Really massive thank you for all of your support....especially to the last few who posted on to my diary...I really do have a lot of stress in my life at the moment...ummmmm???...Or do I?
Well to be honest I dont know ...All I do know is that I go to work at 6pm flipping fries in KFC for minimum wage... woo hoo...well thats a bonus...Secondly, I graduate at Wembly stadium in the morning with my First class Honors degree...So, why do I feel like s**t...
.Its like this...1. Nearly 2 years ago I spent 12k on gambling...Then I managed to quit for 18mnths...Thats when real life hit me and I started searching for other pleasures in life...I really wanted a kid with my partner and it never happened...Then I got head over heels about a girl and she wasnt interested...Finally, I went to Thailand after failing my interview for Msc and spent over 15k on myself and a bird I just met...And now shes pregnant I am back with my UK partner, so, I went out the other day and lost 2k.... what do you think... have I got any problems??....I dont think so....All I have to do is Stop Gambling...Sort out my Uk missus of 17 years... and be really proud that im going to be a father with a Thai girl (believe me im happy)....I just hope it all works out!! (however im still unsure about everything) lol
What I believe is that me stopping gambling, was good...but, im sure that I created my destiny and all the settings were in place for me to seek this lady and be with her...It is crazy to believe...but you are the creator of your own destiny....I am a firm believer now of this scenario.... The moral of the story is be happy and be rich at the same time...These two things DO NOT work very well together...But we can only try to succeed...
Easy li£e
I thought my life was complicated.
You are coping with all that and still beating the urges, I take my hat off to you.
Stay strong, as you said you believe in destiny, hopefully giving up gambling is part of that destiny.
Take care
J.f.T
Kaza
All the problems and stuff, are just a small part of our lives...they aint actually our lives!!
If yu catch my drift??
Hi mate. Day 3 for me. Have read yr diary and got some really good messages from you and I am gonna chant yr message when I get my urges. Cheers pal. Never give up the fight.
Tnx guys...I aint gonna give up the fight...Very busy on minimum wage but it is a starting point for me!!
Easy li£e
i still managed to throw most of my money away..even tho i never gambled...but it was hell of an adventure...and it was quicker to spend but i must try to enjoy spending money...us recovering cgs dont like spending..thats why we gamble...for free money i suppose?... haha it goes around and around.... confused?...i am...
easy li£e
I realised something...I am stupid!
Easy Li£e
You are only stupid when you have been "hypnotised" by greedy gambling bosses.
GT
yu are right GT...
I just checked my credit score its 853. fair!! woo hoo..not bad for a recovering cg?
I think that I'll check my credit score when I have fully repaid all of my debts in 2013!
GT
you should...because i never knew that if you not on electoral role then its negative...however, they found out i was and it has boosted my score to 953..which is good.. Im quite pleased lol.
Easy li£e
Well...It goes like this I wanted to reduce my outgoings by getting a consolidation loan (to repay off my 11.5 k bill)...However, it only reduced the monthly outgoings by £30 (around £350) so, I still went ahead and got the approval and sent of the form with signature...However, I thought long about having the 13k loan and ending up not actually paying off my exsisting loan and in huge debts that I couldnt possibly pay off on my salary... The most sensible thing I did is ring the loan people and cancel their petty 10year policy (existing one has only 4yrs)...I realised that although I could have a great time with this money I would succumb to nothing and be in the red unable to do anything for a verryy verry looong time...
Very wise move towards an... Easy li£e
P.s
no thoughts on gambling...not yet anyway...so, its good...I dont need to I guess?
I believe that satisfaction is the most difficult thing to find...The more I look and search the planet for it, the less chance I have of finding it...
In retrospect, It should be a life of work...Like a machine?...Yes work, work and work..It is the way we were designed... Forget about other stuff.
A psychologist once told me... You can work through your anger... The other thing that he said is, once you have money, and the need to hunt for it, surpasses...you start to bring yourself closer to yourself and it may trigger a whole new catalogue of events that were once invisible; maybe because of your struggle with trying to find food for so long? (and gambling)...
One day society will realise that everything we do is driven by urges.... Drugs, womanising, gambling and anything else that springs to mind is what people need to understand... For me I have desperately tried to find new learnt processes to compensate my gambling urges..What I really need to do now is totally understand everything I have been doing and STOP all of it...Whether it be ******, ***** or whatever.... Maybe I should look towards a religion or something...I am sure I can do something?
I cant understand why people are bitter?? Material things i used to crave...Nowadays, I am looking towards people to find what I want...I think that external things isnt where the answer lies... It is 100% internal.
Easy li£e
I wish I could mute my partner...
Easy li£e
Well i mean x partner...
Today I go to work and I not feelin that good..
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