Wanna cry & scream!!!

Hi jaz - Looks as if today might just be the day when you put gambling behind you once and for all. Sometimes we need to lapse one more time before it finally sinks in that it has to stop now.

Stay focused, get all the help and encouragement from this site, and you will do it.

Best wishes,

Joanna

Hi jaz, I know how you feel. I relapsed I few month back, put 50 in the roulette won 1000, went shopping being careful what I was buying and then on the way home put 900 back in!!! So devastating, that's why we can never win because we cannot stop! Try and take one day at a time and I really do hope you find the life you want.

Jason

Thankyou so much for your comments Joanna and Jason, you're so right we can never win because we can never stop!! I don't know what happens to me when I'm gambling I switch off from everything else that's going on around me and am in my own unreal world in a way. Then when I can't deposit any more money reality kicks in....

I need strength to beat this addiction once and for all. Today is Day 1 of being gamble free so day at a time I am going to try and beat it, J x

Well today I have been on self destruct! Done it again and gambled the little money I had left, I am now laid in bed in tears... how can I stop for good I don't feel as if I'm strong enough. Tomorrow will be another new start but I do feel like I've hit rock bottom now so here I go again... J x

Hi Jaz,

Try as many times as you can. Never give up giving up.Snap out of it, you are in control and you can stop.

Put all possible blocks on...don't do this to yourself. Stand up and fight!

Day at a time, you are never alone.

Stay safe and b kind to yourself

Take care

Sandra x

Hi Jaz

Well done for wanting to try again it means that you know you have to STOP

As Sandra says keep trying and don't give up on trying

Get on this roller coaster and hold on tight

Don't think too far ahead take one day at a time it does help not too look too far ahead and don't try and work out all the mess gambling has done in one day

Your mind will go on double overtime

Small positive steps to get you on your new journey

TIME LOCATION MONEY take one of these awAy at all times and it is impossible to play thAts a positive start for you keep thinking can't win because I can't stop

And for CGs which I am one we know only too well how true that saying is

Start a diary on here it really helps

I was online a lot so I have a gap to fill so I do come on here and it really does squash that gap by reading and writing on this forum

You are not on your own and you will get a lot of support on here that is another positive start

You can win today if you don't play today

Best wishes Suzanne x

So you are on day "ONE" ok no problem get through today and see you at day TWO. DO NOT beat yourself up in bed and try come up with a formula to rectify the past. its gone, done, dusted let's look at and get through today and tomorrow. You will be ok, but don't try fix everything today it wont happen.

We have all been there and we know how it feels! were are here for you.

CL

Thankyou so much to all 3 of you for your comments they really do help, just knowing I'm not alone in this fight.

Well I had a very restless nights sleep last night, I am still very tired. Day 1 begins today so here goes I feel a bit more determined today to be strong. Will get the blocks in place on my laptop, I have no money at the moment which makes it easier, even though it doesn't usually stop me...

Anyway here goes day 1 going to keep busy so I won't be on my laptop until tonight to check in again. Thanks to everyone again for the comments it's a hard addiction to beat but we can all do it together, J x

Well that's day 1 over with, going to have an early night as I had near enough 0 hours sleep last night!! My first goal is to stay gamble free for a whole week-7 days, then I'll set myself another target. I will post on others diaries soon but I don't feel as though I have the strength or energy at the minute although I do wish everyone well. Stay strong J x

Day 2 has arrived, so here goes, I have put blocks in place H-L thankyou for your comments. I am trying to go on my laptop for limited times, 5 mins in the morning and the same in the evening, just enough time to post on here and quickly check emails etc. I find if the laptop is out I feel the urge to gamble... therefore I am removing it from temptation and trying to find other ways to fill my time, anyway will check in later when Day 2 is complete. Stay strong guys J x

Hi Jaz

Day 2 very well done to you

Being positive and determined to not gamble is a very big step indeed

Because I was on the laptop every spare minute I find coming on here now fills that gap that I did with being online it does help me a lot (mind you have not seen my laptop since the 9th April other half whisked it away and it is now in his locker at work ) I use an IPAD now I could gamble on it but my laptop was my other life and no thoughts whatsoever to play on an I PAD

I want to keep it clean from gambling if I suddenly saw my laptop now I think I would be physically sick and all the painful thoughts and memories would be back

Would it help if you used another source to gain access to get on the internet It has been one of my big barriers to help me to abstain

Also one day at a time every day

Best wishes

Suzanne x

I'm still here, on Day 3 without gambling. Thanks for your comment Suzanne, I'm limiting my time on the laptop just to quickly check in here at the moment I'm still not feeling strong enough to start commenting on others diaries although I do wish each and everyone well in their own fights with this addiction. Keep strong everyone J x

Day 5, nearly at my first target of 7 days x

Day 6, lots of strong urges today but I'm keeping strong and fighting them, I WILL NOT GAMBLE!!!!! J x