The sickness we kept hidden

That is pretty much like-for-like my exact story. It's amazing how often people say that on these forums. However, I've not come across too many people who are sports betting addicts and in particular focus on tennis. It's the constant daily fixtures which makes tennis easy pickings for a compulsive gambler. Absolute nightmare. Simple thing now though pal... you've got to stop. Nothing else to debate. Just do whatever it takes to avoid sport and sports betting. Sound tough? It is... but you can do it.

Hey you, that is one of the saddest posts I have ever read (& I've read a lot) & for anyone out there who thinks it doesn't affect their kids, take note...This is a 2 year old who knows how much this hurts!

No point trying to justify your poison, we've all been there, as you say, addiction is addiction & it doesn't matter what we throw our money @, we cannot win because we cannot stop! We can however learn to live in harmony with our addiction, use tools out there to help us make the right decisions, choose 'No' to gambling One Day At A Time.

If you can't stop when there is money available to you, ask someone to take control of your finances, beg if you have to...No money, no gamble! It's part of breaking the gambling (Time-Money-Location, remove one & you cannot gamble) triangle! Self exclude from every account you have then download a blocking software (K9 is free but there are other paid versions out there like Gamblock, Net Nanny, Bet Filter), get rid of the laptop or any smartphones that aren't compatible with the software, get a new hobby to keep you out of harms way...Slam every open door & then build barriers sky high so it's as hard as you can make it to gamble again. There's always a way around barriers (these only buy you time when you need to ride the urges which as you know if you've tried stopping will come) so then you need help with how to manage your addiction...Be that counselling (GamCare offer a free service or you could speak to your GP) or GA or both!

Can I also suggest you point your partner in this direction, GamCare offers a friends & family service too & there are real life support groups in the form of GamAnon if she needs it.

You're not worthless, you can make a difference to your life & be that person you know you can be! You're not alone here...Time to let other addicts show you the way out of that rabbit hole -

Hi DTRH,

Welcome to the forumn.

Sorry to hear your that gambling is bringing so much negativity to your life. You've done the right thing admitting you have a problem with gambling that needs addressing, and have shown courage to post on here looking for advise.

The first thing to do is to take your time and not make any rash decisions. Stress can be a trigger to bring on gambling urges, and the last thing you want to do is lose even more if your families hard earnt money.

From your post it sounds like your main problem is with online sports betting. I my self have aways struggled with online gambling due to how easily accessible it is. If this is the case for you there are a few practical steps you can take that will help you as you attempt to give up.

1. Self exclude - From personal.experience I know it is easy to self exclude from most online bookmakers. Most have responsible gambling sections on there websites that you can fill in to self exclude. If not send them an email with your account details and how.long you wish to exclude for and they are obliged to carry this out for you.

2 - Restrict your access to money - You can do this in a number of ways. Firstly change your bank card to cash card so that you can't use it online. This will stop you opening accounts with new bookmakers online. Also give your wife access to your online banking so that you know she will know if you've been gambling or not so that you can't keep it a secret. Any other credit cards etc that you may have give to your wife.

3 - Restrict web access - Get your wife to set up a password on your laptop to block gambling websites. This way you won't even be able to access the sites let along gamble on them.

Hopefully these step will provide the blocks that you need in the early days to prevent you from giving in to the urges. Plus it should show to your wife your serious about stopping, and help her worry less about your gambling.

Thanks very much for the quick responses all. The advice is welcomed and i will do all i can to try and avoid the temptations that plague our daily lives. To be honest the web blocking and password setting has been done yet whenever i feel better about my addiction i somehow find a way back on the sites. What i feel i need is exactly what you have given me....real time perspective. I feel that talking to you all and keeping myself aware that i have a problem reguarly is maybe what i need. The sad thing is that almost everyone around me is aware that i have a problem.....but i feel no one wants to approach me and talk to me about it. I feel so sad for my partner, she is an amazing person and i feel that she doesnt deserve to be burdened with my problems.

once again thank you all

hi there you like me and everybody else in here are useless as a partner and as a father as long as you keep giving in to the addiction because thats just the way it is at the end of the day you like me have to want to pack it it in firstly and more importantly for yourself as in the end if you cant change like i have to myself its you who will be left all alone and im sure thats not what you want for yourself and your family its a very hard long road and its not an easy habbit to break but having read through multiple success diaries they all have one thing in common they all wanted to quit so moving forward everything thats been and gone is now the past which can not be rewritten so let it go and start from day one and let it grow................good luck

Day 1 - Today is the first day of the rest of my life. waking up this morning without the inital desire to get on the internet and see what i can put money on is allready a good start. sitting here with my family watching some morning cartoons with a calmness i havent had since my last abstenation from online sports betting. But while i sit here i can feel the dark desires sitting in the back of my brain....waiting until i drop my guard and then it will pounce. Realising the long road i have to walk and the mental anguish i will have to go through to control my urges has left me feeling stressed. Can it really be done ? can i stop this sickness that i feel will eventually kill me ? Its selfish to say but having read so many stories in the last 24hrs has given me comfort that so many other people out there are feeling my pain, or sadly even worse than me. My support and time goes out to you all. This maybe my first day but allready i know that the ability to write and talk to others is like draining the poison from an allready toxic mind.

take care all

Half-Life wrote:

It can absolutely be done but you need to want to do it then keep on wanting to do it more than you want the next bet.

How are you finding a way round blockers and passwords? My husband is a recovering CG and there's no way he's getting his hands on any of the passwords I've set. If you're getting them from your OH, you need to convince her she can't trust you. Sad but true. She will need to password protect everything she can along with taking full control of the finances. Full financial transparency will make it much harder for you to gamble.

I'd second getting on the list for counselling. You will need to find and address the root causes of your complulsion and I'd also add getting to your nearest GA meeting where you will find people who have been in the same boat as you and who really understand in a way non-gamblers can't.

Some top advice. I'd add read some of the other experienced diaries of those who are recovering. It absolutely is possible just not always easy. Tri

It can! Prior to me finding my feet, I had so many day 1's I couldn't have possibly counted them, it felt like they weren't even a number, just a mathematical symbol that meant I couldn't do it but I did & I have! I still have a lot to learn & a long way to go but one thing I do know is that I cannot go back! Unless you get shot of the mindset of being able to, complacency will always get it's way! I didn't want to read I had to give up (I wasn't an alcoholic that could never touch another drop) I only wanted help getting control (which in short meant I didn't want to lose anymore) but the reality is it as a CG no amount of money would ever have been enough. I wanted to win the lottery so I could gamble...How crazy is that?!?

Willpower is not enough, take the advice that has been given & make changes! You don't want the same outcomes as before so, believe in yourself & do it differently this time - ODAAT