Hi fast life.....I now have this view of you as an old man!! Ten years wasted.....but you are making up for it now. Have you been trashing anything recently? 8 months is great fella....hopefully I'll always be a few weeks behind you. Russ
Hi every 1 hope you all steering clear of any form of gambling!!
Fast Li£e
I miss your wit fastlife. Stay safe pal.
Smokes
Tnx 4 da post smokes.
....Hey I am wondering about all this.............I dont want you guys really to read or even think about this, because whilst we are here we are safe from gambling for the time being. However, why is it that the urge is still as fresh as the day I stopped? well it isnt but it would be easier now to let it slip back in...because the almighty pain is now just a scratch ..or at least it feels that way....Flipping hell I want a lot...It isnt money I want... I just want to be happy...someone to admire and put all my effort into.... does such a person exist?.....All the time we gambled was becuase of an underlying problem in our life?...Search me what it actually is......
Wow...I just contemplated gambling...looking back on my diary made me think? hmmm I have completed the test of not gambling for a long time then butterflies built up in my gut..... For an instance, just a flicker I felt like I was back to square one......I know it is me feeling down or whatever?...Who cares...I think the reason is unthinkable..."A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings" Hippocrates
...Well I have thought about this quote and I believe that this guy probably came up with these famous lines when he was on his deathbed?......Because, even a wise man likes to damage their health in some way or other, it is lifes little pleasures isnt it?....So, for that reason I assumed this guy wasnt in very good health at the time and gave the I TOLD YOU SO ,impression......Well, anyway I hope I havnt bored anyone to death reading this....and I just want myself and you guys to focus on positive stuff from now on...let bygones be bygones....just take a deeep breath and be thankful for whatever you have... however hard it may seem.....
D.
Well im preparing 4 dissertation...the stress of everyday life is building up...The landlord reckons we owe him 4k?...To top this up the boiler has packed up and its freezing....Also, I had a drink at the weekend and I still feel weakend from that ..ohh yeh I spent a couple hundred on fireworks and guess what none of them worked cozzz they got soaked... (plus my missus fell over and dislocated shoulder)...Life at the moment seems it has grabbed me by the nuts and is just twisting them...making me wonder if I am actually better off by not gambling?....Me and my missus are not best friends at the moment.....It seems everyone turns their back on you when you are a loser...and when you have stuff you just get used...So, whats the point....I really havnt gambled since my starting point and I'm chuffed to bits about that...it is down to me, yu guys and gamcare..... tnx 4 tht.
Fast li£e.
D.
Hi D,
Totally understood your last sentence but will hopefully will catch u in chat to talk about it.
Hope you are okay mate.
Smokes
Hi, kids do you know wht time it is?..dya wanna see me stick nine inch nails to each wan a my eyelids my brains dead weighed im trying to get payed......
And on a lighter note boom boom get it lighter note!..I hope you guys aint losing all ya hard earned cash...Keep ya loot and enjoy your life....Spend it on a beautiful girl...go on holiday...Enjoy life!! Because it will all be over soon....
No regrets!!!
Fast li£e!
Ciao
Good 2nd paragraph Fast, stay away from 9 inch nails lol
Keep your chin up buddy.
Speak soon, Smokey
Haaaa smokes... I was in stitches (not from the nine inch nails) when I read that post...
Good 1 m8t I hope you are ok?.....
Take care.
Dervynne
Fast Li£e.
Now the FaSt li£e cut him like a knife
I'm about to tell you a story that's not so nice...
Its about a fashion kid who was full of tricks
Growing up 2 fast and much too quick..
A real "SMART KID" who never went to class
cozz he was to busy out there jetting fast
2 all the kids that school was sqaure
He did the things they woudnt dare
Now he never ever bothered with playing school games...he was to busy out there commiting crimes
Didnt have no morals and show no shame and he didnt grow up playing childhood games
coz what he sees is all he knows, and its hot to the street where anything goes
I'm talking drugs and gun crime and corruption
the kid is heading for self destruction......
By the age of twelve he was pulling strings he had his hands on everything...
Doing crazy things to impress his friends he stole the keys to a brand new benz..
Got behind the wheel it was just for fun
then he saw the cops and started to run..
and like a chase scene from a movie script he hit the gas and started to dip
Didnt see that lady with her child and tried to stop but the car went wild...
She saw that car and started to shout but it slammed in to her and took her out...
He was too young to be in the life of crime any other kid it was past their bedtime..
Fast life he likes to wheel and deal
Fast life he likes to rob and steal
fast life..hey bwoy dont you jet so fast
BY the age of thirteen he set the scene.. he was tyring to make some heavy green
Started selling C*****e and bottles of dust money became hes only lust..
To make cold cash with whatever was about he was the man with the plan of a big guy now!
He said im not down with the goverments plan ...so i might as well take all I can!!
Now that selfish stupid kinda mentality..
Is the kind of thing that keeps you in the street......
I said hey Fast li£e why dont you use your head?
Cozz if you dont you'll soon be dead!!
By the age of fourteen he was sharking machines cozz thts easy to gain some green
It wasnt easy and it became so tuff
he had to steal just to stay up!
Well its easy to say but hard to do.. this young boy didnt have a clue?
By the age of fifteen he was doing ATMs cozz this was the only way to make a living Fast wasnt the one for really givin
To make cold cash to put on the 4.15 the way he did it was like a dream...
Till one day a gaurd gave him a shock but fast turned around and gave him a shot..
He ended up on a charge in hmp...This boy was only 15.
Fast life you have had enuff
Fast life its gonna get tuff
Fast life how are you gonna turn ya life around?
Fast life you are going down!
Where there is a way there is a will
but all fast knew is how to steal..
Doing time isnt funny
your life is ruined all because of money..
He wasnt a bad boy lol tbc
LOL.....TBC
I CANNOT WIN AS I CANNOT STOP!!
hope things are good my friend, its been a long long time since we last spoke.
i hope the last post was just a preview of your new hit hip hop album. keep us posted with your progress mate, its good to hear from you
Thanx Lee..
I have just read all of my diary and I still think that you guys are proffesionals at helping me face my demons...It was a really good series of events and guess what? I came through it all unscathed.....Thank you guys...Ohh by the way I'm going to start posting again...Although I dont really think that I am going to ever go back to my old ways...Its just I want to continue and advise where I can because I love this site and you guys are great...I missed chat tonight by a splinter (or nail)....I am a compulsive person in every way...OCD mebbe?...lol who knows...narsssicistic..NEVER not me maybbe you are.....Anyway peace and love to everyone on this planet...EVERYONE!!
Fast li£e
Does any 1 kno a website where you can sort out a midlife crisis?.....
Anyway, Diary its good to be back and yes I go very close to gaming machines all the time. For instance; today I was in the arcade for tanning beds...(my gym dont do them anymore) and I thought to myself that I was better than those mugs in there..How selfish is that?....For years I used to live in them places...It was funny because it was like a little safe community for gamblers to have a laugh and joke....Until they have lost all there money...then it must be gooodbye! Funny because last time I gambled in there I actually won £500 on about 40 quid...And you know what I aint even tempted to play....I am relieved...Time will heal all your wounds it is an amazing life right to the end!!
Peace & love.
Dervynne
Thats a pretty dam hard journey you have been on. Hope you get easier sailings from now on.
Stay well and keep the faith.
Regs
C
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
