the end of the road, a new start on the way

Hey Ands.. you made the panel laugh.. demonstrates that you'd probably get on well in the team... there we go a positive spin on it!

As for trainspotting.. bloody excellent film. I loved every minute of it. The bit where he went down the loo in the worst toliets in Scotland.. so funny.. and the freaky bit where the baby crawling on the ceiling when hes going cold turkey lol .. great film.

Well done on your gambling free time.. keep positive.. S.A 🙂

Hi Ands,

Trainspotting, P****r mate. Sounds like we have a lot in common, i have done that in interviews before now. I do honestly believe humour is an excellent leveler though and can sometimes pull you through, so hopefully you will get the job if not, just keep going mate.

As for me posting a little less, well I'm here again today...lol...suppose you guys and your journeys are a part of my life, and i can honestly say its great to keep track on your progress and follow your journey.

speak soon ands, have a great weekend with the lads.

green x

Hiya ands,

just dropping by having a quick catch up with people.

There was something really positive about your post about the interview - I reckon a couple of months ago you would have been calling yourself all sorts of names for not giving the interview you wanted to give. You managed to laugh and keep it in perspective by the sounds of it, so Im really glad for you.

Im exactly the same when Im nervous, I babble on and say the wrong words, and generally feel like im talking gibberish. I was making no sense this afternoon, as I was really nervous! Im sure they sometimes wonder at my Friday job if Ive been on the drink.

Anyway, you never know you might get the call on Monday! If not, there will be other interviews. It takes a long flippin time to build up your confidence again if Im owt to go by! I cant remember ever being this unsure of myself, and shy. Im convinced there will come a day when Im back to my old self, and can get through a sentence without cocking it up, lol.

Am sure you will get there too.

Take care,

f x

Day 143 and 144, i have not gambled and i will not gamble today!

Thanks for your posts, made me smile!

Must admit i was so happy to read about my fellow buddy in recovery DT what a journey he has been on. Last post on his diary was great to read, must admit tho made me a little green reading that one, lol.....

Anyway not alot else to say, so on i plod with a gritty determination about me and a smile that wreaks of cheese lol!

take care whoever reads my dribble, anyone wanna buy me a bib for christmas?? lol! ands

Hi Ands

Thanx for dropping by on my diary. Not really frustrated, just annoyed i was leading such a pathetic life, when i could have been having the time of my life. But hey, thats gone. Otherwise im doing fine thanks, settled into the new house, dont feel as lonely these days, and things looking up.

Sorry your interview didnt go as planned, but maybe thats just the way u view it, you probably did ok, but the very fact you even attended a job interview shows great progress my friend. This is the most confident and happy you seem to have been since you joined this forum, really do hope it continues to go in the right direction for you. Take care.

neil

Hi Ands,

Genuine congrats on your continued recovery and your interview story made me laugh, youv'e probably got the job! Here's hoping anyway, regardless of that you have come so far and shown so much strength and determination that I think you may have surprised yourself.

K sends her love and is so pleased that you are still fighting the good fight,

Take care,

DT.

Hi ands,

great to hear you joking and seeming more upbeat. I wish you would make jokes about something other than dissing yourself though! 😉

Nevermind....you are a top guy, so I hope you get some good news soon work-wise. I guess it is a slow time of year as there is only seasonal stuff going.

Did you go to the single fathers group again at all? was just wondering cos never heard you mention it in a while.

Anyways, keep fighting soldier! honestly, dont worry about posting to me if you are dead busy. I just like stopping by and giving you a bit of a written hug 🙂

I cant imagine what its like running about after 2 lads, even little angels like your two. Must be a full-time job in itself.

Take care,

f x

Day 145 and 146, i have not gambled!

Thankyou for your posts, i did not get the job, but have another interview wednesday and i will continue til i get something. Will be on the meds for a couple more months which are actualy helping so that's good! Felt like a little gamble earlier, that was the first urge i have had for weeks but i did not act on it, reckon the urge was cos i did not get the job, but just cos things dont always go right does not mean gambling will help, it wont!

So i plod on and wednesday will be 11 weeks since my one and only slip since starting my diary..

take care all, ands.

Day 147 i have not and will not be gambling today!

Thats all for today, take care all, ands

Hi ands,

thanks for your post. Yeah, I still go to counselling. I like it because its a good way for me to figure out what is going on in my head. I find it hard, because there is no where to hide from your feelings. This is also good though, because it forces me to pay attention to my feelings and not run away.

I can very much relate to your decision to quit though. When you are not feeling very strong, it feels worse to confront your feelings. The pain is much more raw. Maybe its a matter of choosing the right time, so it doesn't feel overwhelming. I tried talking about the same stuff last year in counselling, but it was just too much at that time.

Hope this answered your question, and was of some help buddy.

Take care,

f x

Hi Ands,

Hope the interview went ok. Regardless of the outcomes of interviews I admire your strength and resolve to motivate yourself to apply for jobs. I want a new job but am struggling to do anything about it. Depressed I guess. Anyway good stuff on your gambling free time.. S.A 🙂

P.s Ive decide not to start a new diary but continue with the old.. am real indecisive at the mo.. o well ho hum.

Day 148 and 149, i have not gambled and i will not be gambling tomorrow..

Wednesdays interview went okish i think, will get a call early next week.

Boys dinner in oven and the joys of not gambling is having nice food and a nice meal for my sons. Heating, lighting, i am glad to be alive and realy chuffed that my gamble free time is getting longer and longer.............i say again gambling is s**t and fruit machines are the pits!!!!

Will see the new year in knowing that i am gamble free and this chapter of my life is over and over for good.

I personally dont think i will be returning for counselling as this was just so hard, stay focused on the here and now and live life for my boys happiness and their futures..I still miss my old mates and get lonely now and again, but all in all lifes what we make and im trying my best to make my life and my sons life better! AND I AM

Thankyou SA and Freda for your posts, take care all ands

Hi Ands,

Thanks for the note on my diary and well done on your progress, you seem pretty determind too. I couldn't agree more than 'Fruit Machines are the pits', money sucking ba***rds is another way to describe them.

I haven't had counselling, I really thought about it but never did it. I think staying focused and remembering the pain that gambling causes can be enough. I am always wary of complacency as it is easy to slip back into old routines.

Through our determination we can make it.

Go for it Ands, your doing great.

Cheers, Jim

P.s. Good luck with the interview you just had.

P.P.s. I hate gambling.

Day 150, yay mini annisversary for my self, lol...i have not gambled today!

Bit of b******g going on, on this forum, lol...i should not joke but at the end of the day whatever our views are, we are all in the same boat, struggling to rid ourselves of this s**t addiction......... I got booted out from this forum and chat for giving my views, so i is careful what i say, ade deserves respect and support from all of us, so do all the members, no one is perfect...

Thanks Dazzler for your post, you are right our determination will get us through this!

have good weekend all, take care. ands

Hi Ands,

Genuine congratulations on 150 days, great stuff. Have a good weekend secure in the knowledge that you have taken the time and showed the determination to turn your life around.

You should be proud of yourself,

Take care,

DT.