difficult weekend , been struggling to stay in and save money. Went out last night and played poker and had some beers and food. Only spent 9 quid as i came third. Then spent 12 quid today.
Hi Adam, sorry to read that you’ve been struggling lately.
It seems like your ‘should you/should you not’ dilemma with the poker is having a massive effect in your quest to give up gambling and therefore save money.
You need to decide in your head what is right for you and what is going to work for you in the long run.
Personally, if it were me, I’d be knocking the poker into touch if you really do want a life free from gambling. Your recovery must start with some positive decision making by yourself.
I think it’s time to give this recovery a real go mate before it’s too late. You’re still young enough to rescue this situation.
Best of luck whatever you do mate. Keep checking in and let us know how you’re getting on.
You seem like a decent guy.
Dan
Hi guys, thanks a lot for the posts, means a lot to see people are listening. I will take on board and tonight will be the first test. If I can not gamble at all then my life will be soo much better. Ive done it for 119 days this year soo far, I will try to get to 200.
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​another day at work today, gonna take a while to get back to financial stability after the slots a couple of weeks ago. Borrowed 100 off a friend and that means I'm above my overdraft so not in a minus and not paying fees. Got dentist on fiftenth so hope that's not expensive. I really don't know what the slots appeal is but its very strong at moment, just want some money back for the month. Oh well I guess a queit month for three weeks and then a holiday with barely any spending money to come. Ive brought this on myself.
Cheers reminder much appreciated. Footballs on this weekend so may well watch spurs on Sa then Liverpool on Sunday in the pub. With a cheaky half of cider. Every day is a day I will win if I don't gamble. Its a long road to recovery for me three years so far. I will succeed in the long run.
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Right thought about starting a new diary for a clean slate but this one is tittled "a different 2018" and so far it has been. The start of the year i was very unwell and off work due to the stress caused by my manager and hr manager. i was off work through jan and feb and started a new role in the same company mid feb in an effort to make me well. With this new role came less hours and less money being brought in but ive been healthier since and no stress caused from my new manager. Through jan - april i didnt gamble a penny boy was it becoming a different year. Then came a relapse into poker and slot machines in may and although the first month saw a profit of 100 pounds. Once i started betting more i couldnt stop if i was losing which on three or four occasions saw me taking two to three hundred pounds out of my account in one afternoon. So end of july i had ten pounds in my account but that didnt stop me going into my overdrft by three hundred pounds in a hour (and this was only stopped by a daily limit on the taking out of cash from my account). So once i got paid a couple of days ago i had enough for mortgage thank god, then all other bills leaving me with nothing for the month and im going on holiday before i get paid again. Now since ive started up again ive had fun all those endorphins flouding thru my body a lot but ive spent insted of 150 pounds a month on social stuff, 450 pounds each of the two months. Three times as much spending. Now i look back thru the last three years to spending and smoking, gambling and drinking are all of the three factors that result in pretty much all my expense. So im going to start a fresh for the rest of this month a see whether i can make it gamble free for the month. I have no money apart from money i borrow so it should not be a problem. I could keep going to my poker game but at the end of the day i leak money thru other gambling every time as i have the itch for it when the pokers not on. Im not in a poor financial position as lukily i only spend what i earn each month (apart from last month). I was going to start watching football in the pub but i wont as a) im not going to drink and b) i dont want to be anywhere near a fruit machine.
I also want to start saving for my retirement, by living with my parents ive saved quite a bit over the past six years. Ive worked out i can pay off my mortgage by 2028. If interest rates go up a lot maybe a bit later bt we will see. Once ive paid that off i can save for retirment funds. Before my current company ive allways worked in retail and thus not put money into a retirment fund untill it became the law to so i have only about 1000 in my pot at present which wont go far. So ill be loking at paying more into my pot in the future. Ramble over heres to an end to 2018 like the start apart from being ill.
Ive been reading a book on addiction and it says all ur is was and plans for life are the same so when we think of gambling each day we have to remember that our personal plans have never got us anywhere so surrender ourselves to that realisation and for one day usede someone else's plan.
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Right I'm coming back to this diary as its my 2018 diary. After my huge slip up where I lost 650 pounds over the course of a month. I'm now seven days gamble free and firmly back in the driving seat. I'm going to stay clear of pubs, if I fancy a beer ill go over a friends, one of my mates is getting sky sports so can watch the footy over his hopefully. I'm also going to buy a camera next month and take up photography. One more week of work then a week off. Off to isle of white with family.
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Back to work again today the last day of earning back what I lost eight days ago. Onwards and upwards not looking back too much just forward to this weekend and next week relaxing on the isle of white.
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Another day down ive earnt back what I lost Sunday week horray. Such a waste of six days wage and that doesn't include all the bills I pay through the week if I included those it would be two months wages wasted on the faitful Sunday. Oh well just off to bed now after I finish my coffee and my cd finnished. Feeling more optimistic, haven't even thought about the fact that poker is on tonight just relaxed in tonight knowing that I wont spend any money. Seeing prodigy on Sunday and been looking into other bands playing theres a few id like to see. So another day at work tomo, four left then a week off , a week to relax and not spend too much. I'll treat my family to a couple of meals out but that's the only endulgence ill have. Onwards and upwards, looking back but only briefly, forwards is where the action is.
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Another day, about to go ​to work looking forward to weekend.
in four hours illl be half way thru the week.
As I've ​made it to ten days I thought id celebrate with a happy post, horray next target twenty days. Then the full month. Onwards and upwards, let battle commence.
Well done mate keep it going
I agree with you 100% Adam "Onwards and upwards, let battle commence."
On Sunday you will be giving it loads with great music from Prodigy so I pass on a message from one of their songs.
GET YOUR FIGHT ON - GET YOUR FIGHT ON - LET'S TAKE IT RIGHT ON
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