What a day!

night out, hey dont get no better than that. hope ya have a great time and put them troubles behind ya.

hell plumbing problems stink. seems when them pipes get so old ya fix that chunk and a new chunk acts up. lol glad the insurance be covering it and more reason to celebrate.

have a great night on the town

Hi irene

Just wanted to say don't let the leak let you down.

Have a great night out.

Thanks folks- leaks a thing of the past. Just the ceiling to be fixed.

Day 47

I'm sooooo excited about being out on the town tonight. Early post- need to trawl my wardrobe and find an outfit that fits (my onsie would be so inapproriate!!) after the festive feasting!

I'm so glad I've kept this record of my days- almost 7 weeks since I sought help. Time has passed so quickly yet still seems like yesterday.

It is so cleansing (not sure if thats the right word but I know what I mean) being able to let out my thoughts and feelings so freely without fear of being judged. I know that I often "hold me back" in real life, wondering how others will react. I think this only got worse as my isolation with gambling progressed- and extra "secret" to hide. I'm starting to accept that its OK to be me, hopefully this'll translate into real life.

LOL hope ya find something other than the onsie to wear. Hopefully your not like me and all them clothes sitting in the dungeon dryer. LOL yeah still down there and usually dont get retrieved till there's nothing left to wear.

Hope ya have a great night out.

Guess I'm off pretty quick to see how poor poor can get on pay day. LOL

Hi irene thank you so much for the post and the link it was very kind and thoughful of you and really helped. Thankfully no episodes for a few days. I understand what you mean about the cleansing part its very freeing . I hope you have an amazing time out tonight you so deserve a good night on the town bed a laugh you have put so much into the last 7 weeks. Well done irene. Take care blondie xx

Hi Irene,

Thanks as always 4 ur support on my diary. It means a lot 🙂

Have a gr8 nite out, u soooo deserve it 🙂

Stay strong xx

Thanks folks- night out was brill! x

Day 48

Had a lovely evening out yesterday with friend. It'd been planned for months, our treat to ourselves fro Christmas. A "posh" night out for dinner- didnt go OTT on alcohol although did try an amazing choc/strawberry cocktail- yum!!!!

Today was amazing- me n Paddy went visiting to see my nephew at work. He's home from uni and we had a coffee together after which me n Paddy went for a bracing walk. About 2 miles from the car, the heavens opened- rain and hail. Its a brilliant feeling walking in the rain- not so brilliant driving home with trousers sticking to your legs and rain dripping- I was like a drookit panda as mascara streamed down my cheeks!!!

Came home, dried off then out to supermarket with my sister.

I've noticed that I often think about gambling whilst driving- not always urges but reflecting on the whole destructive time. Keeping the cheesey tunes at the ready 🙂

Once again, feel like I've had a few good days mood wise despite other stuff thats been happening. Its true, not any point in wasting emotions wishing I could change things- I can't do that but I can control my future!

hi Irene

I think that 2013 is great year for all of us

HI Irene,

My heart bursts with pride when i see posts like your last one its realy weird its like a process we all go through, like we are seeing things for the first time, well thats how i feel sometimes.

You are doing brilliant irene and when would you have ever described a day as amazing if you had been gambling.

Keep going irene, You are most definatly heading in the right direction.

Have a fantastic new year.

Take care

Blondie xxx

Well glad ya had a good night out. Guess i wish I would of just stayed home. Lol

Congrats at your days and Yup guess I'm really feeling in the zero. LOL Lol LOL

Once again, thanks for your comments

day 49=7 weeks gamble free

My last gamble was 7 weeks ago, almost to the hour. I remember that feeling like it was yesterday- another spin, then another- one more deposit. The urgent. compulsion to hit the big one.Ignoring the thoughts telling me I was digging a deeper hole yet I couldnt stop. Tbh only did stop cos I had no funds or credit left. Strange, the panic started almost immediately after I logged off and returned to the "real world". The sick feeling, tears, anger, shame are feelings I will always remember and ones I never want to feel again. Even remembering makes me cry!

Thats why Ive spent every day since then working to stop them ever being repeated.Yes, some of my stuff for coping sounds nutty, some of the emotional ups n downs is bad.Sometimes I ramble here (well usually) but its working so far therefore I will continue.

Im happier and more content than Ive been in years and Im determined never to feel that bad again. Looking 4ward to 2013, not for a new start (I started 11th nov) but to continue towards my goals.

oh sounds like ya did the on line gambling. guess i never crossed that line with my computer and has to be a whole different thing to deal with since its in your home. glad ya got a handle on it all and your life be turning arround for the better. you keep going in the direction your going girl cause your doing great.

doing well Irene!

Be aware though Onlineaddict is just behind you!!

I hope I will never catch you up if I am 30 odd days behind you for the next 30 years then we will both have good lifes!

Have a great new year..

Hi Irene,

Thank u sooooo much 4 ur support on my thread u don't know how much that meant 2 me 🙂

I have decided not 2 run it I was just trying 2 convince myself I was good enough 2 help others in that way... But I am not I know u r on Flagg's challenge so it won't make much difference 2 u... I know u will complete that, I believe in u 🙂

Thanks 4 all the laughs in chat 🙂

Happy new yr Irene xxxx

thanks for the post girl. guess right now it kinda feels like a double whammy with the gambling and my nephew but hoping it works all the way around.

keep doing what your doing cause no doubt its working for ya.