Stephen ~ Compulsive Gambler ~ Last bet 3rd January 2018.

Thamkyou Mixer & Sharon for posting on my diary. Hope your both having a good week.

I was struggling with chest pains and breathlessness so yesterday doctor prescribed me some antibiotics and steroid tablets. Don't like taking the steroids but needs must etc. Feeling a little perkier today.

Will be at my English class this afternoon with adult education, it's laid back, no pressure and good fun.

Going to cinema tonight than having a bite to eat in town with my good friend Nina. She has always been quite sympathetic towards my gambling issues.

Take care everyone, keep going forward a day at a time and lets be forever hopeful.

Hi Stephen ... good to see you doing "normal" things, going to the cinema, having a bit to eat, things we dont do enough of while we are gambling, i certianly can relate to this ...... hope your chest pains clear up and your feeling better soon, as you say keep moving forward together a day at a time ..... wishing you well....

Hi Stephen

Thank you for the post and support ☺

Hope you have had a great time at the class and didn't just flew some paper planes all over the classroom 😉

Hope you also have a great time with your friend! I am very happy for you for keeping relationships close by while moving on in this not so easy road of recovery! It is very important not to isolate and share your thoughts/ hobbies/ interests and of course....smiles with others!

Keep safe, you're doing great! Into 3rd week you go! ☺

S&B xx

Hi Stephen - it all sounds so much better than gambling ... laid back English lessons, a trip to cinema and a bite to eat with a good friend ... on paper, that reads as about a million zillion times more fun than a solo gambling session.

Take care

Equinox

Hi Stephen, I second Equinox as in so lovely to hear you enjoying 'nornsl' stuff. I found for days after each relapse a dark cloud would hoover and there was no enjoyment in anything. Hope you feel better soon, have a good weekend S:)

Hey Stephen. I agree with the others. It’s great to hear you enjoying the normal stuff like going to the cinema, I hope you have a nice weekend. Scott

For an angel ☺...one of those anyway...speakers on low sound 😉

https://youtu.be/sRvEwXDxz_I

Lol

Probs she does..tapping away in her sleep ☺ glad you liked it, it brings me peace on some strange way

Take care Stephen, Thank you for your support

Xx

Thanks for the the posts on my diary which help me to stay focussed.

Chartom ... congratulations on 42 days GF. I believe the weekends are a challenging time for many on the diaries. It's good that you recognise the dangers and have coping mechanisms to deal with them. As you rightly point out, your heading in the right direction and the challenges are all part of the journey.

Equinox ... Congratulations on 47 days GF. Doing things we enjoy are without doubt a "million, zillion times more fun than solo gambling." Thank you for reminding me of that, I do sometimes forget and it certainly hits the nail on the head. Really tragic to see compulsive gamblers engrossed in some crazy addiction, showing a total disregard for anything and everything else.

Sharon ... It seems only yesterday I was congratulating your 300 days GF and here you are on 310, crikey the days just seem to fly by. It makes me proud to watch your continued good progress and I am so determined to follow your example.

I know it's me being childish but you really lifted my spirits and brought a smile to my face with your last post; "I found for days after a relapse a dark cloud would hoover and there was no enjoyment in anything."

I do have a lazy streak, which I know is unusual for a man, and will put off dusting and vacuuming for several weeks. Anyway the good news is you shamed me into, I knew there was no way a dark cloud was going to do my hoovering so I thought, well, I'd better get on with it. Flat is now spotless, all shipshape and bristol fashion.

Scott ...Hope your well my friend. Last saturday you had an evening of reflection which hopefully helped to clear up any doubts or misunderstandings you may have been harbouring. Congratulations on your 51 days gamble free. Your approach is very positive plus you reach out to your fellow travellers with help and encouragement.

S&B ...Thankyou for being a good friend and companion on our journey. I must say I do like your tastes in music and enjoy the songs you recommend. Hope your weekend has been good for you and lil girl and you have been out and about for walks. As everyone agrees we can get so much pleasure from the simple things in life.

Hello Diary.... Lazy day and now a lazy night sitting around relaxing. Enjoyed last nights Five Rhythm dance and my breathing/ chest pains are definitely improving. Tomorrow lunchtime a Five Rhythm dance teacher from Leeds is doing her monthly class in Hull, she is very good so I will get myself there and do what I can.

I have friends who have suffered from anxiety and depression. One good friend recently told me of 2 occasions when she had taken an overdose. A lovely lady who has always appeared bright and breezy when she obviously wasn't. She has been diagnosed as bipolar and takes medication to address it. It shocked me to think of the anguish that sufferers have to endure. My heart really goes out to anyone who is struggling with their thoughts and negative emotions. I hope the angels can gather around to bring comfort and peace to all those who are in a dark place. We are all together on this journey and we need to keep going forward at our own speed. Tomorrow is another day and it might not be so bad.

Hi Stephen, thanks for dropping by on my diary. I've replied on mine.
I think being a compulsive gambler makes us empathise/sympathise with people more. Is it because we realise how difficult it can be to cope when our mental health let's us down? I guess that's one (of very few) bonus's from being a cg.
Glad you've had a lazy, relaxing day. No doubt saving yourself for your toe -tapping, hip-shaking moves tomorrow! (this afternoon! ) X

Thankyou for posting on my diary LML. Really pleased to see your getting your life back on track.I think we both realise this has got to be the end of the gambling madness.

Wishing you a good Sunday and a happy, gamble free, and full of fun, week ahead.

Hello Stephen,

Thanks for the bit of culture via Robbie Burns. It seems as I get older arts and culture are becoming more of an interest for this sun reading builder. A bit of irrelevant info there.

You made me smile above when you said about cleaning your flat and it may be unusual for men to be lazy ! I always thought it was a natural trait of us hunters.

I really enjoyed last night, was cool seeing a chap who is a big part of my history and how well he has done. Something that comes up on Gamcare quite often is the want to get shot of this crippling addiction and become normal, now I’m thinking yes, we need to tame the addiction but normal isn’t what we’re looking for after all. Quirks are human and cool, and just by your writing I can see a cool quirky chap.

Enjoy your day on the Humber

Hi Stephen, just popping bye to say hello ... saw your post on Scott’s diary and thought I had to say that you certainly aren’t a ‘sad old fool’ the fool doesn’t admit they have a problem, and doesn’t spend all the time helping others you do. OK, you have had a few relapses, but you recognise them as such, admit them on here, and crack on again. You’re posts are always interesting, so keep inspiring us relatively new members. Rich

Hey Stephen, I have to echo what Richard just said as when you put “sad old fool” in a reply on my diary. That really made me feel the need to reply to you. You are definitely not a sad old fool and your concern and thoughts for others is lovely to see. We are all in this together relapses or no relapses. Let’s remember that. Scott

Thank you for posting on my diary, I appreciate the encouragement and support.

I agree with with Volcano's sentiments. We are not looking to be normal, whatever that is. We want to be ourselves and make full use of our attributes. Life is to be enjoyed with high jinx and adventures. Experiencing life and all it has to offer is a far cry from servitude under the yoke of gambling addiction. Getting a buzz because a ball lands in one space instead of the one next to it. How sad is that !!!

Congratulations for tomorrow Rich as you will be 30 days away from your last bet. The bookies didn't want to let you go did they? I have never gambled online but am disgusted reading posts which describe their underhanded behaviour.

It is so difficult Scott to come to terms with the monies we have lost. It can be like a ball and chain stopping us moving on. If a part of us refuses to accept the losses than it will hinder our recovery. A return to gambling simply means more money thrown away, and we're caught up in a never ending cycle.