Starting again

Hiya.. our situations have many similarities. My thoughts are with you.

Like you suggest, just focus on YOUR priorities.. rent, council tax, electric... The banks want you to do this to. The man at barclaycard actually said to me, don't pay us until your priority bills are in order. We are bottom of the pile he said... and he's right... it makes no difference to the banks and pay loan companies whether you pay them or not.. they carry on regardless. Thye can't take what you don't have. But if you don't pay rent you WILL lose the roof over your head... eventually.

Most of my creditors have got me on what they call a "medical hold"... they recognise gambling addiction for what it is... an illness.

Maybe like me, you get impatient about wanting to get well and pay everything off. Its deep breaths and hold on, look to the long term, no quick fix... Its ever so hard. Its a struggle.. we carry on

Take care

Day 5

Still feeling positive about staying gf especially as yesterday would definitely had been a time I would previously gamble (although it was everyday anyway it just had higher risks yesterday)

Good advice on the debts and you are right it is an illness

Also got hospital this morning which would normally result in gambling as its a stressor.

Had an emotional day

Hospital OK. Appointment with surgeon on 6th Feb for a plan

OH gets paid tomoro and I am meant to get £250. Need to spread it out sensibly

Had a rent arrears letter today. Won't be able to catch up until payday (26th) will pay some tomoro. Council tax due Monday too

Trying not to stress too much but its hard

Glad to be gamble free

i have signed up to hear as I would like to try a friend who is like me and gambles at similar times so the next time I can message them instead and have a buddy like alcoholics do? I don’t know if that’s something anyone would be interested in but I’m serious about giving up the big time gambling. Iv never joined this before but I have been working really hard for 6 months to better myself and stop the gambling. I entered into councelling and built up the courage to leave my partner who I genuinely believe in directly forced me to gamble as I felt I owed him and needed to buy his affection. I have always felt this of people and I am trying to learn I don’t need to.

I have been doin so well last few months I won’t deny I have had a couple of splutters but nothing in excess of the hundreds and yes disgustingly some days thousands I was gambling. It got to the point I could win £1500 on a spin after putting down £900 odd and feel nothing and the same for losing. I didn’t even get upset I was just numb and looking when I could next log on with money to try again. Lately I have had £50 nights which isn’t great as frankly I’m skint. Iv had to move home to my parents as I am in so much debt I couldn’t afford my house, Iv lost jobs as I can’t get up in a morning so I’m late or don’t go in because I have been up all night on roulette, Iv got to the lowest point before everyone ditching me and me becoming homeless and jobless on the streets.

I gambled £50 this evening and it’s the sickest I have felt in at least a year, I am so disappointed with myself as it’s all I had and I had managed to keep that in the bank for a week without doing it. I really feel let down with myself . I would really like people’s support from guys who genuinely understand the feeling we can’t control. That’s the worst bit because I don’t understand it and get angry that people think we can just quit but even watching tv adverts are tellin us to go and do it it feels like there’s no escape and I’m so angry

Day 6

Hope today is a better day for you. I can empathise with your story and it is an addiction its not as easy as just saying you will stop. Its hard work to stop.

I thought I had excluded myself but every day seems to have another email or text with a promo offer. So fat I have logged on to missed sites and excluded. It just takes one c**P day when my control is lower for me to login and deposit instead of cancelling.

Today could be a bad day. Finally have money in the bank. Not enough to clear the bills which would tempt me to gamble to win. I'm determined not to do this. I need to work out how to spread it out and have enough to live on too. Withdraw from bank so I can't gamble if I feel tempted later

Taking back control

Hi, don't do it - save your money, you'll just be throwing it away, if not today it would be some day soon.
You asked about Gamban. Personally, I've had no trouble whatsoever with it.
It's brilliant. It won't let you onto any gambling sites. If you try it just comes up saying you are blocked.
Mentally, I know now there's no point trying so I don't. It definitely makes it easier not to gamble because I know it won't work . I personally never had enough willpower when I knew I had money in bank. I would go for days spending wasted hours thinking shall I or shan't I? Maybe this time I'll win - blah de blah de blah. Then eventually I give in and we all know about the resulting losses!
That doesn't happen now because my head knows I can't even get on to try. It's so much better, I don't sit struggling against temptation because for me my gambling was just online.
It cost me just over £10 for one device, my android phone. I know it goes up in price for the more devices you block.
It was easy to do and my phone seems to run just the same so I'm happy with it.
I hope this helps.
All good wishes x

Day 7

Good advice will have a look at it. I'm online only too.

Pleased to got through my first gamble free week.

I withdrew the money and did as I said I would. OH gambled though even though he keeps saying its the last time everytime.

Feeling sorry for myself today though. Got sore throat/cold. My tooth broke last night and its the time of the month. Can't afford to go to dentist which really upsets me as its my own fault really from gambling and getting in such a state.

Feeling a bit low but I know a month from now I will be glad I stayed gamble free

Still feel P**P but the mother in law is going to lend me the money to go to dentist

Be glad when the rent and council tax are back up to date

Day 8

Didn't get much sleep. Daughter up half the night as she felt poorly

Work today so should be an easy gf day. Can't gamble anyway as I took money out the bank (except ВЈ10) after doing the food shop yesterday I have £2 to live on plus tenner in bank. Get child benefit Monday but should use that to pay council tax. Hate all this juggling. Still have a couple of debts who haven't set up plans so will be getting charged from them too

Oh well I can only do what I can with the money I have. The main thing is not to gamble

Just re-emailed the stubborn debts. Let's see if they respond.

Been reading your old posts and you seem to have the same issue you had previously. I hope you do like you did before almost a year gf and more this time. But until you have more support at home I think you will struggle 🙁

Day 9

Thank you. I dont have much support at home and not much has changed either. I may have to have major surgery soon too which is stressful. I dont know why I have used gambling as an escape etc it became a way of life. I gave in after years of hating the OH doing it. Which is not rational at all. I can't fathom how my mind works. I use things as a substitute/crutch. I just know I can't live like this anymore

Double figures tomoro which is great but its probably going to take a couple of months to see the benefits and stop stressing so much

Staying strong. Taking this one day at a time

Day 10

OH on nights which would normally mean gambling till the early hours.

Not been tempted yet today. Got into a series and watched a few episodes instead

Day 11

Have no real inclination to gamble at the moment.

Mind is pre occupied with other things such as rent arrears council tax bills and debt.

Also keeping busy reading or watching Netflix (could be doing lots of other things around the house but I'm being kind to myself at the mo)

Slimming world tonight. Not doing great at the moment substituting food for gambling a bit I think. I know I will feel better when I lose weight and eat healthy. I know gambling can coincide with emotions too. So it would only be a good thing. But I have many demons to battle and dont always have the energy to do them all together

Feeling positive I'm in double figures.

Day 12

Feeling tired low and a bit poorly. All reasons to give in easily but I'm still feeling determined. OH gets paid tomoro so I get the house keeping. Need to work out where to spend it best. No doubt he will gamble some of it away even though he says he will stop. I can only help myself and will carry on doing so