the first day of the rest of my life

Good news 2nd interview for the job I mentioned, but have had another interview today for a job that is at a company literally 5 mins walk away from my apartment, how cool would that be, not a managerial position but in truth that doesnt bother me, no commute would really relieve the stress of working!! I will know about this one tomorrow.

Feel on a bit of a high but then felt like a gamble, no way to do it so that is good, only have £3 in my purse!!! good day so far!!

Hi Maddie,

Great news on the job front!! its like you are been rewarded for doing so well not gambling! well thats how i think it is, you are doing so well!

Interesting isnt it how good news and bad news or any news and we still think of gambling! good job you have no money but then again i think you would have resisted anyway, you are in a good frame of mind and resisting just makes you stronger!

I do hope you get the job you want it will be such a positive thing to happen to such a nice person, you are always very kind and generous with your support to me and others you really do deserve some good news!

Fingers crossed!

Take care

Linda x

Hi Maddie

Thanks for your post on my Diary! I am in Wimbledon during the week and Northants at the weekend. I do know what you mean about your grandson and Ascot. I was brought up going to point to points and we live near Towcester race course. Gambling was never an issue for anyone else in my family but i always remember my dad giving me winnings at the races and at a very young age i used to think you go to win!!

Perhaps if you drop into normal conversation how people loose when they gamble then it will be both sides of a story your grandson will see and hopefuly he will decide its not for him!

I hate it that my son gambled, and daughter number 2 (who didnt speak but does now!!) she enjoys the bingo and slots I can see where she will end up if she doesnt get a grip!

We are so alike you said you always had to learn the hard way and that is just what i am like too!

Friday again tomorrow and as you know that is when i go home and the gambling scene is readily available - i have self excluded from the casino i used to go but there are another two within walking distance of each other! 3 casinos in a small town is madness but they are doing that well they have now got 24hour opening! well my money isnt going to be paying someone elses wages any more!! Still shopping though!! i have to account for all my money to my mum and i must admit if i had as many facials as she thinks i have had i would look like a model!! lol

Oh I had some good news today! my stolen purse was returned to me!! and all my tickets and cards were in it and even my emergency £20 was still tucked away in its hiding place!! Its a long story how i got it back but the result is i did and i am very happy!!

Lets get this gambling thing sorted we can do it and we both will! united in our weakness but also united by our strengths!!

take care

look foward to hearing from you soon!!

Linda x

Maddie,6 weeks today very well done lassie....and a 2nd interview,all very promising.....wouldn't worry too much about the bairns at races,there are thousands out there who enjoy a great day out and loads courses offer kids entrrtainment nowadays,were only a tiny minority....best wishes we can and are doing this. 🙂

Thank you for everyone who is taking the time to post to my diary it is so great.

I have had a good weekend soooo normal ..... even daughter no 2 seems a little thawed and I have been given an invite to her baby shower, so feeling chuffed. IF only we could go forward and not revisit the past we would be OK, I am sure. I would rather lose a limb than cause her anymore pain.

back soon..............

maddie,

good to hear all is well and lovely news about baby shower! daughter is definately thawing!!

i was just explaining to my mum that i cant go and get my bank card from the bank because that will just put temptation in my hands, she said well we know you are not right in the head so we will come with you!! i cant help but laugh to myself! not right in the head! i dont suppose that is politicly the right thing to say but she is trying so hard to help and understand that i forgive her!!

sometimes we have to let them say their bit and bite our tongues! it is not good going back over old ground but i suppose some people find thats the way forward! any way your daughter is showing positive signs of wanting you in her life and she will need you when the new baby comes!

lets hope this is a good week for all

take care

linda xx

Funny old day today, bad news arrived and I didnt get job no 2, but still hope for job 1, have to do presentation next Mon 17th.

Went off to the supermarket and was very surprised to find a new betting shop opened up next door, and I pondered for a moment should I go in (never have been a bookies before) and play the roulette machine with the shopping money. I resisted and went and did the shopping, but that urge came from nowhere or was it a delayed reaction to not getting job?? That proves how alert we have to be the whole time because even if you think you have blocked your way something else can pop out that has never held an interest before. Anyway I fought it and won!!

Hey Maddie,

Sorry to hear you didn't get the job but I firmly believe that things happen for a reason so the perfect job is out there waiting for you.

Well done for resisting the bookies! You are right we need to be alert all the time.

Have a great week, hope you hear some good news..............

Hi Maddie

Would just like to thank you for keeping a eye on my diary. Heart almost skipped a beat when you said you saw the new bookies and might have been tempted. argggg please never do...online gambling alone is bad enough, as you know...

keep strong and hope all works out for you.take care.

neil

Hi Maddie

It will be their loss at second job, sometimes fate steps in and it was probably not the job for you!

Funny how we are drawn to things that have never interested us before - I dont know if its because of this site that we are more aware or if its because we have made it impossible to do what we did before?

You did well not to go in the bookies ( i wouldnt have a clue what to do in there!!) because you and I both know we cannot win because we cannot stop!!

I am sure people who arent cg!s have bad days and down moments too but its because of our natures and addictions that ours always lead to thoughts of gambling others perhaps think of chocolate!! lol

take care Maddie you are doing so well!!

kindest regards

linda x x

Sorry to read that you didn't get the job Maddie,i know from my own experience this past year how hard finding a job is.....,i'm even chuffed to get a rejection letter,as most of the time i hear nothing!!!!.

Well done on resisting the temptation to go into the bookies,the urge can, and will crop up at the most odd times,we always need to be on our guard.......,it's fairly common for us as CG's to replace our previous form of gambling with another form of gambling...,the addiction is not prejudiced in any way :),just needs to be fed!!.

Seano.

How true Sean, this addiction can bog off and go eat somewhere else, I have run out of food!!!!

Hi Maddie

Just wanted to say well done on your continued recovery and well done for not being tempted by the bookies keep it up Jeff.

Hi Maddie,

How are you doing?? did you go swimming? i swim about 50 lengths a night like i said i dont do things by half!! sometimes i get out the water and my knees start knocking lol!

Any news on the job front? I am pondering on changing my job but i think i am going to have to stay until i am more confident that i can get over the gambling. I have come very close to the line in this job and i dont want to risk loosing the plot again so will probably just stay until after christmas then i will be debt free and hopefully have more understanding of my addiction.

This weekend is going to be very hard for me as daughter not here any more and she was so very supportive, i think i am getting on my parents nerves as well! might just be me being paranoid though!! Got a week of work soon and i have noticed everyone seems to go quiet on their week off i hope that doesnt mean the temptation becomes to great?

We girls can and will do if for ourselves!! we have to really dont we?!!

take care

Linda x x x

Hi Maddie,

I used to go to school in Bugbrooke! wow its a small old world isnt it?

Your really going some with the job hunting!, even if yoy dont get the job or dont fancy it at least you get to look round some amazing houses and see facinating people! Last summer Fedderer was living two doors up during Wimbledon and the family i live with are personal friends with the man who had a hill named after him!! They are also neighbours of June Whitfield and Vivienne Westwood lives next door to the childrens granny! which is a really small world as i used to make corsets for Vivienne Westwood!! well thats enough of my name dropping!! lol believe me though money does not buy happiness!! it gives you a longer game though!!!!

We should meet up that would be fun, to see the lady behind the posts!!

You really deserve to get one of these jobs! Chelsea is very nice i dont think they have any arcades or bookies there!! I think i was very close to ending up a bag lady!! they would have been nice bags though!! lol

Take care my friend we will resist any urges and prove we can do it!! linda x x x