The gambling establishments never hurt me, I hurt my self.

Hi

My name is Dave I am a compulsive gambler.

The healthy people in the recovery program were going to help me help my self heal my pains and help become amuch healthier person.

I am a non religious person.

The addictions and obsessions only indicated that I had certain emotional triggers.

My emotional triggers were my pains I could not heal.

My emotional triggers were my fears I could not face or reduce.

My emotional triggers were my frustrations I could not resolve.

My frustrations were due to unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.

Because of my unreasonable expectations I hurt my self.

My emotional triggers were my boredom due to me not being very productive and mainly procrastinating avoiding getting things done.

My emotional triggers were my feelings of loneliness due to my fears of emotional intimacy.

The casinos, the horses, the dogs and the machines never hurt me I hurt my self.

The gambling establishments never hurt me I hurt my self.

In time in my recovery I would stop saying I have to and would say I want to or I need to.

In me saying I have to implied that I did most thing reluctanly or resentfully.

In time I would understand that word recovery means healing.

No one could stop me gambling.

No one could stop me lying.

No one could stop me living in my fears.

In time in my healthy recovery I would expose the hurt inner child in me.

In time in my healthy recovery I would heal the hurt inner child in me.

The deep therapies would help me reduce my fears.

The more healthier people in the recovery program helped me learn to articulate my feeelinsg and my emotions.

The deep therapies would help me exchange my unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.

The recovery program would help me became amuch healthier spirtual person non religious.

Tonight at a meeting the topics I chose was what is my biggest fear and emotional intimacy.

In my child hood I was a severely traumatized victim even before I was 8 years of age.

In my teens the trauma emotional pains I suffered got even worse.

I understand that being a victim has sever effects on me.

I was for sure a victim sadly a person remains a victim untill they gain a voice that sets up boundaries from a healthy place of peace.

By reducing every fear in my life I am able to live a much healthier life today.

How did I reduce most of my fears.

I understand that all the pains in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand.

Fear of being honest.

Fear of rejection.

Only once I recognize each one of my fears I would take teh biggest fear, the one which was ten out of ten and I would ask my self am I willing to accept the very worst that can happen.

Once accept the very worst that can happen only the did my fears reduce to single numbers.

Is it possible to life our life being fearless.

In time the hurt inner chid finds a voice from a place of peace.

A voice from a place of peace we can now set my healthy boundaries.

Being fearless and having healthy boundaries empowers us in so many ways.

It was very important to find rooms that gave healthy deep honest therapies.

Talking about being in action or money lost we are not talking about healthy solutions.

Today I am a very selfish person.

My recovery is about me becoming the healthiest person I can be every day.

My recovery is about healing the hurt inner child in me.

My recovery is based on exchanging each unhealthy habit in to healthy habits. 

My recovery has been a very slow long healing journey.

Can my healed inner child come out to play today.

Can I have healthy close intimacy with my family today.

Love healing and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.