Today, I will not gamble

Hi Stuart

Just wanted to say a huge well done on reaching 50 daysr This is always a great milestone to achieve when we are first setting out on our recovery. Long may it continue.

Take care.

Feb.

Hi Stuart

Just wanted to say a huge well done on reaching 50 daysr This is always a great milestone to achieve when we are first setting out on our recovery. Long may it continue.

Take care.

Feb.

Day 57 - 7/1/14

Had a great couple of weeks off work and although I'm not sitting pretty financially I feel I can wake up and not want to gamble. It really does get easier every day.

I can genuinely imagine the rest of my life gamble free, I just have to wake up with the same attitude. I'm not going back to day 1 again

Well done stu, good to read a positive post,sounds like your in a good place- a bettet place than kev pietersen and co! - what a disaster the ashes turned out to be,at least it wasn't financially for us!

I'm feeling confident about the year ahead,xmas aws a test,but my mindset is completley different now,

Keep your guard up,a gamble free life sounds good mate.

Day 67 - 17/1/14

Still gamble free. Couple of urges this week but getting easier to suppress these now. I will not let myself start at day 1 again as I know it is a downward spiral. It's so frustrating to think you have to hit rock bottom to realise that.

10 weeks on Monday

Hi Stuart

Just wanted to say a very well done on your continued commitment to remain gamble free. 10 weeks is a great achievement. You should be proud of yourself.

Take care and have a lovely weekend.

Feb.

Day 71 - 21/1/14

Still staying away from gambling.

Thanks for the post Feb, good to hear from you.

Did get a really big urge on Sunday to just lump some money on the football and nfl but I'd have lost both bets. Regardless I was so glad I just stayed away and can add another day to being gamble free.

Will keep on telling myself the same things and I ll remain gamble free.

Day 77 - 27/1/14

For the first time in 3 or 4 weeks over the weekend I actually saw how I could slip back into gambling but in pleased to say I stayed gamble free.

When city went 2-0 down in the fa cup I was at home and not particularly busy. The odds flashed up at half time (it really doesn't help!) and I nearly put £400 on city at 2.5/1. Again I was left feeling cheated out of the money but I knew it would lead to me getting dragged back in.

I will beat this addiction, I just have to remain wary and be able to think a win would mean long term losses.

Stu

Hey Stu

Your post said it all in your last sentence - a win could potentially lead to long term and painful losses!

A huge well done for letting your self control win you over!

Take care and remain strong.

Feb.

Day 85 - 4/2/14

Glad to say I'm still going strong, no chance I'm gambling in these next 15 days as I'm so determined to get to 100 days but glad to say even less chance of gambling after that.

This has now been my longest stint gamble free since 2011 and it's really woken me up to see how much better life is without such a weight on my shoulders.

Don't get me wrong when I see an opportunity in sport and think I should just bet a silly amount get 1 win and continue gamble free, I'm not stupid enough to do that. So be it if I miss a bet I could have one, I have more to take from avoiding it than placing it. I'm a better person without gambling and I guarantee everyone is. It's a horrible disease but I'm so glad to know I'm slowly making myself better.

Stu

Hey Stu

Great to read that you are still going strong in your abstinence and fighting those urges with your inner self control.

Before you know it, it will be 100 days and so on, if you keep doing what you are doing. It truly is the simplest things that really do matter and when we can do these things, it demonstrates that our lives are returning to "normal".

Time without gambling definitely brings about "normality" once again into our lives and it feels so good. The longer we abstain, the more normal our lives, thoughts and goals become and more important, more achievable!!

Take care and remain strong and continue to fight off any urges that may leap up on you. You are doing great!!

Feb.

Hi Stuart,

Been reading your diary with interest. Pleased to see you're staying strong. I have had four relapses during the 2 and half years since I joined gamcare. It helped enormously. Only once did one of those happen when posting. Keep finding the strength to abstain. Keep posting. Keep the blocks in place. Keep on keeping on. This disease called addiction is very destructive. Find what triggers it and avoid those emotions which lead to distorted, dysfunctional thinking. Never get complacent and you can achieve your goal.

Onwards and upwards.

Best wishes,

Againstnature.

Day 87 - 6/2/14

Thanks both for your posts, the encouragement and support never gets old and really does give me renewed confidence that I can beat this once and for all.

No urges past couple of days and am in a really strong place.

Don't get me wrong I still feel pig sick about the amount of money I have lost, I'm really proud of myself for what I've achieved in the past 87 days as I feel I've gained a whole new attitude to gambling which I haven't had in previous efforts at stopping. Rather than this feeling like it's just a pause until I save enough to gamble it away, it feels permanent and that nothing can make me gamble.

Closing in on 100 days and then as you say onwards and upwards and slowing restoring my life to how it should be.

Cheers

Stu

Hi Stu.

Thanks for the post. I am really pleased with how it's going for you. Your positivity and belief is shining through.

In answer to your question. I decided to give up gambling back in November 2011. I nearly took my own life that night. Instead I sought help. I posted here for 144 days bet free. Then an emotional setback caused a relapse. One day. I dusted myself down, forgave myself, started again from day 1. I have had 3 relapses since, only one lasted longer than a day. Even with self exclusion and blocking in place you can still press the self destruct button. I had two urges yesterday which I successfully beat into submission. Just to say that it never leaves us. We should always be on our guard.

I love your healthy addictions/ addictive personality awareness. It shows me that you are understanding of your illness and realise that gambling is a symptom of it.

So from experience all I can say is that life is a rocky road. Try to maintain a healthy balance with your emotions. When something is festering in your brain then process it slowly. It doesn't have to be resolved now and sometimes there is little you can do about it anyway.

You are going great guns. Keep that belief, stay strong and if something bothers you switch quickly to a healthy addiction.

By the way my name is Ian.

Take care. .

Thanks for the post Stu,87 days a fantastic achievement. It really is a life changing experience.

I've come to terms with my little blip,it was so important to start bk to day 1 straight away,I've learnt from it,not gona get complacent again,be wary of it when you reach 100 days,I think I thought job done. This job is for life.

100 not out soon stu,keep strong mate.