The beginning of life without gambling

Gamcare diaries hopefully

Can shine a light and help you see

Madness ruled our gambling ways

With lonely nights and bitter days

Tormented, bruised and left with nowt

The time has come for Spinningout.

Lovely poem, thank you for the support. First day so far a success and working hard to make sure I clear this first hurdle.

Good luck with your journey, small steps and you'll be fine just keep posting, you'll receive support

Wilsy

Got through the first day without gambling. The urge to gamble I could feel which I noticed now that I'm trying to stop. I had to talk myself out of it and focussed on my family to help me. Let's hope this is day 1 of the rest of my life. Thanks for the ongoing support it really helps.

Hello,

It sounds like gambling is a bit more of a choice then it should be to you. To reach the point of wanting to stop must mean it is a problem to you. Will power is good, for a few days but its rarely ever enough. If you don't have any good solid blocks in place it will be a good idea to get them in now.

Mixer created a great board to help people like yourself. I'll link below. All the best. Stick around theres a lot of good people that will give their time to try help you through this.

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/want-do-something-read

I have watched the video on this forum and read the article. It has helped inspire me and show me of how bad this problem could become. Although my debts are not like the huge figures you hear they are equivalent to almost every penny I earn and could possibly borrow in my circumstance. Though this will be a hard journey I want to change and ask for the ongoing support to help me do this. I thank you all and will update you on my daily progress. Here's to a better tomorrow.

I sit here, at 3am, thinking of all the opportunities I could have had and all I could now have if not for gambling and can't help but feel me beat my self up a little. I have began to face the harsh reality after just one day that my losses over 4 years have exceeded over £20000 at the age of only 22. This is a harsh realisation indeed and one I have hidden from for some time. I continue to fight the urge and not spend what little money I have left on my credit line yo try win some back as I am know this not to be the answer yet my mind is trying to convince me still.

We enter day 2 of the battle in the hope that one day I will win the war. Day 2 of no gambling.

Thank you for all ongoing support and I can feel some weight being lifted as I type these words which no one has ever heard but in my head.

The urge to gamble continues but I have a fire in my belly not to let it win for the first time in 4 years. Long may it continue. Day 2 is early days but for the sake of my family and I, i hope this is the start of a great recovery.

I post this hear as I fear to tell my family the reality that my debt from gambling at age 22 is now £6300 at this time. Various payda y loans aswell as credit cards and even a loan all maxed out which fed this monstrous addiction.

Today I see a very distant light at the end of this lonely tunnel. One day I hope to see it.

Get day 2 over with and it'll become easier after a few weeks. Try not to stress too much about debt just don't add to it by gambling. One hour or one day at a time continue to have that fire in your belly and don't give in to the urges. You can do it and we'll all suport you.

Wilsy

Day 2 without gambling complete. Still feeling the urge but remain strong. All blocks in place with self exclusions and my finances now in my partners hands but I remain part of it by budgeting to pay down my debt.

Each day is a challenge but one I hope I can do one day at a time. I know the real challenge will be the 23rd when my monthly paycheck hits my account and this will be my biggest test so far. I hope for the strength to keep going and ongoing support. I feel with each comment of support I feel more confident to do this so please do continue to comment.

Day3. Watched a panorama on gambling FOBT which are my worst and main gambling addiction. This story of mine is not alone and one of many and I suggest those who have problems with these machines have a watch. We are not alone.

My mind continues to think as one more big win will sort it but I know this isn't true and though I can't stop these thoughts I try to ignore them.

I have now had cash in the bank and not gambled in 3 days which is a first for a while.

I need to not gamble and I intend to. Updates to follow.

I myself am fighting the battles with guilty feeling I've got from the losses and urge to chase the losses. Hand in there! You and I are in the same boat.

Tonight I will be attending bingo with my partner and friends. Though this is gambling in a form I don't view this as a problem and feel relaxed while playing this. I won't count this as a reset to my days gambling free.

Let the fun begin 🙂

Congratulations Spinningout on 3 days gamble free. Celebrating with a visit to the bingo hall might not be everyone's first choice but it is your recovery. I recognise it is a social occasion with your partner and friends but some would consider it a bit risky.

Age 22 with accumulated losses of over £20,000. A debt of £6,300 through loans and credit cards. I think you have suffered enough damage through gambling. It is good though that you continue to fight the urges and have all blocks in place along with self-exclusions.

Your finances are now in your partners hands but you remain part of it, so you can budget to pay off the debts. Furthermore you are fearful of disclosing to your partner the reality of your debt. This is understandable and I can see you don't wish to cause unnecessary strain on your partner. However many would argue that now is the time to lay all your cards on the table so it can't come back to haunt you.

I wish you well in your recovery and sincerely hope you can get your life back. Please don't underestimate the insidious nature, the cruel deception and the manipulative power of gambling addiction.

Take care my friend.