THREAD CLOSED

Reminds me of a stand up comedy bit by Steve Hughes when he's talking about charities and homeless people - how the charities say don't give money to homeless people, they'll just spend it on booze and drugs, "no no just give us the money and we'll... we'll... well we'll make sure they get it... right?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qm6kl17HH9s

Hi Mark,

Glad you liked it! Forum has been a bit strange in recent weeks and months so was hoping it hit the right mark and you didn't take offence. I love to laugh as well. I can spend hours on youtube looking up stand up bits and funny videos. I laugh at so much but I do like some of the satirical stuff and people like Steve Hughes are so good at cutting down the BS and greed that can exist in the world. I'll no doubt send you some more comedians but you'll need to send some more of your own satire over the world wide web first!

Take care

Dear Diary,

This afternoon I was feeling that great feeling when you go to the pawn shop to collect your wife's special ring from her late father that you pawned without her knowing to find that they have lost it!

Thankfully they found it shortly after and my wife has it back. One of many lows well after the event!

Mark

Yes but what a great feeling to be able to put it back:))

Well done Mark on staying strong and determined.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Mark

Thanks for sharing. Glad things turned out well. I have no funny video to compliment this as its not for jokes. That was a serious situation and the gravity of which can get lost on compulsive gamblers like us. Your post is a wake up call to me. If we're pawning prized possessions of loved ones behind their back then we've gone too far. I've been far too guilty of viewing my lifestyle as a game of ducking and diving to survive. It's no life. You've made amends and you're progressing. Keep going forward but don't forget where you've been. You've tasted the sour now start appreciating the sweet.

Hi Mark
I get the gallows humour. Mine is pretty dark too. Hopefully stealing your wifes precious memory of her father is the wake up caДєl you need

It's interesting that this episode, however low, is seen as being somehow worse than the routine deceit towards Mrs and family that goes with gambling.

The real question is what has changed? Whatever the urge and thought process was that allowed the ring to be pawned, what will happen next time the same urge and thoughts are experienced? Because the addiction is progressive, it's already gone a long way to be pawning other people's jewellery, but it can always go lower still. Unless the addiction is arrested. By you for you.

Hope you make the right choices going forward.

CW

Hi mark, hope you're well and hope I didn't upset you yesterday with some of my honesty. It wasn't my intention. Stay safe.

Hi Mark.

i too relapsed again. I understand you and the way you feel. We have to find ways to express our self disgust. Let's dust ourselves down and start again. Best as always.

Hi strange,

' The forum has been a bit strange in weeks and months'

Not very constructive. Take the good bits and throw the bad away.

Simples.

Toad.

Good Morning Diary,

It is a good day today. More sleep these last couple of nights equals me not flagging at work. I am getting things done and not clock watching so much. This makes me more content and there is certainly less desire for me to gamble.

I gave Rosanne all the money I had on Monday. I have nothing. No scope for me to gamble or waste money on food that I do not need. I have 10 miles of petrol in the tank. Tomorrow I will take a tenner which will cover petrol and a treat for me until the Bank Holiday.

Rosanne has more than enough for shopping. I know she will not squander a penny so come Bank Holiday weekend we can do something nice as a family. Perhaps a drive down to Hampshire and Dorset like we did a few months ago, only this time we will not be short of change.

The New Forest is lovely. A couple of months ago we were walking through the heath when a pony followed and caught up to us and then did nothing other than stand motionless inbetween me and Rosanne - perhaps he was on to something! He certainly took a liking to my wife or perhaps was trying to free her from her waster husband - it will be different next time.

Mark

Good Morning Diary,

Yesterday afternoon my employer gave me news of a small pay rise - which he gave me cash in one lump there and then. I told him that this was the first time that I held cash in my hand and my first thought was not to gamble it. He was pleased. Last time this happened I lost half on my way home and the rest that weekend. Even though there was a cricket match that I was looking forward to I drove straight past temptation. Even better, my chosen team lost, having said that, even had they won, I would have been back in the "zone" and would have ended up losing in a matter days owing to the "gambling mathematics."

This morning I received an e-mail from the famous payday lender that the regulators tore apart to advise that I was due a small refund - amounting to about a week's woth of petrol which I will claim. It is nice to be able to diarise some good events as well as the bad.

So, I have two more day's hard graft and then a bank holiday weekend. Football tournament for Louis on Saturday, Wedding Evening on Sunday and hopefully roadtrip on Monday. For once my mind is on my family and my money is in my pocket on trust for them. I am very thankful for what I have and hope that I do not blow this period of clarity for the sake of my family. Roll on the weekend.

As I write I am missing some of my old friends who have made huge an impression on my journey: Karl the Stokie, Duncanmac, Bornagain, Lukeyt, ODAAT, GT/NT, KeithIOW, theassiam and many others (I could go on naming for a while). Hoping you are all doing well with life.

Best wishes

Mark

gambler.toad wrote: Hi strange, ' The forum has been a bit strange in weeks and months' Not very constructive. Take the good bits and throw the bad away. Simples. Toad.

I hear that in GA often. Each to their own of course but if I ignore the bad or difficult, am i ignoring opportunities for growth?

Hey you, thanks for the visit & my special mention here 🙂

Thank f**k you got that ring back :-0 & the plans sound great but once again, I'm picking up on the theme that Down and Out mentioned on your old trousers...You HAVE to figure out how to control your obsession with money!

I completely get that it feels to you that this is what the gambling is about, because as Duncs would say, I wore those shoes out but seriously, it's not! Something is dragging you back, time & time again into the same destructive behaviours that you know only end in sorrow! I very much doubt if I managed a month of abstainence in total in the decade before I came here but that was because I let the voice in my head convince me that 'winning' was the only way. I've a long way to go before I can call money my friend & I know I am one of the lucky ones, finding the right path before I threw away everything my family have ever worked for but just like anyone here, one single bet would blow my world apart, just like your moment of clarity could disappear in a P**f of smoke!

It's great to see you tackling the Money side of the triangle but it's not enough for you to just work harder because that puts immense pressure on your already weighty shoulders! It's great to see you haven't given up on giving up but you need to be open to other barriers & techniques to keep your strength up!

Give yourself a break Mark, your family need you physically as much as financially, accept the debt & keep choosing 'no' - ODAAT