Starting again

Finding it hard tonight. Lots of temptations

Hang in there. It's nearly lights out and tomorrow is another day...stephen

Day 67

Last night was hard but I got through it. Dreamt I gambled though and thought it was true at first when I woke up.

Felt like giving in last night but my new credit report came today and it's up 66 points (128 out of 999) now really terrible but better than it was. That has given me incentive.

Having some urges but got a lot to keep me busy too

Big up for handling those urges, it's a great feeling the morning after to know you haven't gambled...cherish it and remember when urges try to win you over.67 days is brilliant, take care Sx

Day 68

I am pleased with myself. Just had council tax bill in. Another stress £1200 for a 1 bedroom flat!

This budget is very tight

Thanks for popping by w2s, indeed I'm feeling good but still have long way to go financially and also I was over thinking yesterday and came to the conclusion that I have very little self belief. But on the plus side I have come a long way and do have you! Living on a tight budget sucks but getting through every day is the only way and slow things get better, take care S 🙂

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Day 71

10 weeks and counting. Stopping gambling changes so much. Mood. Time. Emotions. And on and on. The last 10 weeks have been life changing but I also have very little belief in myself I think subconsciously I know at some point I will gamble again (hence the dreams)

In a way thinking I can never gamble again makes me feel worse. Like I need to. Its only a matter of time before I mess up.

Trying to stay positive. Reading self help books and enrolled on a stress management course too

Getting close to that 100 mark now

Motivation was sorting out those debts but all my money is going on chiropractor now and although if it works its worth it its another added stress as I physically can't afford it. I have to remember I couldn't afford gambling most days but managed to do that too. Its hard seeing money and its value in different perspectives. Could spend a couple hours losing hundreds online

Day 73

Urges been reduced recently. Reading a lot especially self help. Working on me. Investing time in me for the first time

Really glad to hear you thinking about yourself! I used feel a bit selfish sometimes when I put myself first but self care is needed and really does help with recovery. I can see your 100th day in the bear distance, go for it Sx

Day 75

I do have boughts of guilt investing time and money in myself but if I'm not functioning then I can't be a good mother either

Hello W2S,

You should never feel guilty about looking after yourself. As you say you are "investing in yourself" thats the best investment anyone can make. The choice to better the person you are to everyone around you. You matter and you should be ok saying that to yourself. Your doing great, keep at it.

All the best.

Very well done, read ur whole diary and its been a rollercoaster but uve made it this far u can do it

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Day 76

Thanks for the support

Had a really strong urge to gamble earlier. I didn't but its the worst I have had since the beginning few weeks.

I'm not saying its been easy. I have thought about gambling every day so far as I can remember but not strong enough to give in

OH gambled away his wages again so probably part of my brain saying if you can't beat them join them subconsciously. Also I am really struggling financially so my little demon probably thinks it's an easy way to male money

OH on nights. So could be hard one for me tonight. But I will be strong

Hugs!! Must be so hard when your OH is still gambling but you know you can stay strong, do it for you! Take care Sx