Starting again

Day 77

Fed up today. OH in a stupid mood. Probably because of his gambling. Up to my limit. He has been winding me up. It is 2 battles I'm fighting

Day 80

Still gf just been too busy to check in

Just caught up with your diary and want to say a massive well done. Staying gf in such difficult conditions is a great achievement.
Keep on going. Why gamble?? you are winning already - look at those debts reducing!!!
Hope your daughter is loving her new gf mum!!
All good wishes x

Day 83

Gambling dream again last night. Few urges again. Yes I'm sure she is loving the gf me. Staying strong

Been having urges lately. Not sure of trigger. Probably stress and seeing OH gamble sometimes doesn't help. The problem is when I think to myself I can never ever gamble again. I get scared. I want to do it even more. Strange. Anyone else feel like this?

I used to feel the same, its strange - get butterflies when you think you 'will never do it again'; I think its fear of having a normal life. It passes though, in the end. Keep on going, every month makes it easier.

Cheers, Jim

ps. I hate gambling and will never gamble again.

Day 86

Good to know I'm not alone. Feeling a bit low again lately. Tired and fed up

Hi you are genuinely not alone, sorry you're feeling fed up etc but you are striding on being GF which is brilliant! After being trapped in the gambling cycle for so long it is hard to let go, almost like a toxic comfort blanket. But there are better things out there just seems to take a long time for the fog to lift but it does and slowly good things shine through. Sorry if this is a bit rambly but yesterday I had a glimmer of hope about something I thought would never change. Keep going we are all 100% with you, hugs S:)

Day 89

Thanks for your support. Getting ever closer to 100 days now. Proud of myself so far. Just have a lot of other things going on and it sometimes gets so on top of you. Gambling was like am escape. Where you didn't think until it finished. I am good though hope is an amazing thing!.

Hi,
I know exactly what you mean with regards to both the thoughts of never gambling again and also using gambling as a comfort blanket and a means to escape.
I for one think that you are amazing being able to stay gamble free whilst knowing your other half still gambles. Never underestimate your achievements. Thoughts are just thoughts. They come and they go. To not act upon them is the important thing. From what people say on here it definitely gets easier. That's all we can ask. Miracles rarely happen but with our strength and determination our lives can and will improve.
100 days soon - now that's something to shout about!!
All good wishes x

Thanks feeling good and realising how well I am doing.

Bit late on debt figures. Standing at 21 debts and ВЈ12295.52 total. Gone up a bit as I always add council tax as a debt and new bill came in at nearly £1200 this month.

So 2/3 debt was ВЈ11423.97 so up ВЈ871.55 but will the council tax bill coming in at around ВЈ1200 its actually reduction of debt of £320ish this month. So not to be sniffed at. Finding it harder as forking out to chiropractor too.

Also thanks to whoever suggested debt camel website. Had my first payday loan refund the other day and another offer today. Going to use it to reduce debts. So thanks again

Getting close to the 100 day mark, well done. And with the payday loans refunds make sure if you accept an offer it’s a fair one, ive had two offers but both poor so I have gone to the FOS. Wasn’t accepting £150 when I’ve paid over 10 times that amount in interest. Make sure you know what you’ve paid out in interest before accepting them.

Day 91

Good advice. Had a couple of offers. Accepted 2 so far. Probably shouldn't have accepted one of them but the loans were mainly over 6 years. Sent a few to FOS as they didn't uphold complaint. Rejected 1 for ВЈ24 and one came in today £51 and clear last loan but I didnt know I had outstanding. Have emailed them to look into it. Have FOS upheld any for you

Feeling really low last 2 weeks not sure why really. Just blurgh

Sorry you're not feeling too good but you have done amazingly well to be so close to 100 days You are made of strong stuff even though probably don't feel like it, take care Sx