Starting again

Day 43

Still gf. Feeling frustrated today. Need something else to turn to in times of stress.

Hi Wants2Stop,

​this is none of my business but from reading your diary, you seem to be struggling to hold up a household here and debts. Your OH can gamble away his wages, what contribution is he making to the bill paying, or putting food on the table. It must be unbearable to be trying to manage it all. But while your sat worrying, he is still gambling away his wages. I take my hat off to you, because I couldn't deal with that. Your putting your head down and trying to make a better life for yourself, very disheartened you must be.Julie

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Day 45

Still gf. Yes Julie very true. He does contribute just not enough and not as much as he could. I can't be overly 'holy than thou' to him as I have been in the same place but it does wind me up. At least I try

Day 47

Staying strong. Been really stressed this past week though which I would normally turn to something like gambling. Hate Wednesdays as OH gets paid early hours on Thurs. I never sleep well

Honey,I have followed you for a while especially since you have given birth to beautiful Paige. Try and be positive for you and distance yourself from your OH if you can. You are fighting a battle, it may be alone, but you are doing so well, keep going xx

Hi WTS

I am following your journey also. I believe more than one person shouts out loud for ypu to make a decision re OH! There is no help from him to you whatsoever. In a sense, it's abusive and neglecting.

Do you deserve more? Absolutely!

Ultimately the decision is yours. You're brave lady, very brave...follow your dreams and goals - you're worth it!

X

Day 48 my friend and stress is normally what breaks me also, so well done on remaining so strong, protect your Gamble Free days and keep adding to them, work yourself to that magic mark of 100 days gamble free and onwards.

All the best

Wilsy

Day 48

Thanks for all the support and advice. I worth more but at the moment I'm still fighting for my relationship. Whether I will win or lose we will find out in the end.

Having some health scares and not being well has put some things in perspective. I'm trying to sort out my life the best I can. Putting energy into trying to sort finances and feel better. Started reading more and having time for myself. Trying to build up my confidence. Started some self help books too. Trying to be more positive.

My biggest reason is my daughter. I'm important too but she is my motivating factor

I'm not perfect. We have hard times and I find it hard sometimes. But I want to be the best parent I can be.

Stopping gambling makes me a better person. I need to stay strong

Day 51

Not many urges this time I think my mind has been expanded to bigger worries and concentrating on debt and getting out of it. Not to say I have none but this does feel like an easier journey for me but a battle with OH still. I dont have the power to change our lives as much as he does. I dont earn enough. Feel positive about being gf. Keeping busy. Enjoying reading as an escape instead

51 days without a bet is excellent but sadly your OH Is still squandering money on gambling. By not giving you adequate support in clearing debts, paying bills etc he must be putting an intolerable strain on your recovery and general well being.

Your determination to stay gamble free is a testament to your courage, discipline and integrity. With what your having to go through many would have buckled under the stress and strain of it all. You have been so brave coping with your health issues, looking after your daughters welfare and tackling your financial problems as best you can.

You obviously have great inner strength and a lot of character. I sincerely hope you can get your problems sorted out and enjoy a peaceful life of happiness and fulfilment. Respectfully yours... stephen x

Congratulations, you made it to 50 days so well done!!
Keep on this road, you will grow stronger, your confidence will return, your daughter will get the best from you and then you may feel strong enough to deal with the bigger picture.
If only you could get your husband to make sure the bills are covered first but I bet you're saying tell me something I don't know!
Just want to say don't give up hope. Hope is only a short word but its meaning in times like these can be so big and helps us get through these tricky days. Only good can come for you and your daughter by stopping gambling, youre doing amazingly well and it sounds like you're trying all you can to help yourself. take care, you can do this!! x

Day 52

Thanks for those kind words both. You have really uplifted me. I dont feel strong or good or anything nice about myself most the time. I feel guilty and bad but those words make me look at it a little differently

So thank you again

Day 53

Payday and stressful. Never enough money to pay everything always a juggle. Most things in payment arrangements now. Just sorting out last 3. Its good to have arrangements as the debts start going down. But I still struggle for a long while as the debt is a large chunk of my Money so really have to budget and live a simple/worrisome life. It can only get better NY not gambling

OH still gambling everyday. Getting on my last nerve. He's on nights this week and I would usually gamble the nights away. The added stress of sorting finances would tip me over. Been turning to food for comfort instead but that's not good. When i get weighed at slimming world tonight if I put on I will be upset. Which is another trigger

Staying strong. Looking to the future. Hoping I won't be struggling forever!

Hi have seen some of your posts and just read your diary, you are one strong Lady!! I can relate to so many things, mainly sick of juggling figures and constantly thinking about money. I have about the same amount of debt but it is going down slowly but surely. Indeed don't forget to be kind to yourself, take care S:)

Day 54

Still proud to be gf.

Such kind words. I don't have much self worth. Trying to build on that.

I know it will all work out in the end its going to be a struggle. I shouldn't wish my life away hoping to be out of debt. I need to live my life. Enjoy my life the best I can. Money does limit that somewhat but I am going to try my best