Massive congrats on three weeks Mel. And no, it's not long till a month for us now, hey ? So pleased to hear you're still on track. Feels great knowing we are doing this together. I keep dreaming I've gambled. I wake up briefly wondering whether I did but thankfully they've only been dreams 🙂 in my dreams it's always been playing slot machines - not online but in a pub or amusements. I'm always thinking in the dream how I'm gutted I've to start all over again!
January can be a bit of a dismal month but it'll be soon be Spring and that usually lifts us all up after winter.
Keep at it.
Clare xx
Hi Diary,
Feeling ok today. I am finding that when the urges appear am able to remind myself of the damage that 'choice' has caused and I dont give it a second thought. I really feel like I have woken up and I think back on my behaviour and think 'WT...were you thinking!!!?' As the days pass the evil habit is weakening in my mind, the memories of waking up thinking about the night before, how I was going to get through to next payday..the lies, lies and more lies I had to tell to cover my tracks, oh lord! I feel sick at myself - I am never going back. Its like the rational side of my brain is shouting at my stupid, addicted side every time it tries to convince me I can gamble again to 'SHUT THE f**k up!!!!' - I know, I sound crazy! lol
Things are better with hubby, we havent discussed money yet but purely due to my 12yo being at home with us all the time. We are going to London next month so need to save a little for that....
I dragged myself out for a run again on Sunday which felt good, even though i had to negotiate with the ice! I need to get back on track and get fit again, we are doing a couple of half marathons this year so thats something for my brain to think about instead of gambling.
Clare - nearly 1 month for you soon! I have not been dreaming about gambling...well, not that I can remember anyways! Been dreaming about all sorts of weird stuff but not gambling - thank god! but its good that its just a dream (or nightmare! ha) for you 🙂 obviously your sub conscious mind is keeping you strong and making the right choices whilst your awake!! Maybe a way that your brain is dealing with the withdrawal...hmm, interesting!
Catch up soon
Mel xx
Hi Diary,
Pants day at work, very stressful at the moment. Still abstaining from this curse addiction !!
Day 24, still soldiering on........
Mel xx
Yeh, at work we are earning and not gambling! 🙂 no matter how bad things are right now, I am not going back! must not get complacent either...
Mel xx
NT - 2 days behind me!! Wouldnt it be amazing if i was to stay 4 days behind Clare and you stayed 2 days behind me at the end of 2015!! be brilliant! xx
Just read this quotation and thought it was very fitting for us compulsive gamblers...
'Until you're broken, you dont know what you're made of. It gives you the ability to build yourself all over again, but stonger than ever.'
love this quote - I was broken when gambling took over my life and I will rebuild it and be a stronger person than I was this time last year.
Hello Mel
Sorry to hear you had a pants day at work. But like you say least you're earning money and not spending on the dreaded gambling. Hopefully you're now starting to enjoy a slight upturn in financial well-being as a result of abstaining for 24 days and your tax back you mentioned.
Pleased you're still gf
Clare x
Ps like the quotation - and most certainly will be amazing for us all to stay stopped and do this 2015 challenge together. Be amazing celebration next Christmas time won't it. I'm defo not giving up and I sense the same determination in both yourself and NT ! Strength in numbers !!
Clare x
Great quotation Mel...we should all show this addiction just how strong it has made us by never letting it into our lives again!
A big congratulations on your 24 gamble free days 🙂
Keep strong - ODAAT
Congratulations on reaching your quarter of a century. Next step for us is the half century. This should be well acheivable for 2 strong minded people like ourselves.
Hi Diary,
4 weeks today since my last gamble = happy mel!
Mel
Well done Mel. Four weeks :))) it's amazing. Soo goooood 🙂 keep at it.
Clare x
Hi Diary!
My last gamble was the 29th December so, am I technically one month GF or will it be 1st of Feb??? Hmmm...
Could not have got this far without you diary or with the support from all the fantastic people on here! It feels really wrong that I take comfort from all of you that are going through this same hell as me in a nice way ?!
Heres to month 2!!
Mel xx
Well done on one month gamble free 🙂
clare xx
Hi Mel,
Well it's over a month today, well done, it's a good strong milestone to reach, keep going and stay strong and be very proud of yourself.
Suzanne xx
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