the end of the road, a new start on the way

thanks evanru, i will not gamble today!

Hi ands

Thought the way in which you paid your respects and said your goodbyes was incredible. Must have been hard for you as the support for your boys without support for you but thats why you need to keep posting on here.

Dont feel sorry for posting about how you feel, whether its possitive or negative, just keep posting.

Have a good day

"I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP" - stumper

Dave

Hi ands,

hope you are coping ok. Its strange, Im not sure what to write, cos its stupid saying 'hope you are feeling alright now' cos you know... things like this are complicated and take some time.

But hope you are as well as can be expected if you see what I mean 🙂

lots of love,

f x

Inspiring, emmotional, fantastic, honest, open, full of love and hope, Dedicated, Inspiring again, beautiful, absorbing, and a true reflection of the struggles of life with this horrible addiction. Your diary brought tears to my eyes, honestly. I truely was able to hear your voice and my heart goes out to you for your recent struggle. In my eyes if their is a diary to bring, people like me in the depths of despair, some hope it is yours, I truely mean that. Keep strong for your wonderful boys and i will continue to get hope from threads that you post.

I wish you all the best.

Ands - The last post from Beezer says it all - what can I add? Except to say that out thoughts and prayers are with you - you can do this mate.

All the best

Hatch

Thanks for your posts!

Another sleepness night looms, 13 days since getting message about my mum and the only positive thing i have to say is that i have not gambled. So my one and only slip is still back in sept 09, recovery started jun 09.

If the year i started my recovery was 07 or 06 or 05 or 04 or 03 or 02 or 01 or even 00 maybe things would have been so very different. If i never gambled at all i believe i would have been addicted to something else tho, drugs, alcohol who knows....

So tomorrow will come and it will be another gamble free day. Sure im going a little mad...Will get a grip by the time my boys wake up!!

To my boys, love you both xx

Thank you for your reply and I truely take inspiration from your support. I cant pretend to understand what you are going through, but my thoughts are with you. How weird is that, people you have never met but feel like you know them after reading their posts. Anyway keep strong for your boys which i am sure you will, and keep the beast locked deep as just a experience that has made you grow stronger.

BIG thanks mate

"We attach our feelings to the moment when we were hurt, endowing it with immortality. And we let it assault us every time it comes to mind. It travels with us, sleeps with us, hovers over us while we make love, and broods over us while we die. Our hate does not even have the decency to die when those we hate die--for it is a parasite sucking OUR blood, not theirs. There is only one remedy for it. [forgiveness]

This above was emailed to me by someone i have not heard from in a very long time. What a statement and thought i'd add it to my diary...Make of it as you wish!!

I will not gamble today.

Hi ands,

Just realised from reading your last post that you are coming up for a year since your one and only slip 🙂 thats fantastic work mate, well done!

High five!!!!!

f x

Hi ands,

A powerful last post. There is an element of truth to it I think. It was once suggested to me that a certain event in my life many years ago was "where the damage was done" and that I then went for years holding on to the emotional torment having not known how to deal with it and remaining angry... cue the gambling.

Its helped my recovery alot in learning NOT to hang on to the past and emotions from the past. Acceptance and forgiveness of ones past and those that were a part of it. Feel the feelings and move on "one day at a time."

Well done on your gambling free time. Your a good man. take care.. S.A

Just wanted to say that i think you are coping really well Ands,hopefully things will get a little better for you day by day.

Seano.

Ands,

Just a note to say that I hope you're still feeling positive. You are doing a fantastic job - in the most trying of circumstances - and making a lot of people very proud.

Loved the quote - it can be applied to many different people in many different circumstances but the message is pretty much the same.

Stay strong mate and have a great, gamble free weekend.

All the best

Hatch

Ands, that post about the trip, the messages in the sand bought a tear to my eye.

You say you are soppy. I say you are one lovely man. Love ya bro.

Just popping by to say Hi to you ands and your boyz. Hope you are all ok and they are enjoying their school hols?

Love from Jas xx

Hi ands,

I am being a shameless copycat and doing exactly the same as Jas. Hope you are well.

Stay connected, and don't withdraw too much mate!

Take care,

f x