The long road to recovery

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(@4yunoxsfwb)
Posts: 11
Topic starter
 

Hello everyone,

As I said on the intro forum, this isn't the first time I've signed up to Gamcare, but I'm determined to make it the last.

I'll give you a bit more background to my situation, as my intro post was a bit rushed and my head was all over the place. I am 37 years of age, still live with my parents and younger brother and have no savings whatsoever thanks to this crippling addiction, and have taken out a bank loan which I'm struggling to pay back.

Yesterday I gambled a significant portion of my paycheck and felt like I'd hit rock bottom. I'll most certainly go overdrawn before my next payday, which of course isn't the end of the world but feels utterly humiliating. 

After a restless night of very little sleep, I promised myself I'd sign up to Gamcare again and kill this addiction for good. There will be bumps in the road I'm sure, but I WILL (not can) beat this. I have to. 

My aim is to post every evening about how much money I've spent, what I've done to combat my urges and anything else I've learnt. I appreciate it won't apply to everyone, but I want to try and help others as well as myself.

Forgive me if I've rambled on, as I previously mentioned my brain is scrambled at the moment and there is so much I want to express but can't... Hopefully over the coming days, weeks and months I can begin to show strong signs of recovery.

Thank you for reading this if you did, I appreciate the support ☺️

 

 
Posted : 28th November 2023 10:09 pm
Tazman
(@tazman)
Posts: 283
 

Am on day 141 it can be done i took advise on board and taken the requires measure on board i was the person who couldnt go a few days without gambling i have numerous relapses on the way, i have suffered with this addiction for many years and have had countless relapeses on the way i realised this addiction is not like any other we can never be fully cured however with continuous support we can contain it and am actually enjoying the time being gamble free 

 
Posted : 29th November 2023 12:00 am
(@gai4zdvkr3)
Posts: 5
 

Hi Dan, 

I'm 38 and on my god knows how many attempts to stop. 2 days since I haven't gambled. Maybe we can cheer each other along on this journey and come out the other side happier and gamble free.

Wishing you all the mate. 

Lee. 

 
Posted : 29th November 2023 8:10 pm
(@4yunoxsfwb)
Posts: 11
Topic starter
 

Day 2

Been a positive day, have barely thought about my situation. Had a better night's sleep and went to the gym at 6:30 before work which definitely helped clear my mind a little. In the past I would go 3-4 times a week and I aim to get back into that routine.

I also started listening to a couple of self help audiobooks centred around money management which I hope will yield some useful advice.

There will be tougher days ahead I know, and the real challenge begins when I next get paid and have a larger amount of money in my account. I am already planning on setting some aside for savings (although that will be easier said than done with Christmas approaching!)

Onwards and upwards...

Thank you for your reply Lee, we both appear to be in the same boat so would be good to check in on each other's progress from time to time.

 

 
Posted : 29th November 2023 10:01 pm
(@4yunoxsfwb)
Posts: 11
Topic starter
 

Day 3

Not a lot to report, no urges at all (but I've got next to no money for 2 1/2 weeks so couldn't gamble even if I wanted to!)

Have put some blocks and gambling freezes on my online banking app, hopefully they will come in handy.

The days and weeks ahead are going to be very difficult, and once again I will be spending Christmas/New Year alone. This addiction and lack of money has dented my confidence so much over the years that I've never managed to maintain a long term relationship with anyone, which eats at me every day. 

Really don't know how I'm going to make it to payday on the 19th but I'll have to somehow.

Have to remain positive, will be hitting the gym tomorrow and hopefully that perks me up for the day...

 
Posted : 30th November 2023 9:39 pm
(@4yunoxsfwb)
Posts: 11
Topic starter
 

Day 8

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, haven't really had anything interesting to add. Having very little money for the next two weeks means my life will be pretty quiet, with the real challenge beginning on payday.

I've been feeling fairly OK and optimistic, but this is nothing new and part of the vicious cycle that I fall into every month. The days and weeks leading up to payday I'll think "I'm gonna do it this time, I've got plans to save and spend my money wisely", only for my mind to vacate me as soon as a substantial amount of money reaches my account, and before I know it I'm back at square one.

I'm hoping that documenting my progress will help against my urges (not that I've had many since the last relapse) as I CANNOT fall into the same trap, especially over Christmas.

 

 
Posted : 5th December 2023 5:26 pm
(@4yunoxsfwb)
Posts: 11
Topic starter
 

Day 21

Made it to payday! I had gone slightly overdrawn but I'm here, and determined to beat this horrible addiction once and for all.

Will be buying Christmas presents over the next couple of days so at least I can't gamble any money away there, then I just have the agonising wait until the next payday in 5 weeks time.

Am planning to withdraw some money each week to keep in a safe place, and only spend if absolutely necessary. I have a savings goal to reach by the end of next year and really want to focus on that, hopefully the urges will stay away.

Will check in from time to time to chart my progress, but if I don't post in the meantime I wish everyone a very happy Christmas.

 
Posted : 19th December 2023 8:02 am
(@4yunoxsfwb)
Posts: 11
Topic starter
 

Day 23

Very little urges so far, mainly due to the hectic build up to Christmas. Haven't really had a lot of downtime to distract me, but am sure that'll change in January. 

Need to start a new hobby to take my mind off any thoughts of a relapse. I enjoy film/TV and video games, so might try and lose myself in a series or two, or maybe get a couple of PS5 games.

Feeling somewhat positive at the moment, just need to get through to the next payday and that'll be my biggest achievement in nearly 20 years. 

 
Posted : 21st December 2023 8:37 am
(@4yunoxsfwb)
Posts: 11
Topic starter
 

Day 26

That's Christmas shopping out of the way, and I now have a decent amount of money left in my account. Once Christmas is done and dusted I'm planning to withdraw £200 a week and keep it in a safe place, that way I can't gamble it online.

Had some strong urges yesterday especially whilst watching the football in a pub, but got through them. 

Wishing everyone on this site a very happy Christmas and best wishes for the New Year. Let's beat this addiction in 2024!

 
Posted : 24th December 2023 11:19 am

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