Hi all, I'm Matt
About two years ago I made commitment to stop gambling. It's been a very long a painful road. I'm hoping this diary will aid me and others in my road to recovery. First of I know this forum is a community so I will try to engage with others to try and help as I'm hoping others will engage with me.
I'm 29 and been compulsive gambling for over 10 years. I wanted to give up a long long time ago but 2 years ago I decided to act upon it. It been one hell of a journey I have to admit. I have gambled in those 2 years so it's not been a complete success. However there are some important lessons I have learned. First of and I think this is the most important. There is no golden answer that anyone will get that will make you stop gambling. Its a fight that will rage with us for the rest of our lives, but it does get easier.
Never become complacent. I've been on this forum and chat rooms so many times. So many people come here after having one bad day or week and feel really sour about their losses. They rant their rage for a while and than disappear only to gamble again without learning lessons from their previous experience.
Never think that gambling is a solution to getting out of debt. Bookie and especially casino games are mathematically designed to be in their favour and not in yours. You may have a good winning streak but if your money hungry and desperate for cash. You will gamble more with higher amounts. The odd's will stack up against you. You will lose it all and continue to fall further into dept.
One thing I did that last year was to self exclude myself from as many gambling sites as possible. This has been one of the best moves I have ever made, and will strongly recommend this move for anyone.
Admitting that we are compulsive gamblers and we all have a problem. Depression, loss of control, desperation and feeling hopeless about our situation. I've been there many times. This is touchy subject I know, we all have to find our own individual paths out of this. I'm not going to preach just explain what helped me. Telling a friend or a family about your problem will help. I will say be very careful and use discretion who and where you confide in. Compulsive gambling is an addiction and no one likes admitting or discovering they have a weakness. However we become stronger knowing what out weakness are. Always look on the positive side of life. Be thankful for what you have, rather than what you've lost. That money is gone and isn't coming back.
Matt
Fella some very wise words written there,well done in confronting your own shortcomings.
Welcome to the forum, a place full by and large of folk who have admitted that their own gambling is beyond their own control.
You are correct in stating there is no right or wrong on recovery methods
It is the end goal that is all that matters
Arresting that next all important punt.
glad to have you on board so to speak,I look forward to reading more of your journey in recovery
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back
How u doing mate ?
This weekend I had what I could best describe as a panic attack. I made a couple of silly mistakes at work, thankfully I the storm will pass on this one. I'm writing this post as the memory of this event is still fresh in my mind. The stress and anxiety of getting into trouble at work was magnified by other problems in my life. Such as the fear of being unemployed which I may face in a couple of years. The pressure of finding motivation to study (open uni). I started thinking negatively about my future, also thinking about the damage gambling caused me in the past. It was a fight of flight situation for me. I was desperate for a place to retreat & hide away. The only place I could think of, was gambling. I felt like being in a tunnel with no light at the end. Thankfully the experience and knowledge I've gained in the last two years of abstaining from gambling kicked in and started to guide me. I began to calm down and think positively about how far I've come and what I've achieved and gained.
Life by no means at the moment is paradise, but I'm just extremely happy and grateful that I'm leading a normal life. I've cleared by depts & am finally saving. Why the hell would I want to give my hard earned money to some bookies? Yeah I might get lucky and be up short term, but I know truthfully I'll just want more and won't walk away. Long term, no matter how good a system I think I have, I'll always lose out as thats the way the gambling system works. I won't deny that gambling is fun, it gives you a thrill and the buzz of winning will carry you through some bad days. Some people can experience this and walk away, good for them. However I know I'm a compulsive gambler, I realize this fun is what heroin is to a drug user. I know once the ride is over, life problems will still be there.
Last two years I've started to tackle the problems I have in life. Some have been tough decisions and required real soul searching and honesty. I know theres still a lot of work that needs to be done, there will be no doubt be more problems that will arrise. Thou I feel I am a more happier, positive and confident person in life. Relations with family, friends and work colleagues have been improved, some burnt bridges have been rebuilt. Theres a still a lot of hard work to be done to rebuild the damage cause by years of compulsive gambling, the main thing is my life is moving forward.
Thankyou to anyone who reads this. I once thought that long term abstaining from gambling was impossible. Now I know it is possible. I know the road to recovery is different for everyone, you have to find what works for you. For some it easier than others. The lessons I've learned is just admit you have gambling problem. Be honest with yourself and decide deep down is gambling in my life making me happy? Once I jumped throught these hoops, it gave me a foundation to build upon. Yes I relapsed more time than I care to remember. After each one I felt like I was back to square one, I felt like throwing the towl in and just accepting this is my life. But I just refused to surrender, I picked myself up and just kept going each time.
Stay strong, no surrender!
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
