11/06/06
Hi,
Ok...I have nothing. ВЈ81k lost. £25k of this i need to pay back. This diary is an awesome idea as everytime I get the urge to play, I will come here and write instead and plan to do this at least twice a week. Even if that means typing for 2 hours (please dont delete it if it gets too long:-P)
I just turned 23, by the time I turn 25 I want to buy a flat and have spare cash in the bank. Not much of a goal, but something to work towards anyway. Oh yeh, and get a girlfriend :-). It would be unfair if I was with a girl at the minute, so will sacrifice my desires until it is fair.
Enough about sulking about my loses and time to start doing something about it. First, I need to summon up the courage to confess to my family I have a problem, and then put a plan in place to start paying the money back.
I was thinking about leaving my job as its not really what I want to do. But it pays well and don't think I can afford to go somewhere else which pays less. I will stick to it for at least another year and think about it then.
i would join a gym, but have no cash (doh!) so will go jogging every evening for an hour. Should have plenty of time to do this kind of thing now I'm not playing poker.
I also need to make things right with friends. They always invite me out and I decline as I want to play poker. Now i still probbly have to decline as I have no money, but at least they will understand if I explain my problem to them.
Thats my first entry complete......welcome to my new life....
AJ
Hi AJ
Sounds like a plan to me 🙂
Good Luck!
Annie
Hi AJ
Good for you. I also have let family and friends down many times in the past due to poker, but don't forget that until you have your finances a bit straighter, you don't need to spend lots of money in order to spend quality time with people. You can always rent a film or go for a walk or a picnic, even in this terrible weather 🙂
Stay strong and take it 1 day at a time.
Tracy xx
Hi Aj
hows the jogging going?
I know things are a bit tight finacially for you at the moment, but thrashing a few lengths up and down in the local swimming pool helps to blow the cob webs away.....
Keep posting Aj
Take care
Stay Strong
Kim xx
15/06/05
Busy week at work, been working 11 hours a day without breaks but what keeps me going is thinking about the pay cheque at the end of the month to help pay the bills. Thanks for the guys who posted, swimming sounds like a plan Kim, might take that up.
5 days...its been hard and when I wake up all I keep thinking about is what if i didn't start playing? I would have a fancy car, a nice flat, maybe be in shape (i doubt that bit!), but would I have learned the lesson to respect money and not throw it away? in a way im 'glad' i did this in my young days, I dont have many responsibilities at the moment and had this have happened later in my life it would have been devastating.
Had some good nights out with guys from work, we're all working hard and it;s been cool to relax in the evenings with them and get to know them better.
The world cup helps take the minds off things a little bit, C'MON ENGLAND! I haven't seen the game vs Trinidad today, I've been avoiding everyone like the plague since the macth started so I can cacth the highlights later tonight, I hope we did well.
Weekend is coming up, not sure what Ill be doing, but need to keep myself occupied....will think about it tomorrow on the sweaty tube journey to work....nice....
How can I forget! I played a total of ВЈ240 towards credit cards this week. Leaves me with £40 for the next week, but hey I payed some off and it feels good!
day 6 is just around the corner...
well done mate, way to go
stay strong and off the poker
yozza
Good to hear that you are doing well AJ.
Look forward to reading future updates.
Best Wishes,
Helen
16/06/06
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
needed to get that out today, work is becoming more frustrating and holding back off gambling is just adding to it
I read a post last night on here titled 'what made you stop gambling?' My main reason is money and to stop feelin so s**t about myself......im tired of it. Then i thought, what made me start? It took me a while to realise, but it all started when i moved away from home. I could never move back home, I love London now, but I do miss it. Im sure theres some link here to me gambling, when i figure it out ill post it 🙂
I might be in shot for a promotion this year, it would mean a huge salary rise. But my performance over the past 6 months hasn't been great due to feeling down, but im in with a chance, fingers crossed, it will help me out in a huge way. Wont find out until september if ive been promoted or not though. 40% chance apparently that i will make it....ahhhh! just realised im thinking about odds.....doh!
