Today is the start of my new life

Sam

Welcome to the forum, a place full of like minded folk who share the same goal, to arrest that all important next punt, to put an end to the self created misery that is the compulsion to gamble.

That money left in your account can be used to chance your arm,but in honesty if you are like me and all compulsive gambler's you whilst active live by a mantra

I cannot win because I cannot stop.

The money is the fuel that feeds addiction, the debt is a symptom not the problem.

Look as deep as you can into the reason you gamble.

My reason was escapism, to absorb myself wholly into addiction would generate escape from the world.

Gambling detached me from reality.

Your battle begins with a choice.

The want to recover needs to outweigh addictions want to gamble.

The advice gifted to me on my first days recovery still works today over three years on.

There is a triangle time-money-location

Take one away and the next punt becomes impossible, gifting the rational side of the brain time to think, time to re wire itself.

Honesty will come with the continued efforts of recovery.

Take all the help out there, embrace it, self exclusion is the first place to start.

I hope this forum gifts you in the same fashion it has me.

Be kind to yourself

For us we have an opportunity to win, it comes through a choice to learn the true value of our hard earned.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Sam

Welcome, my new saying is "Nothing worse then a destroyed gambler", everytime I get tempted from now on I will remember a time when I had a big loss and remember that horrible, horrible feeling.

Good luck, you can do this.

Paul

Hi Sam

Welcome to the forum. you are showing tremendous courage in fighting these urges. the advice from duncanmac and paul is great, the time/money/location triangle will serve you well if you carefully plan to ensure that you've covered everything that might trip you up. you might also want to consider counselling and/or Gamblers Anonymous for ongoing support. you would be very welcome to call us on 0808 8020 133 to talk it over, or chat to us on the Netline if you prefer.

As Paul01 says, you can do this!

Best wishes

Deirdre

Forum Admin

Thanks ducanmac and paul by you both replying i dont feel so alone. You see no one else knows i gamble i keep it that well covered. Thank again

Hi sam apologies I I repeat what others have said if read your post but not others (late and I need to get to bed haha) firstly thanks for your support on my diary being on here and receiving support from others is such a big help. So my first bit of advice would be stick around. You've admitted there's a problem which is a big step. I don't get about the diaries that much now but did do when I first came here a few years ago and I have to say it's a massive help feeling part if this community so don't be shy offer your thoughts and above on other diaries and I'm sure in turn they will do the same. Another piece of advice would be to self exclude from your online accounts or better still install a blocker of some sort I don't know what the names are but I'm sure you'll find something via google or by browsing this site. Other things you can do is not to have a debit card so you can't transfer money online. If you eve gamble offline self exclude from hose places and carry little cash and no cards when out. There is plenty of advice about this site take a look around and if it'll help contact gamcare you can have a chat over the phone or in an online one on one messager. Counciling is another service that gamcare supply if you feel that'll help.

its a bit one after the other but I'm tired lol but I so hope I've helped in some way. Take care stay strong and don't forget if gambling got you in to this mess how is more gambling going to get you out of it. A quick fix does not exist. Stop now and you can rebuild all parts of yor life effected by gambling.

Good luck sam. You can do it
Self exclusion and filling free time doing something worth while at weekends will help. Ive never played machines but horses football n dogs have been my downfall. Been honest n true to yourself then your family n friends. 210 days since i last had a bet and can now watch sports including racing without being interested in a bet.

You can do it. Jason

Thanks insanity and jason for your kindness. You know something for the first time in years i feel hope . You know when your out and about at the shops , work where ever i be lookin at other people be it family or frienss and saying to myself they dont know about my sercet life, the other sam i become when im gambling the endless nites of gambling the kids doin without when we should of had load of money left at end of the month. The lies you tell about the price of things saying things like the house insurance has doubled or that you spent more a supermarket than you actually did. My partner would say how do such and such do it ie go on holiday or have the latest phone, im screaming in my head its because they dont gamble. I reply to him gosh i dont know they must have been left money in a will.

Hi Sam, welcome to the forum, there is a lot of support to be found on here and lots of advice to take on board.

I hit rock bottom a couple of months ago, I decided I would give it my all, use everything and everyone out there that can help me stop.

Self exclusion, hand over finances to someone your trust, gamcare forum, gamcare counselling, GA Meetings, not carrying cash, telling friends and family.

It isn't easy, you can't just come on here and expect to find a magic cure or an answer (not saying that is what you are doing, but I think I did that in the past)

I have tried multiple times to stop in the past, so what is different This time :

I want to stop, I hate gambling, I have fallen out with it, it has destroyed me and everything I had.

I think if if you apply yourself like that, take onboard others advice also, you will do well!

Good luck

Thanks luke, its funny you think that your own story of how you got sucked into this situation couldnt happen to others but it seems that at the root of it everybodies stories are the same. When i read other peoples diaries everything they have done and felt i can relate too. The more stories i read im saying to myself thats me thats me . Its like reading your own life which is also been played by many others. Ordinary people with ordinary lives ,people like me as they said the girl next door. How did i get her i keep saying to myself this shouldnt be happening to the likes of me. When i used to think of gamblers i tought of middle aged men who sat in pubs all day punting on horses but with the age of the world wide web a new new type of gambler has been created from people who would never had gambled i have never been in abookies in my life and probably never will . The internet has ruined my life. If it hadnt been invented i wouldnt of had a gambling problem. But anyway i have not gambled in 2 days the last time this happened was last summer when i was on holidays and had no excess to internet.

Dont it another day. I will beat this

cant believe another day gamble free

Dear diary just done another day of no gambling

1 more day and i wont have gambled for a whole week . I cant believe it

You are doing great 🙂

You don't say whether you have put blocks in place...If not, I recommend them! The urges will creep up on you when you least expect them to & having the gambling triangle broken will keep you safe especially if your husband is oblivious & you are doing this alone!

My recovery journey started with having to take a day off of work too & I haven't looked back since...Never forget what gambling did to you but don't dwell on it! You can't change the past but you can work towards a better brighter future!

Keep winning - ODAAT