Starting again.

I have an interesting read:

http://www.addictiontreatment…beat-your-gambling-addiction/

Let it go

Fella when I read your post on my thread this morning for the first time in a long time I will admit I felt anger.

An emotion I have found balance with in my recent life, an emotion that used to lead me straight to one place, the bookies to do my boll#ocks. Why did I feel angry??

f**k I don't know you, for all I know you may not even excist, you may be here to f**k with my mind??

Well I got angry because you write like a ghost of my past, full of remorse for the actions of yesterday, full of regret, you profess to want help but seem not to want to take it.

I will ask you a serious question, one that only you can answer, one that will tell yourself a great deal, more than any website, GA room, this forum or any other form of addiction clinic will.

If you had a pocket full of folding would you have typed that post, or would you be stood infront of a machine chasing your £500 dream????

For me the answer was twenty years in the making, for twenty years folk offered me reasoned, sound advice.

The worst thing was some folk thought paying off my debt was the answer, truth is that just gifted me another gamble free pass, I never took any of the get out of jail free cards, i simply saw them as a reason to go back at it, I have stood in your shoes.

I could tell you to go to GA, the advice you would recieve is the same as that website you posted, but something they both share in common is this simple fact.

Until you have had enough of losing you will fella continue to be a loser.

Like me you may consider yourself lucky in love, because truthfully it amazes me my missus is still by my side, f*****g no way I would have taken the sh#it i threw her way.

The damage is done again, how you came about 400 notes to feed into a machine, I don't care, it's done.

I have stood in front of a machine chasing the same £500 dream whilst my missus is stood next to me crying, tears running down her face, me did I care.

Well just one more spin!!!! it will never be just one more spin, the paultry amount you will ever win will never be enough.

bottom line is you have a choice to make.

Admit defeat, start recovery, or wait for this sh#it storm to pass, bide your time act or remorsefull and as soon as the opportunity comes go back at it!!

Oh you know it will be different next time!!

We all know the f*****g truth there.

As I said fella, I have walked in your shoes, I have been there, your post could have be taken straight out of a page, any page in my gambling life.

I thank you for it, I know why it is totally unacceptable for me to wage a single penny on any forms of gambling. Today I know what that brings, a responability, one I own

Time for you to ask yourself the most important question

Do I want to stop.

I wish you well

Duncs

Thanks

Duncan. I can see why you are angry. It looks like I'm taking the ***, I guess I am? However; today is day 1. And I am silently going to beat this. Without all the fighting and noise that goes around in my head. I will do it this time. To add, your posts help me a lot. Thank you.

I have spiralled into this depressive state because I came back to nothing. The money is gone but I still have a loving family, this rock bottom situation of mine is temporary. I feel great that I self excluded from my nearest bookie. The thing is, my problem is when I engage in gambling I can't stop. I now know this and its something that I will have to beat.

Gambling diary;

20/01/14-----Day 1

20/01/15----Day 365 (my goal)

Hi

You seem to know all the right things to say but are not taking them entirely to heart.

You know you cant stop once you start (like me) but you still do it in the first place. You need to realise that you are walking yourself into those bookies, nobody is forcing you. I agree CG can get a hold of us once we start but you have the control not to go there.

Can I ask why it has taken 3 years to self exclude from your nearest bookie?

Is it possible that you are using gambling as some sort of self destructive mechanism because you feel like you need to punish yourself? If so I would really suggest some 1-2-1 couselling to deal with any underlining issues you may have.

I would love to see you posting on here this time next year saying that you have had a gamble free year and you will get as much support from your friends here as you need.

All the best

Linda x 42 days free x

No bet so far, SO GOOD... for what seems like a lifetime since I last gambled...I am happy that I haven't gambled (win or lose)....

Really looking forward to a life without betting...

The side effect from not gambling I must say ain't good..

One last thing a good way to not gamble is try to forget about it...I read it in a religious book....If you think about doing something then its close to actually doing it...Just a thought...Thinking about not doing it is better...Which means find something to do..I have started to jog..

I have made it through to another day...I ca say I won't do it again a billion times!!...But they are just words.The reAL TEST IS TIME.

Well done on staying gamble free and just remember you can do this!

Lindax

Fella

One day at a time, life will improve, have you considered whilst your resolve is strong self excluding from more bookies in your local area, get some blocks in place.

Then enjoy the journey.

No more doing your boll#ocks in a £500 dream breaker.

Well done, keep making the right choice

duncs stepping forward never back.

Thank for the support...I really appreciate it guys...So, important!

Today, is a lazy day..Got up late, I lay awake last night, maybe that's why I got up late? Looking for work is a drag..I'm not sure about my pathway at the moment, I probably hid the problems that immediately pose a risk to my future by gambling...I just wish I hadn't come back and done it...

Yes, Duncan I will be visiting the other bookies if I can't control it...But I am sure that the first move was such a huge step it has got me on the offense!

I did not gamble today!

Hi, it's been 1 week since I gambled. I try not to let the thought to enter my mind, if it does I push it away.

I have a job interview today. It isn't a prestigious opportunity. I have heard the job market has opened recently however, I don't believe it, I count myself lucky to get to interview stage.

It's been 10 days...No luck on finding work...But I'm not going to let the pressure build up.

I never gambled today.

Hi there,

Never give up giving up. Keep looking and you will find. Rome wasn't build in a day...everything will come in time.

Strength and honour to you

Keep on keeping on, you are doing well.

Take care.

Sandra

Hi,

TY Sandra...

Well it's a new month, I am optimistic...The milestone for me was walking in to a bookies and banning myself for five years..It's drastic action that takes bwalls...So, I don't think I'm going to have a scamble in the future...

I have ups and downs but this time it's a homeostasis all the way....I have £100 today my kind girlfriend gave it to me..I won't be tempted for sure!!!

I never gambled today!

Well done on self excluding,its a must for us cg's,any help we have to take. I aint been in a bookies for years,but they were the most depressing places I have set foot in,not missed.

Good luck on the job front,and all the best abstaining from gambling,- you know it 'we can't win cos we can't stop'.