What a day!

Hi Irene,

Thank u 4 all ur support and kind words on my diary. It means a lot 🙂

Ur last post was gr8 2 read, u r doing brilliant Irene and I am sooo proud of u 🙂

Have a gr8 nite xxxx

Hi Irene,

Thank u 4 ur kind words in chat 2nite and 4 making me laugh 🙂

All that talk of christmas dinner and puddings, I am feeling hungry now lol

U r doing brilliant Irene, I am sooo proud of u!

Have a gr8 nite xxxxxxxx

Thanks x

Day 34

Just been on "chat"-amazing how a wee blether can perk me up (thanks chatters!).

Another good day. Went shopping with my sis which I enjoyed. I found that I thought about my purchases more because I was using cash so prob didn't buy as much tat as I usually would! Couldn't help but reflect on what I was doing a few weeks ago- kinda lost the concept of the value of money. Cash never changed hands and money was just a number on a screen. When did I lose that appreciation? Does it really matter cos it's back? Strengthens my resolve not to let it happen again.

Bought my "boy's" coat- in a real shop with real money lol. A lovely waterproof number with a snuggly lining. Best dressed wee dog in the town!!

I am so looking forward to tomorrow. Heading to my pal's for dinner with her family. She's the only one I've been totally open with about my gambling problem and has been a fantastic support despite having difficulties in her own life recently. I'm so lucky to have her by my side.

hi irene

carl

Thanks for posting/supporting me x

Day 35=5 weeks

A very quick post. Still gamble free and feeling good 🙂

Hi Irene,

It was gr8 2 spk 2 u in chat 2nite 🙂

U r doing brilliant and ur determination shines thru 🙂

Stay Strong xx

well done in admitting you have a problem, the hardest thing is too stay gamble free. i have tried so my times but end up thinking i can control my urges, honestly you cant control it after having a problem and never know when too walk away thats why we must not go back down the road. chasing your losess is the worst thing ever and when you lose all you have the feeling its the worst feeling ever. you cant ell anyone you feel alone, thats why its import for us too stay on here and support each other. stay strong good luck

Hi Irene

A big well done girl on breaking the five week mark, that was a big turning point for me presonally as I stopped dreaming I was gambling so hopefully things will become easier for you too

Keep safe and stay strong, just for today I will not gamble

Hugh

Hi Irene

keep it up and a big well done on days 35.

Also hope you had a nice weekend and enjoyed the dinner with your friend.

Hi irene. Brilliant and well done on reaching 35 days. I hope your very proud of what you have achieved. Blondie xx

Cheers folks x

Day 36

Feeling very festive today- caught up on all the "night out" gossip at work!!! Sounds like they had a ball, but big heads in the morning- I didn't :-). But I did have another day gamble free without the temptation.

You know, I said before I was kinda scared to be proud (pride comes b4 a fall and all that) of my achievement......well I am proud of myself (thanks for reminding me Blondie). Its not easy all the time. I'm realistic enough to accept that life's hard at times but I know that gambling won't solve any problems, will only contribute more stress. I am happier than Ive been in ages and I can only put that down to the choice I've made not to gamble today.

Hi Irene

Well dont to you for staying away from temptation on Friday night. I to am thinking of ways of steering clear of temptation.

I am sure the positive support you recieved on here must have made you feel better and show what a positive step you had taken by not going!

You 30 odd days infront of me! Make sure you stay in that place, you can then continue to advise me and warn me what is coming!!

Hi Irene,

Thanks as always 4 ur support in chat, it means a lot 🙂

Have a gr8 nite xxxx

Thanks Irene xx

Thanks guys- I enjoyed our "blether" in chat last night.

Day 37

Today's been weird. I felt a bit emotional earlier today heard stuff on the radio that had me reflecting on some difficult things this year. I could've been a better support to others who needed me. Instead, gambling was my priority- makes me feel rubbish to realise that I was like this. Maybe 1 day I'll be brave enough to explain fully.

Otherwise, work was OK- my job's usually full of stress so I'm used to it. I've learned to leave work at work.

Had a lovely evening. Spent time with a pal who I don't see often and had a great catch up. Her daughter is sooooooo funny- 10 year old's going to be an architect and maybe charge as much as £80 to design a building!!

Driving home, I had the strongest impulse to log-on to play slots. One of those "what if..." moments. Didn't last long thankfully. Turned up the music and sang along like an eejit but took my mind off the thoughts.

What's bothering me is I can't identify I trigger. Ive been trying so hard to work out when/where urges may be difficult and take steps to avoid. This came just "out of the blue". How did that urge get into my head when I was concentrating on driving??

I'm chuffed that the (bad) singing and music worked.

Phew- glad that's offloaded.