I feel finally that my time has come to put to an end the misery and self loathing I have been going through for the past 20 years. I am 33 now and have been gambling for as long as I can remember. My 1st taste came on a family holiday where I was playing a 2p fruit machine and won £2 all in 2p's,I must haver been around 10 at the time. A few years on I remember winning £20 from £1 on a ferry we were on (another family holiday!).
Over the years since then I have been to college,uni,travelled,met my current fiancee,bought a house together,we have 1 little girl and another due soon and through all these years (around 15 I guess as I'm 33 now) one thing has remained a constant in my life and that has been my addiction to gambling.
I Am hoping my latest losses of 19k in 7 days are going to be the catalyst to help me win this battle. I have been earning more money this year and saved a large amount but the more I easrn the more I gamble,what is the point in working so hard if all I do is blow it playing blackjack! I have credit card debt of around 10k but am keeping up with repayments.
I Just hope this time I can abstain for good,its always easy to stop after a big loss,I've done it before but soon went back to gambling. It is my belief that I'll never be truly happy until I stop gambling.
I would welcome any comments or advice andam looking at trying to read as many books as possible on how to deal with my problem so any suggestions would be welcomed.
My previous user name was ron81 but have changed for this time I must make certain everychoice I make is the right one.
Thank you for taking time to read my story.
I
I
Ron81
fella welcome again,sorry it is not in better circimstance's.
For me the compulsion to gamble is progressive in nature,the stakes grow,the losses with them,the cycle of losing,chasing or for me worse winning and chasing grow,with that our self worth goes out the window.
For twenty or more years my friend I remember the brain all to often saying 'what's the f*****g point!'
and just relentlessly repeating the same act,somehow expecting the outcome to differ.
Ther is as you know,no cure,no medicine or magic potion I can give you to end the ever growing misery,but take heart Ron, there is a gift you can give yourself,one that will guarantee you will not lose another penny of that hard earned.
It will take a great deal of commitment,addiction will try very hard to tempt you back into it's arms,but every day you make a choice to arrest the next punt you will win.
Your want to stop has to outweigh your want to lay that next punt and what more motivation does a fella need.
A baby on the way.
So stick around,read a great deal,commit the same effort to recovery you have to gambling.
The results polar opposite's
I DID WIN BECAUSE I DID STOP.
I look forward to sharing your progress.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back
A great day spent with my daughter today. A day free from gambling and a step in the right direction. Work for me tomorrow so will be occupied. To be honest it will be easy not to gamble for a while after such a big loss so my testing time will come when the pain starts to ease .
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