challenge Thread, Lia. Truly, whether I'm in the challenge or not, I have to get a handle on the gambling. Paydays are a problem for me (like many others) but I must get over that. Best to you!
Hi Lia and well done on 5 days g free!!!
Fantastic achievement and by taking it day at a time you will find yourself in a lot better place:-)
Keep fighting the good fight...everything is possible if you set ur heart to it:-)
Sandra x
Thanks all! Feeling positive! X
well done lia. hope u r still going strong. get some blockers in place. keep strong and dont take give in to temptation. a.n.d
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