Weekend is here 🙂
Haven't got anything planned, might go to the library.....didnt go while i was at uni, so might as well make up for it! Think i might take up reading as a hobby to kill some time and take my mind off things
Moan of the day: to the guy who was next to me on the tube - I understand it was crowded, but why were you repeatingly wiping your sweaty head on my shirt sleeve? yeh....i did notice....
Watched the England highlights yesterday, not impressed with our boys, but hey they won! someone get crouch a taxi home...even ill pay for it 😉
it will be a week tomorrow.....
17/06/06
Relaxed today, not as hard as I'd thought it would be.
Went into town and bought my dad and grandad a shirt each with vouchers I had. Next year ill make it up to them and spend a bit more on them, even though the shirts were £20 each!
Searched the net for new jobs today just out of interest, not much out there unless i take a big pay cut, but was worth a look.
Abit down today though. While I was out I saw how happy others were, I'm sure it'll come to me with time, but upsetting none the less.
Not doing anything tonight, will stay in and watch the footie highlights.
Well its been a week, Ill look back at this soon and realise how big of an achievement it is.
Well its been a week, Ill look back at this soon and realise how big of an achievement it is.
Hows about looking at what a big achievment you have made so far?
Looking for a new job, you and me both Aj.. keep looking eh?
Enjoy your evening
Take Care
Stay Strong
Kim x
nicely done AJ
one week today???
dreams are special, and your dream is achievable. that house and car are yours, and just waiting for you to collect.
patience will take you there.
18/06/06
Thanks for the post Carol-Ann. Patience is my weak point unfortunately, but its what I'm working on and I find writing in this diary helps alot. Collection day is quite far away, but will be soooo worth it in the end 🙂
Ok....so Ive done a week, wasn't that hard was it? I payed off a little of my credit cards, I went out and actually enjoyed myself, and the weekend has flown by. I actually think I can do this!
I decided to face the extent of the damage done yesterday. I put together a spreadsheet with my money coming in and out of my accounts and how much I can afford to pay off each month, I even have a little left over for myself 🙂 It will take me until Feb 08 to pay back every thing. A year and a half, not that long but kind of pushes my goal of buying a flat by the time Im 25 back to maybe by the time im 26/27. Credit cards are evil, putting the spreadsheet together shows exactly how much interest I'm paying over 2 years, something like £2000. I will cut up the cards as soon as I can, not at the moment as I may need to use them this month as Im a little short. I plan to cut them up after I get paid end of this month.
So, now I can see the damage explicitly in writing, its time to act.
I'd encourage anyone to put together a forecast of how you intend to spend your cash, it makes life so much easier to see for the future.
Going to watch the tennis final now, and probably hit the library a bit later and find some good reads, any suggestions from anyone reading this?
Cheers,
AJ
Hi Aj, I think good idea about working monies out, will do same and see how it goes. Have set up separate a/ct now for the money I make from e bay and have given bank card to my daughter to keep so cant get hold of funds until I need to transfer online to pay towards debts.
Hope you enjoy tennis. No tips about books as mine are all soppy holiday novels at moment. All the best in you quest for gamble free future. Joy
23/06/06
Oh man. I hit an all time low this week. I accepted that I had a problem last week, and this week the guilt set in....big time. I feel so down, never been like this before, and people around me noticed. I hope it doesn't last too long, hate having the constant 'lump in my throat' feeling and always being edgy.
Weekend is here again, not looking forward to this one. Next weekend will be ok as im going to visit my parents, I might break it to them that I have a problem.
9.10, Im going to bed, will post more tomorrow if I'm up for it
AJ
Well done AJ, you're doing great. Try not to feel down, but look up as things can only get better, not worse.
We will all beat this together.
Stay strong
Tracy xx
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