The Past Was Yours But The Futures Mine

Hi StoneRoses,

Glad to see you doing so well and sounding so positive.

Keep it going mate, and have a great weekend.

All the best

Ade

haha it's true! good day today I posted sometime ago on my diary about having 10 days off work to do uni work and I got my results today...got a first for my essay and presentation scoring 75% for my essay and 82% for my presentation I dont think its a coincidence that this came at a time I wasnt gambling and is my highest mark over 2 and a half years!

I cant wait to carry on achieving learning so much on my recovery

o*g...AWESOME 🙂

Fantastic work! It's good to hear the pride in your words & I agree, your drive to recovery is enabling you to think clearer again! You clever sod 😉

V proud!

Keep @ it - ODAAT

Thanks means a lot onwards and upwards!

Glad to be working today had a few silly thoughts about footy bets few teams i fancy to win today but considering I was the worlds worst gambler and I know what will be the outcome I can say with a wry smile im not going back there! The safest place for my money is with my parents and my bank!

no gambling today!

Even if they teams you fancy today did win you would only lose the next time and more. Definetely not worth it mate and you have made the right decision. Also congratulations on your exam results well done

Quite right gregg previously when I tried to control gambling through football bets it never worked and it wont work now it just gave me an opportunity to lose more money and put any winnings plus my own money into the roulette!

No gambling so far in 2015. No intention to. Just finished work time to chill and watch footy and snooker. I Guess thinking about gambling at times is part of the healing process.

No bets in 63 days aside from one slip on a bandit on a night out on boxing day and a gamble free 2015 happy days! Chuffed with that.

Yeah that would be great NT! I know feels like time is dragging at the moment.

feel a bit fed up, down and restless at the moment and cant sleep tonight. Not sure why!

Still gamble free.

Mate, you'd feel an awful lot worse if you weren't gamble free so do what it takes to get through the night & tomorrow is a brand new day! You're doing great but you're human so you're gonna have up days & down days! Personally I look @ my down days now & compare them to how I used to feel on my down days...I'm not going back!

This mood will pass, stay strong - ODAAT

Hi stone,

Hope you got some sound sleep, and you feel more positive today, these mood swings don't last long, and when you get past them, you feel even stronger and more determined

Have a good day and take care

Suzanne xx

Thanks guys 🙂 your both right. Ive got a really tough essay due at the moment its really stressing me out which is a trigger for gambling, thoughts of gambling and feeling sorry for myself haha. Like you say will get through this.

Finally some time off work off until tuesday now but got a 3000 word essay to write for next friday...still well needed time off to relax and the study keeps me away from gambling. Will be going all out for a first all I can do is try my best.

Cant wait to get paid in about 10 days and see the debt come down again.

Still fighting still not gambling. The only way is up!

Well first things first

Halfway through my essay which is good news.

Paid some more debt off which means debt has come down from 6110.00

To 4790.00

Now...I have unfortunately spent some time in the bookies this wekend for an hour yesterday and an hour today. I even got a taxi to go and gamble something i don't ever remember doing. I know why I was bored, I couldnt be bothered putting the effort in and I was stressed from my essay.

On Both days however I gambled responsibly on the football and snooker, and also a little amount on the roulette, I guess i needed a buzz. Ultimately I DO WANT TO STOP gambling but i also got some enjoyment from this. This addiction has been devastating at times it really has...

But I kind of bet in a way that was enjoyable, I dont want to make this a habit im quite confused right now, can i gamble responsibly? Is it progress to only go in a bookies once in over 2 months, is it still a success? is it a success that i gambled responsibly? am i learning?

I don't really know how to seperate the two but know it could be a slippy path!

I'm going to try again from tomorrow anyway. I guess I am serious about giving up ive paid almost £1500.00 off debt in 2 months.

Any advice??

Yep, go in there one more time, straight to the counter to self exclude then stay the hell away! This isn't just a slippery slope, it's a ruddy long ice covered mountain that you are teetering @ the top of! You may have gotten lucky this time, but this is the addiction's way of luring you back in! Don't lose sight of what bought you here in the 1st place & how much better you were doing without it! Go back over your posts if you need to & re-read the pride you had with your last results & what you attributed your clear thinking to! Never mind 'trying again' tomorrow, you know what you are planning! You have to chalk this up as a slip & put it behind you! get straight back on with your recovery...The other 1500 words aren't going to write themselves!

Come on Stone, you're too intelligent to get sucked back in! Get back to being strong - ODAAT

I know just being honest. It's hard to shake off it's part of the journey I'm still learning and trying my best. :-/

I will get there I clearly must take some enjoyment from gambling which makes overcoming the addiction all the more difficult.

Is recovery never ever gambling again or is it learning to enjoy the occasional bet in a way we do with other activities. I don't know.