TiMe FoR cHaNgE

Keep strong AJ.

You may think that your dad isn't an issue for these boards, but if he affects you that much, the chances are that it may be one of the reasons you started to gamble in the first place.

Ben.

Hi AJ, unfortunately we cant choose our family and now you are an adult too, you are going to clash if you have a different outlook than your dad has. It could be it frightens him a bit that your a man now, with your own opinions on things.

But it is affecting you, (you almost were driven to gamble again) and at this time when you are more vunerable, it would probably be best if you saw less of him until you are stronger.

And like Ben says, the issues with your dad appear to be linked to your gambling, so if it helps to get your feelings down on paper then do it. Your recovery is what is important and we all want you to get through this, however you can. Joy

hello aj mate , forgive me but have downed a few, you got probs no doubt but the dad prob crops up again here as it does with many of us. my dad lost a house through gambling , he was a bit of a bully to me as a kid and possibly to my mum too. but what happened was me and my 3 yonger brothers grew up and believe me you or any one else wouldnt wantto argue with any of us! anyway dad grew up then, and we are pals , now i know you probably think shut up john you d**k but what im trying to say is we have to adapt mate , if he fooks you off tell him to f**k off you are yor own man mate im totally convinced that your gonna sort this cr** out keep posting and dont be bitter , believe me mate i kno what S***e life can throw at a person , again sorry to be blunt but my sister in law is gonna die and my poor wife has the same bast@rd illness . i dont want you too say sorry mate or anything like that but want you to realise there are some things in life we can sort and some we cant . you can sort this mate ...do it. all the best john.

parents can have that effect on you can they AJ?

sounds like you have a lot of aggression there, and maybe by the time you re-read your post you will feel a little calmer.

in relation to gambling, things are not going from bad to worse, you did re-credit your credit card didnt you?

that has to give you a little comfort.

You were pretty angry and upse on friday when you posted, and it looks like these feelings have come to a head, and the volcano is blowing.

these angry feelings that you have just now are not good for you, and letting them out, as you have done now, will hopefully just let off enough steam for you to begin to get to grips with the problems and difficulties that you are facing just now.

i know that you were not too keen on getting in touch with the helpline, but i honestly believe that talking to someone who just wants to listen to you will be one of the best things that you can do for yourself at this time

think ben is right when he says that your dad is there in the frame with your gambling, and in truth you cant seperate problem from problem, as they all have a knock on effect on each other.

these things can be talked about, and sometimes resolutions can be found

think about it

HI Aj,

Kim xx

aj feling a bit guilty at my rant sorry mate how are you doing. all the best john.

24/07/06

Thanks for the posts all.

Went to the best wedding ive ever been to yesterday, and was all going well until my dad found something to complain about and it all kicked. he has to be the center of attention, if hes not running the show then he'll ruin it for who ever is. so wrong and so embaressing. at least hes gone home now and off my back.

John.W - i know my problems are small in comparison to others and i know i can get through them, but part of my recovery is to log whatever im feeling at the time here. apologies if my posts have offended, i do realise others go through tougher, but this is the only place i can vent my frustrations. I wish you and your family well, theres nothing like losing close family members or watching them in their last days knowing what is going to happen, ive been there twice with my uncle who passed away very young with cancer and my mother who was in intensive care for 4 days after a routine operations to remove a tumour which went wrong, shes not 'supposed' to be alive today. Life for many is extrememly tough in many aspect, 2 years ago it was things with my mother, today it is things with my gambling problems. I wish you the best mate.

Carol-ann always with the sound advise :-)i did re-credit my card, and i felt much better the next day for doing this. but theres all this anger built up in me which i guess my computer mouse has felt the strain of over the past 18months. sometimes i feel the need to just shout out and let some of it go. there is no resolution with my dad, hes turning into an alcoholic, simply doesnt care about anyone, and wont listen to what anyone has to say. But thanks for the advise, im getting closer to phoning the helpline....just not yet..

Mikey - if you have read my previous posts, i am well aware that it is me who has the problem and i havent pushed the blame onto anyone, not even my poor excuse for a father dad. i have accepted i have this problem, im not making excuses and i there is no justification for my gambling habits. my relationship with my father has been like this for over 10 years and purely adds fuel to the fire, just thinking about it brings on a certain amount of anger and stress which was there years ago before i started gambling. no, he not to blame, but he certainly doesn't, and wont, want to help.

Anyway, today im feeling ok. have a day off work, and just relaxing. payday is on monday, and i have made every arrangement possible that i cant deposit it into a poker app. as soon as it comes in i will pay off some towards credit cards, still leaves me in my overdraft, but at least i will have some money.

Have a good day

AJ

glad yor a bit more relaxed mate , im here to stop gambling and should stik to that rather than making comparisms of situations. best way to kick a habit is the way it works 4 you, so if letting off steam helps you mate then let it flow. all the best john.

Each day brings something new into our lives. Yours is not gambling and you are being very strong even with the stress of family problems. So good on you. Stay positive. cheers Joy

26/07/06

23 days and im not feeling too bad. Work is plodding along as usual, and i finally get paid on monday. July has been a tough, tough month. no money since the 2nd has taken its toll. I have been living off a box of weetabix all month, my bank has moaned and charged me for the first time for non payments, had my first disagreement with my manager at work, almost slipped twice (but thanks to the support i get on here i didnt 🙂 ) and now im 23 days in with out placing a bet. I actually feel proud 🙂

Going to start looking for a new job, if i take a pay cut so what? at least ill be enjoying my work and my life.

Hope alls well with everyone elses recovery

AJ

hello aj well done on 23 days dude

27/07/06

Had a scary thought today. I will have money next Monday after being paid, and I thought about playing poker. It wasn't an urge, it was more of a response Ive had to getting paid for the past 18 months.

Hmmmmm, strange feeling. Ive got every stop in place so I wont be able to deposit, its just having this thought made me feel uneasy.

anyway day 24....seems likes it been a year....feel good, not feeling as guilty and things might be starting to look up at work.

Really missing female companionship at the mo 🙁

AJ

Hello AJ

Please keep going, just think, if you do place that bet you will be in a worse place with your bank! Is there no one who can look after your money so you aren't tempted? You have done so well, try to think how good you feel and next week after pay day you can have some real food!

Best wishes

Rosemary

well done aj /sorry i ve ben missing u on the msn .youre doing really well mate .you mentiones female company hey i miss it too mate but hang in there the best is yet to come!

kevin

Hi guys, I didnt realise we females had such an impact on you males!!!! its funny but when we are in relationships, the men cant wait to get to the pub or away to do their own thing. But when single seem to want female company?mmmmmmmmmmm.

Glad you Kevin and AJ are doing well. Stay strong as ever. Joy x