Start of quitting

Day 39. I told my best friend last night that I'm in gambling recovery. Sort of poured it all out while drunk on a train, not ideal but it happened. I'm pleased I've told someone but I wish I'd told him when I was sober. This weekend was a good test, I'd been paid, was at a football match in an area where I'm not barred from the bookies, been drinking heavily ( first proper drinking session since quit gambling) and I didn't cave in and have a bet. I feel good, brain is focused on positives, I feel in control now which for long periods of my life I haven't DAY 39 I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY.

Hi BB

After a while it will become a matter of fact that you no longer gamble. At first it is strange to admit it. However there are millions of people that can honestly say that don't gamble so all we are doing is joining them. Take care

And you passed a massive test, well done!

I agree with you, going to an area where you are not self-excluded is always a massive challenge.

It's all about making the right choices for yourself and you should be very proud of yourself for doing so.

Onwards and upwards!

GT

Thanks Smiler and getting there for your support. It is now starting just to seem normal not gambling. I went to see the friend that I told whilst half cut on Saturday last night and explained everything again, clearly and soberly. He' s a good listener, and a good friend, I'm lucky. It's difficult tho telling a good friend that knows you well about how this disease ravages you, and how low and in dispair I had become. Life is clearer now, easier. DAY 40 I will not gamble today.

Day 43- Its been a busy week at work, off today tho so going to hit the driving range soon. In the last 43 days I have spent about £50 on me(luxuries) its amazing how far my wages go when I'm not blowing it all gambling. It's going to takes a couple of years to save back what I lost , but I will. Still feeling good, gamble free and not drinking as much has out me in a good place. Day 43 I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY.

Looking forward to the weekend, going round to friends for a few drinks. Stay strong everyone. DAY 44 IWILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY.

Day 48 closing in on a half century of gamble free days, something I didn't think I could achieve. It's amazing what I can do when my mind is focused. Was it only December when I used to wake, and the first thing that came into my head was last nights gambling losses. Not wanting to get out of bed and face my family because of the utter shame I was hiding. The best thing that has come out of all this apart from not gambling is how I now enjoy my family time and realise the importance of spending these years with my wife and two young babes. Quality family time is impossible when your gambling, as everything else becomes irrelevant. From the depths of Hidden despair has arisen a happy man. DAY 48 I will not gamble today!

Hi BB,

Thanks for dropping by my diary. I am so glad to see you doing amazingly well. 48 days is a real achievement. I see a lot of similarities between us. I am bored with football too. I still watch. Fall asleep on the settee watching live games. Great excuse to catch a quick nap! Horse racing LOL. Not interested at all. Love my golf and used to bet on it a lot. Now I go to the range instead.

Enjoying family life too and yes it feels good to be free of being occupied with all those thoughts.

Keep doing exactly what you have been. Don't change a thing. I am sure your positive attitude will see you through.

Best wishes, IanB.

Can't wait for it to warm up a bit, its been too cold for golf today so i've been a bit bored. Looking forward to the weekend though because its my birthday on Saturday and we are having a bit of a party at the house. Still no thoughts of gambling. 50 not out for me today, so im proud i've reached a first milestone, first of many that is. DAY 50 I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY.

well done and congrats on the big 50 big bessie,

I am 10 days behind you and hope that next tuesday it will be my 50 days,

keep it going and well done

Thanks Mr its time, all the best to you too. Day 53, been suffering today my birthday party turned into a late night, but worth it tho. I am blessed with some excellent friends and a lovely family who all contributed to a wonderful night. Day 53 I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY.

Valentines day.... done the cards and flowers thing. Day 55 without gambling, i've felt a bit down the last day or 2, don't really know why. Since i've quit i do seem to go up and down a bit without any real explanation. Maybe this is having a deeper mental effect on me than i realised. Never mind, i'll battle on. DAY 55 I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY!

Had a phone call this morning from a online betting firm wanting to put a bonus in my account. I went mad at them because my account is closed and I am self excluded. They apologised, but I think they just ring people looking to get them started again. I don't think they will ring me again tho. Tried to watch the champions league footy last night, but I've just no interest in it now I've no bets riding on it. Just a few more hours here at work, then I'm off till Friday night. DAY 56 I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY

These weekends seem to fly around, can hardly believe its Saturday again tomorrow. Having a night out tomorrow for a friends birthday, few drinks and a Indian so should be good. No thoughts of gambling, still focused. DAY 58 I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY.

into the 60's-- Day 61. No thoughts of gambling this weekend. The hardest thing i've found with quitting is that normal life is fairly boring, mundane even. There is nothing in my life now that gives that rush of gambling. Don't get me wrong, i'll never go back to how i was, it is just that learning to live without the rush, the ups and downs is probably the hardest thing of the lot. After years of only living my life one way, learning to become "normal" is going to take some getting used to. DAY 61 I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY.