The road to becoming a winner

Day 195

Thanks Suzanne, appreciate the kind words! 5 days to the second century and another milestone completed. Gambling still not coming in to my life much, I rarely think about it now. I must stay strong though and not convince myself I am 'cured' this will never happen. One small bet would ruin everything so still going t-total.

Onwards and upwards

James

Thanks for your post James 196 today, keep going OAU to that double century.

Suzanne xxx

Day 203

Thanks Suzanne, Double century is now here!!!!!!!! So happy to be able to say that.

No major thoughts of gambling but remaining on guard. Life is too good now without gambling to mess it up. Hoping to post more after my wedding (in two weeks arghhh).

Onwards and upwards

James

Thanks James, and look at you safely getting past the double century milestone, very well done indeed on 204 days today.

Keep enjoying the freedom that recovery gifts you, and have a lovely wedding HD

Suzanne xxx

Cheers for the post mate and glad to see your still on the wagon. I understand what you were saying and i have took it on board. Think i need to return to my diary anyway as feel as my brain is getting a bit complacent and trying to tell me that i am cured when i know deep down we are never cured. Catch up with u later

Day 237

Thanks again Gregg and Suzanne, always a nice surprise to see posts after such a long time away. Enjoyed an amazing wedding and just returned from the honeymoon in Italy. Couldn't be happier except its my first day back at work today and not looking forward to it at all!

Getting down to the last couple of thousand pound of debt now which is good but i've not been spending much on myself just pounding the debt.

No real thought of gambling of late, have the odd one but nothing thats been too tempting. Have to remain on guard though!

Anyway, off to work now, thanks for reading and looking forward to reading diaries and posting more often.

James

Day 256

Still going strong and no major issues. Had a dream last night that I was playing fruit machines and kept winning. Still can't get gambling out of my thoughts completely but this is understandable and I guess I'll always have these thoughts. The difference is how to handle it and I feel like I'm loads stronger in dealing with these urges which gets easier as time goes on.

Still loads busy and will post more when things settle down.

Onwards and upwards

James

Hi James,

Those gambling dreams, they make us wake up,panicky when we lose in them,,but when we win in them we wake up strangely calm lol, yep it's part of this ridiculous addiction, don't let the nice gambling dreams get you into complacency mode:))

This addiction is more conniving than we ever were lol.

Well done on an amazing 256 days.

Stay strong and keep on guard.

Suzanne xx

Just dropping bye to say well done and keep up the good work. We are roughly about the same amount of days and can relate to each other. Not had any dreams in ages but still think about gambling now and again but still not tempted and hopefully never will.

Day 266

Thank you so much Gregg and Suzanne for your continuous support, it means a lot! I think the dreams effect me more than real life gambling ever did!

No had any thoughts or dreams of gambling of late, absolutely hammering the debt but it is still going to take time, repairing 10 years worth of damage was never going to be quick or easy.

But it does mean I get the occasional treat, ever if it's something small it is still rewarding and something i'm not used to. Even buying new clothes is something of a revolation!

I think the recovery is slowly getting somewhat easier although I know this is open to complacency and must stay on my guard. But it is easier to negate thoughts of gambling when now have an easy comparison, just remember how gambling ruined my life and how long it has taken to rebuild, and then think about my life now. As such any urges don't tend to last long.

Although I've tried to quit numerous times and set up numerous diaries, this time felt different. This is something Gregg says too, it's as if all them other attempts were no in vain, but were actually building blocks to a successful attempt. My mindset has changed too, although I put the days I haven't gambled for at the top, my focus on them is less. Instead, it is, and has had to be, a lifestyle change. Filling all that time that gambling took and making sure there is no chance to gamble.

Onwards and upwards,

Take care and thanks for reading

James

Thanks for dropping by James, and it's great to see you on an amazing 268 days,

Understand about the day count it all rolls into one after a while lol, and that is by always staying on guard and continuing to take one day at a time:)))

Yes doesn't it feel good in a strange proud of ourself way lol, to be able to buy even small things now, for ourselves and others, because even the smallest of treats was just not possible when we were in the grip.:(((

Keep going forwards and enjoy your recovery journey,

Suzanne xxx

Day 277

Thanks Suzanne, another lovely post. Not much to report of late, a small urge the other day but didn't last long. Onwards and upwards

James

Day 296!

Nearly up to the third century and another milestone completed. I try not to put too much emphasis on the number of days as it has led to relapse in the past but it does feel really good to be nearly 300 days gamble free. It has been tough, mainly at the start of this journey as I have found it does get easier with time.

I'm about 3-4 months away from being debt free. This will be the first time since I started gambling 10 years ago. Its sad in some ways that its taken 10 years but also a massive achievement.

Onwards and upwards

James

Congratulations mate when u hit 300. Think mine is on Sunday but as you say not really counting days anymore just so glad we are still gamble free and choosing to live the good life. 10 years is not too bad mate took me nearer 30 to realise how stupid I was.

Day 313

Thanks a lot for the post Greg! Chuffed to bits to make it over the 300 mark and still not really thinking about gambling.

It no longer feels like a part of my life. I don't feel like I need to gamble anymore. Don't get me wrong if I started i wouldn't stop but the key now is not to start.

onwards and upwards!

james