Time to stop for good.

Hi djmorris

You have crossed the first hurdle by admitting to yourself that you have a problem and coming to this site where you will find support and encouragement.

We are all at various stages of our recovery and I was where you are only just over 2 months ago. I am now paying back loans, even to my sister, and will not be free of the financial burden for a long time but chasing losses is the worst thing you can do. It will only make things worse. Forget about the money lost, it is gone, you cannot win it back.

Your past cannot be changed, that is gone, but your future can be.

It is not easy to stop but you will find you can help yourself a lot but putting blocks on your computer or phone, see about self-exclusion at any bookies you use and get someone you trust to look after your finances (your dad is the perfect choice here). This is what I have done and it has helped immensely - I have no access to my account where my wages go and my sister transfers money to another account which I can use.

It won't be easy but you owe it to yourself to have a good life, one of freedom from this addiction.

While you are recovering find other things which you perhaps enjoyed doing before you started gambling. Take each day at a time and I am sure you will be able to beat this thing. Keep posting and reading posts, this all helps.

I do wish you well in your recovery.

Elfie

Hi, dJ, well done for recognising you have a problem with gambling.

You will always have a gambling problem, controlled gambling doesn't exist for you or me, we are allergic to gambling.

I've been in your position, still am, the debts are the addictions way of trying to lure us back.

It's how the cycle works, trouble is we can never win enough.

I recently tried spread betting once again, the most riskiest form of gambling in my eyes, I lost 1500, only to win it back, a great relief!

Was that enough?

Of course it wasn't, I thought my luck was in, the 1500 went within the day plus more.

We cannot win because we can't stop.

It's great your dad helps you out financially, but in the long run he is not helping, you know in the back of your mind that if the s**t hits the fan, he is there as back up.

Try ga, try anything, get rid of your debit card, self exclude, work out a financial plan that is achievable and doesn't leave you too short of cash.

You sound young, opportunities will come your way, make the most of them without gambling holding you back.

You will never ever win from gambling in the long run, the odds are always against you, it doesn't matter if you have golden b*****ks for a few days, you can never win enough.

All the best. Trigger

Hi guys thanks for the replies. I've been in this situation a few times now. Feeling very determined to quit but then a few weeks/month goes past, I get comfortable and I lose control.

I think the hardest part is accepting what I've done. I feel I need to make some money to lower my debts but the only way I've ever 'made' money is through gambling. Also when I'm not gambling there is a huge void in my life. Being bored can trigger urges so I'm going to look for hobbies to fill my time. I have excluded myself from many online bookies already but there is always another one around the corner.

Speaking to my dad and asking for help is actually one of the hardest conversations I've ever had. I think the threat of having to ask him for more help pushes me to try and win back my loses even more and things get even worse.

its time to move forward, think positive and find alternative ways to spend my time. The test isn't now it will be in a few weeks/months time and I hope this forum can help me through it.

Thanks again.

Hi dj, thanks for sharing your story. It has actually moved me a lot and to see you express in words what I've tried so many times to convey. Boom!

I hear ye! I am on day 3 of gambling free since my last slip. I like you get bored and also feel I need to regenerate my finances by gambling.

Yesterday I sat with a fellow G.A. member who has been gambling free for a few years now. He told me that I would be surprised how quickly my resources come back up once I STOP gambling...financial resources and mental health ones too! Let's face it gambling affects us emotionally, mentally, physically...

These past few days have been difficult but today has been so hard to sit with my feelings and ride the wave of emptiness I feel and fight the urge to escape to the slots and to try to recover money so I can get away from a situation in my life where I feel very trapped.

Instead I've drawn up a plan that doesn't involve gambling...one where I will have to save to get what I want, but the way I see it is I started gambling with a purpose as I saw it... to try buy my freedom almost 4 years ago...and I'm still broke and still in the same position...those 4 years have flown past and although I hate the thoughts of it taking me a while to have to put up with situations any longer in my personal life the way they are, there has to be another way. I don't want to reach another 4 years and find the very thing I was trying to avoid I made worse by gambling.

It just isn't the answer. I like you would love that quick fix, that epic win to solve everything but it would never be enough and as already said on here...I cannot win because I cannot stop.

I wish you the best of luck and I am with ye all the way x

Hi dj

early days but well done so far

stopping gambling and staying stopped is incredibly difficult.

i've started again so many times but this time i'm doing something different. i'm doing something positive each day supporting other soldiers on here and trying hard

welcome dj and perhaps you might do the same

tri

Thanks for the kind words and advise guys. They mean a lot.

Day 3 nearly over. No urge to gamble but that probably because the last episode is so fresh in my mind. I've thought about it every hour for the last 3 days.

Bottled talking to my dad today. He was in too good of a mood and I didn't want to ruin his day. It took me weeks to get the courage to talk to him the first time.

I've got an exam next Wednesday. Going to put all my energy into passing that for the next week. Already failed it once and pretty sure the reason that I failed was that I was wrapped up in my degenerate state and didn't put enough work in.

Cheers

Day 4 - still thinking about what I've done 24/7. Thinking of the debt and how I can get out of it. Still very hard to accept.

A quote from Einstein entered my head today which he describes insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" This is basically what I've been doing for years. If I was an outsider looking in on my finances Id tell myself to stop, its not working, look at the facts. And I'd be right.

Anyway, I haven't gambled today and my first aim is not to gamble till the new year which is 118 days away. If I do this it will be the longest time i havnt gambled since I was about 16. Tough but I'm going to do it.

Just looked back through my bank statements and calculated I've lost about 14k between Jan to May. 2.5K was interest on payday loans to fund it.

Im such an idiot.

Hi dj. I wouldnt call you an idiot, youve found this site and you'll get support here, so no you're definitely not an idiot, maybe just someone who lost their way for a while, like we all have , but stay strong, look forward not back and you can beat this xx

Hi Stupid, thanks for the message. You're right. I need to look forward not back and eventually ill be out of this mess.

Just wondering if anyone knows if you get into a mind state in the future where u can regain control and bet just socially without going overboard? Or if its best to never bet ever again.

Hi I have contemplated this but the longer you abstain you will realise you don't want to bet. It's not even the money you just don't like the feeling it gives you. Guilt, Fear, Stress it all builds up over time and messes your head up forever.

Hi. Id say that maybe some people can get into a state of mind where they gamble sociably but to be honest is it worth it? Worth the gamble of finding yourself with all those feelings of guilt, self loathing, chasing losses etc. I intend just not to bother with it. stay strong x

Thanks Michael, I hope get to a stage where I don't want to bet soon.

Day 5 nearly over. No urges at all. Looking forward.

I reckon your right Stupid!. Nothing to gain but everything to risk if I derail again.